Discipline tips? We lost control at WDW!

[Debbie7452]

The ideas I'm getting here are really good. I think the double stroller would have been a great thing to try. My son's stroller was probably too small for him. If he saw something that interested him (about every 2 feet at WDW LOL!) he would just plant his feet down on the ground causing the stroller driver to jerk to a sudden stop. Not good, especially in a crowd where you can hit someone else by suddenly veering off course.

People have asked what they did that was so bad. It really was not any one thing. They were just out of sorts with each other a lot. There was some hitting, a lot of verbal fighting. My 10 year old decided not to ride any rides. She wouldn't even go into some shows. She spent the whole day at the exits waiting for us which naturally wasn't a lot of fun.
Except at Honey I shrunk the Audience, to go off topic, she asked the CM where to wait for us because she didn't want to go in. The CM asked her to be an "assistant" and gave her a lab coat to wear. She participated at the introduction where she was introduced to everyone and had a few lines. We were all just thrilled that this CM was so nice. They gave her a Magical Moments certificate afterward. But you see...our whole trip was not terrrible. I just know I handled it badly. I see now how taking breaks, besides meal time wopuld really help. I had brought cold water and snacks but they didn't want those much.

We WERE too rushed. We did not go back for naps, although DS fell asleep in the stroller. We should not have stayed for the parade, tinker belle, and fireworks after doing the park all day long. I think I did not get anough sleep and was probably less tolerant to some of it than I should have been. It's hard on your first trip there I think. If you ask the kids now, they all say they had a wonderful vacation. Even the 10 year old (who did NOTHING but complain) claims to have had a great time!??

Thanks again for all the practical tips!

 

[RUDisney]

I'm printing this advice to give to my dh. I mentioned to him just the other day that our next trip will be different from the others we have taken in the past since we have children now. He said, "why?" Honestly, had no idea that it would be different with kids.

I think seeing other people's experiences will be good for him and he can prepare himself for some meltdowns and help me maintain my composure, too.

As a first time Mom and Dad, (the kids are 6 & 7 and have been ours since last October) I appreciate everyone's advice.

 

[catwho]

Since your kids are so close in age (mine are all seperated by 3 years) you may or may not run into the same kinds of problems that we do. One thing that has worked for us is if one wants to do one thing and the other child wants to do something differently is we will split up. For instance our son wasn't tall enough to ride BTMRR. So we would go get a baby swap pass for me to go after the others were finished and then ds and I would head off to go do something else like ride back and forth to TSI (he just likes the boat ride LOL!) Or if we didn't have FP's for a ride that we knew would take some time we would hop over to the next land and do something that he wanted to do. A train ride all the way around was a welcome relief and gave him a break from his sisters (plus he loves trains)

When we had just the girls (or when ds was just a baby) we let the older one navigate. She had a map to the park and would "guide us" to the next attraction. What helped in this was that she set the pace instead of dh who just goes!

Our best investment to help pass the time when waiting for parades and such (since you want a good spot so your short ones can see, you have to get to the line a little early) was a popcorn bucket. Price was $3.50 (I think) and we would just buy a refill as needed. This bucket saved us hundreds of times and since it came with a lid, we could close it up when we went on rides and still have "waiting snack" available for the next time we were waiting. We ended up with 2 since we forgot our bucket one day. My son adores his buckets. He plays with them often and insists on eating popcorn from them when we have Movie Night.

There are lots of strategies for going to WDW with little kids and not loosing patience or having them loose tempers. My biggest thing is when one of the kids starts to act out I stop and think, "When's the last time we ate, had something to drink, took a break or went potty?" If it has been a while since any of those we would sto and get something to eat, have a drink, take a break and/or go potty.

Disney is different with kids, but it is so wonderful to share the Magic with a child and see WDW through a child's eyes! Give them each a (good) disposable camera and look at how they saw Disney! It may surprise you. My youngest dd's (6 at the time) photo album looks a whole lot like Lilo's.

 

[dznyfan40]

WDW can be an ambitious and overwhelming trip for anybody, and too often our own expectations of how its going to go are so opposite from the reality. Every family is different, and with my 2 kids (7 & 12 now) (we go every two years) we've found it helpful to:

1. Not to have too much structured, planned time. We just don't want to have some "have to do this now" plan we need to follow. Someone else wrote that this wouldn't work for their family, so I guess you have to determine how your kids, you & DH would be most comfortable.

