Depression

[luvsmickeymouse]

I have anxiety and depression and getting treated for it. I have made some very positive changes in my life but I do have a ways to go. I take Lexapro, BP medicine, and Adavan. Things are getting alot better. I broke up with the man that was the main cause of this, I have lost weight, and exercise now, I am actually taking care of me for once. I had a very bad anxiety attack back in May and it finally showed me that I deserved better. Its good to be among people that know what it is like to go through something like this. Some people just don't understand. I got made fun of at work. But I have so much to be thankful for. I feel right at home on this thread. Thanks!

 

[pjb_hockey_mom]

I have anxiety and depression and getting treated for it. I have made some very positive changes in my life but I do have a ways to go. I take Lexapro, BP medicine, and Adavan. Things are getting alot better. I broke up with the man that was the main cause of this, I have lost weight, and exercise now, I am actually taking care of me for once. I had a very bad anxiety attack back in May and it finally showed me that I deserved better. Its good to be among people that know what it is like to go through something like this. Some people just don't understand. I got made fun of at work. But I have so much to be thankful for. I feel right at home on this thread. Thanks!

I'm so sorry to hear that. Hopefully you'll find this a place where you can come and share how you're feeling.

It sounds to me like you're on the right track.....making changes in your life and focusing on feeling better - way to go!!

Thinking of everyone today who is suffering - prayers to all!

 

[Mackey Mouse]

"I broke up with the man that was the main cause of this, I have lost weight, and exercise now, I am actually taking care of me for once."

You are doing it... and keep doing it. Take your meds, listen to yourself and your doctors and just live your life.....go for the gusto...

As far as people making fun of you, I want to scream here.. Shame on them, I will never understand cruelty to someone who is in need.. Never.

Hugs to you, stay positive, and on track for you....who cares what others think...

Hugs all around.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

Thank you everyone, this is a great place for me to be. Since May when I had that awful anxiety attack, I have been working part time. I take my medications regularly, see my drs. regularly. I am determined to get through this once and for all. I went for so many years settling for crumbs, NO MORE! I have little setbacks now and then.

Thank You Again!

 

[mom+3girls]

Thank you everyone, this is a great place for me to be. Since May when I had that awful anxiety attack, I have been working part time. I take my medications regularly, see my drs. regularly. I am determined to get through this once and for all. I went for so many years settling for crumbs, NO MORE! I have little setbacks now and then.

Thank You Again!

Good Luck, determination will get you a long way. It is one step at a time but you will make it.

 

[ashjohnson80]

Hi everyone. I have suffered from depression for around 13 years now. The past few months I had felt better than I had since I was a child, I slowly came off the antidepressants because DH and I are ttc. And I was doing really well, for months now. But the past couple of weeks I can feel myself sliding back into it. I want to sleep all of the time. I don't want to be around people. I don't want to try to do anything because I know that I will fail. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I guess I just wanted to talk about it to someone. If I tell my mom, she'll overreact, and she just has too much on her plate right now. DH just doesn't understand, at all. He just says, "you just can't be that way". And that's the extent of it. So I'm really glad that this is here.

Ash

 

[King Triton]

I've been going through a stressful year and dealing with depression. My heart goes out to anyone dealing with drepression. So to lift my spirits I'm going to Disneyworld to celebrate Christmas. Once I walk through those gates, I leave all my cares and woes behind.

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

How is everyone doing this new year?

I got busy with the holidays, and kinda forgot about this thread.

Personally, this winter has been one of the best in many years for me, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that our weather has been a lot warmer than usual. No snow yet, and not much very cold. However, March, with all the rain and gray skies is always the worst for me. I'm hoping it will go better like the rest of this season has so far.

So how are all of you?