2. Let the kids feel empowered to make some decisions...we gave choices: do you want to go on Buzz Lightyear now, or head back to the pool? Inevitably one wants to do one thing, and the other something else, so we're cool about splitting up. Of course we're evenly matched: 2 grownups, 2 kids. We loooove our 2 way radios for just this purpose.

3. Head it off at the pass: when we can see one of the kids getting tired, hot, cranky, whatever, we take a break by finding a quiet spot, or head back to the resort. Again, if we need to, we split up.

My kids haven't really had meltdowns there, but I've felt it when I've been fast approaching one, and feel myself starting to lose patience...again, we try to head that off at the pass, too, cause if Mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy!

No worries, your kids are just being kids...the next trip will be different, and so will each one after that...

 

[Debbie7452]

That's it! I've figured it out. What I needed was to budget in a large supply of Mickey Ice Cream bars for Mommy & Daddy! LOL

No really, I feel much better prepared now. If I can just talk husband into planning the next trip. Even if it's two years away, I've just got to know when so I can start planning it! Maybe by that time we'll have the four kids I wanted so the insanity will only compound itself...

 

[AKASnowWhite]

I have to admit, the margarita's from the Mexican Cantina have (on more than 1 occasion!!) done WONDERS for my attitude, and just how much patience I have with my not-always-the-best-behaved children!

But really, I think that sometimes the kids are so over-stimulated they simply don't know what to do with themselves. They honestly don't mean to be so awful, but they just can't process everything. We too, have found the *playground* type areas (Tom Sawyer, Norway, Boneyard, HISTK) to be a welcome diversion. The kids can simply let off steam and then be ready to go at it again.

 

[eeyore0062]

Well, have you ever taken them on a day trip to an amusement park prior to taking them somewhere like IOA or Disney? We found that by taking our DD to one of the local theme parks from the time she was 1 1/2, by the time we went to the "biggie's" she would know what was expected of her. Also, we bought a kids leash, never intending to use it. She knew we had it, though, and just the thought of running off and having to endure the leash was enough incentive to behave. We had no problems whatsoever!

You have to lay down the law, and stick to it. If you tell them that if they misbehave they will have to leave the park, and then do it... with no trips to the pool or game room, or TV once back in the room, they should get the picture very quickly. Even if only one misbehaves, they will all have to pay for it, so you have that peer pressure thing going, as well. And you have to be willing to stick to your word, no matter how difficult that may be! It may seem awfully harsh, but believe me, (know from experience with my parents), it definitely WILL WORK!

 

[MrsPete]

First, I LOVE that idea about giving the kids their souvenier money in ones and TAKING A DOLLAR when they misbehave. I'll definately try this one -- of course, it would likely work best if you practice at home first!

Second, be careful about what your kids eat. If they eat sugary breakfast cereal, wash it down with soda, then snack on doughnuts and candy bars . . . well, the sugar is going to get to them. It's better to be the "mean mom" and insist upon moderation in sugar and caffeine.

 

[catwho]

Originally posted by eeyore0062
You have to lay down the law, and stick to it. If you tell them that if they misbehave they will have to leave the park, and then do it... with no trips to the pool or game room, or TV once back in the room, they should get the picture very quickly. Even if only one misbehaves, they will all have to pay for it

Gee, I thought this was a family vacation. One of the things that dh and I keep in mind is that our children are generally well-behaved. So if they do something that is out of the ordinary we know that something is amiss. When on vacation, we all let our hair down. There are a few things that we expect. We expect our children to stay with one of the adults that is in the groups (4 adults 3 children) and if they "change adults" that they are to let the one that they are with know that they are going with another. We expect them to find a CM if they get seperated. We expect for them to keep up with the things that they decide to carry (pin lanyards, sunglasses, waterbottles). We expect them to have fun. What they expect from us is that we will feed them, water them, sunscreen them, be aware of their needs and let them have fun.

I refuse to make ultimatums with my children. "You behave or else" Because what you are saying is that if they aren't 100% then you are going to allow them to ruin your vacation as well. I don't want that. I'll solve a problem rather than leave the parks. And as I have said in my other post(s?) you have to prepare your children. Make sure they have some spending money of their own, make sure that they understand limitations in spending, make sure that they have eaten, had enough to drink and gone potty recently and make sure that the majority of their day isn't standing in one long line after another.

My kids have actually said to me, "Mom, can we go do X rather than stand in line? Maybe when we come back the line will be shorter or we won't be so tired." Gee, that's not such a bad request.

I look at it like this, if my children are fighting with each other then they are only ruining their own vacation and I'm not paying $2000 to sit in my resort staring at blank oddly wallpapered walls. I'd rather spend 5 minutes to work the situation out. Generally it can be worked out quite equitably to suit everyone.

I know this is long but I want to give an example. On our last trip my dh wanted to go do Test Track. One dd did, the other didn't, and ds couldn't. I could care less really. So dh decided that he was going to just do it and it didn't matter what anyone else said and started to storm off in that direction. They younger dd wailed that it "wasn't fair" and she "wasn't going" Older dd told the younger one she was being a crybaby and ds (3.5) said, "I going to pinch you" to older dd. If it weren't for mom doing some quick thinking Mt. Vesuvius was about to erupt and Epcot was going to be laid to waste under 100 million tons of ash and volcanic rock. Mom says, "What is it, dd#2 that you want to do so badly?" "I wanna go there!" (pointing to WoL building) so I say to dh, "Why don't you run over to Test Track and get FP's and meet us back at WoL? By the time we are finished playing in there for a while our time should be up for TT." "Hey, great idea!" And Epcot was saved once again and everyone was happy *and* no one remembers this incident except me. Ask dh and he will tell you that it was *his* idea to run go get FP's while the family played ato WoL!

 

[Jasmine13]

I agree with Eeyore0062... sometimes you have to take the hardline with kids, and take away priveleges... goodness knows it only will happen once, and they will have learned their lesson. You really have to suit the punishment to the infraction, and some things work with some kids, and other things with other kids, depending on their personalities. If the kids are being that bad, then they should have to go back and sit in the room... a timeout, if you will. Maybe $2000 is being spent, but if the kids aren't behaving, and softer tactics aren't working, then it is ruining that $2000 vacation anyway. Parents really do need to let the kids know that they are in charg, even on vacation.

 

[eeyore0062]

Thanks for the support, Jasmine. Sounds like we were raised in the same manner. Tough love... that is how I like to refer to it. We have been lucky and never had to resort to it, but my parents used it, and believe me, we never pulled some of those stunts again!

 

[Debbie7452]

I appreciate everone who has taken the time to offer advice. It has been so helpful to me.

Eeyore- We had done a few trips to our local Six Flags and those trips were great! I think the difference was that I had been there a million times and we did not try to do it all. I understand there might be a place for the kind of discipline you recommend but first I'd like to try some of the softer approaches I've heard about in this thread. THEN if those don't work, I'll be ready for your method (and some margarita's from Mexico !)

I have discussed some of these ideas with my kids. They agreed the $20/remove a dollar idea would be effective!

My DH have also discussed this issue. While he won't commit to Disney yet, he has agreed to try a small trip to Sea World in San Antonio (about a three hour drive). Cross your fingers that everything goes well so we can return to WDW some day.

 

[danareed]

My meltdown came in the Muppet line. We were all too hot and tired at once and all 3 kids were bugging each other... I walked them backwards out of the line saying, "Excuse me, bad children" Now it seems so stupid it's funny but at the time I was furious. When we got to the end of that line (and didn't get back in) I said I could just as easily walk out of the park and get them a babysitter so that my husband and I could have fun. They were 12,10and7!

Now my 8 yr old and I do Magic Kingdom and my husband takes the two big kids. They ride big scary roller coasters all day long and we get character's autographs. We meet up for a character meal and everybody is happy. My husband would die if he had to wait 45 min. for a picture with Ariel! My youngest and I made it fun. I say to each his own.

Dana

 

[eeyore0062]

Debbie, I wasn't suggesting those tactics as a 1st or even 2nd resort. I would definitely have to have exhausted all other options before I used them. Unfortunately, my father had a shorter fuse than I do. It did work... and there were no more problems from me or my brother ever again! I do like the babysitting idea though... after that, those Margaritas would definitely be calling my name!

 

[Buckaroo's Dad]

Being a single parent with only one child (still single digit), I simply don't allow him to "meltdown." He knows the rules. Yes, the dear lad is allowed to get tired and cranky. But he is not allowed to interrupt the vacations of those around us. He has learned daddy will do his utmost to rectify any given problem.

With three children, ouch! One piece of advice is giving the children an opportunity to experience their own vacation. If one daughter wishes to "live" at the swimming pool, then for a day or two it is my opinion that she be allowed to do just that. Speak with your resort to arrange for a "pool sitter" with indoor activities as well. If no one else in the family is of the disposition to relax around the pool, Disney offers the means for your daughter to be granted her wish while you and the others enjoy your own choices.