 

[nancyL]

Hi!
Im plugging along. Christmas and New Years werent joyous but they werent depressing either- just kind of blah. Ive been (and still am) having trouble keeping the house clean. The kids and husband are starting to complain, (and I dont much like it either) but are they helping? ha ha ha. Not. I think its a symptom- the naps are coming more and more again. At least I recognize it. I know I have to break out of it. I will. Over Christmas break (as I work in the school system, I had the week off) I did get SOME of the house clean but in the past week it all went kapluey again. Im not sure Ill ever get the Christmas decorations down. Lliving in the chaos of mess is also not helping. It would be so nice to get the house clean and organized. I really think that would make me feel so much better.
I COULD get excited about our moving to Florida, but my husband is being so uncommunicative. Its like once he broke the news to me, he wont tell me anymore. As I mentioned before, we have problems...Easy to get depressed over, but I think Im more frustrated at this point. I can talk myself into getting excited I think- Ive done some research into where we "could" be living and it "might" be nice- then again, I have no idea if he's telling me the truth about the finances so its a huge wait and see.
I know I should start excersizing- but Ive been choosing the naps instead. Bad choices Nancy!!!!! Maybe tomorrow Ill take a walk instead and come back and pack up a room. A room a day might work.....
How 'bout everyone else? Good start to a new year?
NancyL

 

[jann1033]

my eldest daughter has been dxed with clinical depression for about 5 yrs, i think it started when she was about 15 though looking back( so 14 yrs. right now she is on Lithium, last summer was very bad, closest i know of to suicide( actually standing before an open 14 story window rather than just thinking of it)...her dr had put her on ritalin to help her "focus" and i really thing it pushed her over the edge as she was headed for a depressive episode for sure but this was like no other she had ever had...ended up doing stuff that ruined her marriage( divorce should be final in a few weeks so waiting for another crash after that and she only has her daughter part time which is who kept her from jumping) and still while better is not good...wondering if anyone has ever heard anything about ritalin causing manic like episodes in adults?( know it can in kids) her dr says she is not bipolar in his opinion but she sure acted manic on ritalin

 

[jann1033]

Wow. What a great find this thread was. I was just thinking earlier today what NYMomof3 said. I look around and see all these happy people around me and I tear up and think- thats all I want. I just want to be like them. Is that so hard? Then I read on and I see Mom+3girls post and I laughed. I too am in a bad marriage and on 40 mg of Prozac. Without it I think I would be suicidal. I too have 3 kids (coincidence or what? grin). Add to the craziness, what I do for a living is work with autistic kids. I happen to like them more than most "regular" kids. They are a gift and dont ever get depressed about having one. Yes, they are harder to live with and raise, but they also reward you much more. And with appropriate intervention (ABA and other therapies) they can AND DO grow up to live normal healthy lives. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. OK? God has chosen you to have one- dont be mad at Him. He will not give you more than you can handle.
Back to me (grin). I have managed for years to just "pretend Im normal" except I just take Prozac to help and I push away the tears until Im alone and then I cry. Im an expert at hiding the evidence. Lately its been getting harder and harder to push it away and pretend. Maybe you guys can help. I really think its all situational due to the bad marriage (no abuse, he's just a jerk and I dont love him anymore) and stuff- but Im in it for the kids- 12 more years and I can go on my own. It just seems far far away right now...I wonder if Im so used to being depressed its getting to be a normal state for me. I worry about it. I was always such a happy "up" person. And I liked myself that way.

nancy you sound just like my daughter,,,i am sorry to say for a while i thought while i knew she had clinical depression it was the depression that was affecting her marriage but you know, she has a chronic illness just like you do and i do( not depression with me but a plethora of others) and in her case her husband has chosen not to be kind and supportive to her. her drs feel the marriage problem is exacerbating the depression...so while she has a 2 yr old and i hate the thought of her not having 2 full time parents i hate the thought of my daughter killing herself due to her marriage even more..her husband isn't a terrible person just a terrible husband for her and she needs to get away from him. i haven't read the rest of the posts( going backward ) but if you haven't seen a dr please do so...you deserve to be happy again..the longer you are depressed with out treatment the longer it takes for treatment to help.