Wishing you all a truly wonderful vacation, Buckaroo's Dad.

 

[Buckalew]

I didn't read all the replies so forgive me for repeating anything...
Our biggest thing for surviving WDW is nap breaks. Trust me, DH & I have slept too. The place can wear you out. I actually try to keep a "regular" schedule there. DD is used to an early bedtime so we don't go much beyond that time except when E-night is offered. Regular meal times and regular food w/o too much "junk/treats" helps also. It is funny how little ones can like those pools so much that they would rather not venture back into the parks! I am thinking a lot of this depends on how much your kids like to ride the rides too. I'm lucky, DD has never melted down at WDW (but I have. )
Good luck on your next trip!

 

[travelitis]

Holding a child accountable by witholding a priviledge isn't some over-the-top, tough-love tactic that you need to defend, eeyore. There's nothing wrong with saying, "No" when a child is knowingly acting up, vacation or not. You're simply reinforcing that every choice has a consequence. We don't get to choose consequences, but we can choose how we'll act. I believe if anyone has taken what you've said to mean you're an inflexible and overly strict parent who takes the fun out of vacation, they're mistaken.

On the other side of the coin are the parents who won't tell their kids, "No" to the point they're infringing on the enjoyment of others' vacations. Anyone ever want to tell another parent at WDW to act like one?

 

[bobcat]

I totally agree with eeyore, as my reply was similar. Setting boundaries for your child is important and they need to know what happens when these boundaries are crossed. If a child has never been to WDW before, or any other amusement park, then they are overstimulated and get tired out easily. Meltdowns do happen but until a child knows how far they can push it is a parents job to set the rules.

 

[eeyore0062]

Thank you so much, Bobcat and Travelitis for your backup! I was starting to feel like the evil stepmother here. I just think that a child should be held accountable for his/her actions, and know the consequences if they decide not to behave. Maybe it is because I am a bit older, and had my child when I was in my 30's, but I don't believe that discipline goes out the window just because we are on vacation. I am very lucky to have not had to deal with it myself, first hand, while on vacation, but I would have no trouble using the same time out and removal of priveledge tactics that I employ at home. To do anything else removes the consistancy, and promotes more acting out, in the long run. Kids need and crave consistancy and rules. As always, JMHO

 

[Minnie's Mate]

We had one time with older ds (4 yo)where he had one of his knock down drag out tantrums. We simply divided and conquered. My husband took the younger one(1 yo at time) to go on a ride and making a big deal of it while I took the older one to sit in the shade near a restroom and water and had some "chillout time" in the park. He got the point that timeout can be in the park and life will go on for the rest of the group. We told him that he would sit there until he got it under control. (Part of the problem was he was going through that second terrible twos that they have in their 3-4 yo stage.) I think being firm is very important and following through with what you say, but you can do it without sacrificing the trip for all. August will be older ds's (now 5) 7th trip and the younger (now 2) one's 4th, I think (I am losing count), and haven't really had too much problems since. One thing that we always do is schedule sit down meal times (at least one at lunch - hottest part of day- and maybe again at dinner) at an air conditioned place. We did the on-the-go hot dogs/hamburger/pizza thing the first trip or two and spent pretty much the same as a PS at Crystal Palace or LTT for the same or less amount of food. Eating junk food and fast food, I think you pay a price in lack of energy and don't get the same down time in a cool AC spot. We also have regular snack in am and pm, have the kids rest in the shade in their stroller in out of the way spots in each park and take turns on our own while they are napping. August will be slight different as older ds has outgrown nap, so we'll see. We plan, plan, plan everything. With my older one, I try to tell him what the plan is ahead of time and the contingency if it doesn't work out. Granted you can plan yourself out of a good time if you can't be flexible but the kids know since we discussed all their favorites, which is just about everything, that we will probably get to do most everything. They learn to be flexible too. As my older son is getting old enough, I am making up my own "Mickey Money" for him to earn for spending on small stuff. Planning to start that next April trip. He knows that we never buy anything during the day until the end (as I don't want to keep up with it all day). Also, we limit the kids to one big thing usually for a souvenier for the trip since we usually go twice a year. So we really have not had a big problem with nagging to buy stuff... yet. I really think the meal thing and planning food has really helped us.