 

[jann1033]

I suffered from depression long before I was diagnosed with cancer. It's not something that you take a pill and it goes away. It's a chronic disease that requires lifelong treatment. My Dh and I have been married 5 years and he's only just recently seen me in the middle of a real depressive phase. He isn't coping well with it

Our generation is the first one that it's been ok to admit to feeling this way and seeking treatment for it. Trust me, you are far from alone

i just read something like 18 million have depression( not sure it that is clinical and affective. guessing it is).
the marriage thing is tough...i know it's hard for me to see my daughter act like she hates my guts no matter what i do or say even though i know it's not really her talking, would have to be even harder for the spouse...
i doubt any one dealing with chronic illness just sails right along with perfect automatic support from their spouse....one thing that helped my husband and i was i forced him to learn about my illnesses...ie printed stuff out and read it to him. then he knew it wasn't me faking it. finally after about 10 yrs when it evidently got apparent to him i wasn't ever going to get better , it hit home and now he is mostly supportive, as much as i can expect from someone who doesn't have the same problem as i do....
so maybe the drs. could sit down and have a talk with the spouse or have some info to pass along? maybe that would help remember it's the illness that's the problem, not their spouse

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I have anxiety and depression and getting treated for it. I have made some very positive changes in my life but I do have a ways to go. I take Lexapro, BP medicine, and Adavan. Things are getting alot better. I broke up with the man that was the main cause of this, I have lost weight, and exercise now, I am actually taking care of me for once. I had a very bad anxiety attack back in May and it finally showed me that I deserved better. Its good to be among people that know what it is like to go through something like this. Some people just don't understand. I got made fun of at work. But I have so much to be thankful for. I feel right at home on this thread. Thanks!

I have been reading this thread again, and came across a post that I had written back in November. I had a setback during the holidays, but I am getting back on track. I am actually making progress. I strayed from my diet during the holidays. I am back on it though now. That guy keeps bothering me but I am standing my ground, I deserve much better. This sure is a struggle having depression and anxiety. My doctors have been great. I have been writing in my journal again, that helps ALOT. I feel so at home on the dis boards.

 

[Tiggergrams1]

I to suffer from Depression I try hard not to let many people know because sometimes I'm ashamed of it. I thought I had gotten it under control and then we moved to Florida and it seems to be rearing it's ugly head again. I've been so sick since we moved here and things have been very dificult. I just found out to that my heart is enlarged and now I'm going to have to deal with that. I moved here to Florida to be near Disney and for DH and I to have are time now that kids are all grown and now I'm afraid that's all ruined. We both work for the mouse to and I'm real worried what all this is going to do for me continueing to work. I'd come here and read a lot of your posts and thoguth about posting but was all a litle scared I try so hard to cover what I'm really feeling and was afraid that if peopel new what was going on inside me they wouldn't want to hang out with me. I hope your all doing ok this week and I'll keep you al in my prayers and thank you for letting me vent.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Kathy.. so glad to hear you are doing better..

I strayed from my dieting holiday time and am paying it back now working out at the gym and trying, I did say trying to stay on WW....

Hugs to all who post here, hoping for a great New Year for us all.

I am concerned about the OP.. I have not seen her in a while...anyone talk with her lately?

 

[jann1033]

I to suffer from Depression I try hard not to let many people know because sometimes I'm ashamed of it. I thought I had gotten it under control and then we moved to Florida and it seems to be rearing it's ugly head again. I've been so sick since we moved here and things have been very dificult. I just found out to that my heart is enlarged and now I'm going to have to deal with that. I moved here to Florida to be near Disney and for DH and I to have are time now that kids are all grown and now I'm afraid that's all ruined. We both work for the mouse to and I'm real worried what all this is going to do for me continueing to work. I'd come here and read a lot of your posts and thoguth about posting but was all a litle scared I try so hard to cover what I'm really feeling and was afraid that if peopel new what was going on inside me they wouldn't want to hang out with me. I hope your all doing ok this week and I'll keep you al in my prayers and thank you for letting me vent.

you know when my daughter first got dxed with clinical depression i read a book that said how common the part i bolded is with depression...the fact that happens to so many really brings tears to my eyes and i can only speak for myself but i'm so sorry you have to suffer thru that...i never once was shocked by my daughter as in i didn't want to be with her, i was and still am crushed i can not magically make her see what a wonderful person she is and stop her from being so tormented . i am sure the same applies to you to, i wish i could just make you all well and help you see how wonderful the rest of us think you are..

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I to suffer from Depression I try hard not to let many people know because sometimes I'm ashamed of it. I thought I had gotten it under control and then we moved to Florida and it seems to be rearing it's ugly head again. I've been so sick since we moved here and things have been very dificult. I just found out to that my heart is enlarged and now I'm going to have to deal with that. I moved here to Florida to be near Disney and for DH and I to have are time now that kids are all grown and now I'm afraid that's all ruined. We both work for the mouse to and I'm real worried what all this is going to do for me continueing to work. I'd come here and read a lot of your posts and thoguth about posting but was all a litle scared I try so hard to cover what I'm really feeling and was afraid that if peopel new what was going on inside me they wouldn't want to hang out with me. I hope your all doing ok this week and I'll keep you al in my prayers and thank you for letting me vent.

Boy do I know what you mean. I have been like this for years. I am determined this time to finish following through with the help I am receiving. I have great doctors. They talk with me about this being a real illness. I stopped seeing the man that was the main cause of this, the other reason for my depression is how my mother treats me. I am feeling good. I wonder if I will ever meet a great man that will accept me as I am. I won't settle again and I am not neglecting me anymore. Its been so hard. I can't believe the way that I allowed people to treat me. I like posting on here. I feel like people here understand. Prayers to everyone on here. Hugs to everyone also.

My brother sent me this in an email: "Pray for guidance and the right choices will be obvious."

 

[teacups]

I hate depression! Maybe thats some kind of signal, huh? I have been sick for about 5 years with a "MYSTERY" illness, which of course always gets back to depression and medication. I dont call them Happy Pills anymore, I call them Shut Up pills, as I think that's why my doctors keep pushing them on me... to shut me up. Thyroid (I dont have one, radiation killed it 20 years ago) Fibro, CFS, Depression... Im so frustrated! I still feel like crap almost every single day. I have some kind of fatigue problem. Im not just tired, or sleepy too much... I am so fatigued I feel like I'm dying, literally... and the docs just write me some pills and send me along my way. But, the pills never help long. I took myself off all antidepressants and it did help me mentally. They were screwing around with me badly, making me angry and almost violent... which got real scary real fast. I wish doctors would see the WHOLE picture. Of course Im depressed, I feel like crap and you tell me you dont know why! Which came first, the illness or the depression? Treat my actual problem and I promise you I wont be depressed. Ill throw a freaking party and dance on the table tops in a bikini!!!! (ok. forget the bikini thing...)
Sorry... venting.
I am not saying depression doesnt exist, I know it does and its real. Dont get me wrong. I am just so frustrated with this "whatever" that is wearing me down. I've become quite negative and argumentative and angry. You know how you put your keys someplace and then cant find them? Thats how I feel about "me"... where did I put that happy person I used to be? I used to feel SO GOOD. Thanks for reading this far if anyone did. I know Im having a total pity party.

 

[nancyL]

Oh Teacups, I know where you are- I want to be the happy person I used to be too. I am also angry at myself- like "WHERE ARE YOU COME BACK!!!!" I so know what you're feeling. I keep hoping for the future- maybe someday Ill find myself again. Till then, I put on my "face" for the world and come here to know Im not alone and I pray because I KNOW Im not alone and this must be happening for a reason. Oh, and I hate depression, but what I hate MORE is crying. I HATE the crying. Oh I would just whip it away to nothing if I could.
Oh your post hit me hard- Im so sorry.
((((((((((((teacups)))))))))))))
NancyL

 

[teacups]

NancyL- Thank you so much for the reply post. I sometimes feel like such a bummer, always bringing people down, the party pooper so to speak. My husband is one of those optimistic silly faced smilers thank goodness. I want in my heart to be "nice" but I truely get so tired that being nice seems to take more energy than I have. I think, oh that is such a cop-out! BUt really, it's true. Or at least I make it true. I read where you say you "put on your face" for the world... I need to get better about doing that, too. I suppose God is trying to teach me something and Im too thick-headed to just learn this lesson and move on. I just wish he'd spell it out for me. I dont take hints well! BUt then again... be careful what you wish for, right?