This. I simply couldn't have done it. It was complicated by the fact that both my DH's parents had multiple re-marriages - no way were either of us calling the step-parent of the day Mom or Dad; nor were they Grandma or Grandpa to our DS. And my parents never wanted that from any of our spouses either. My brother's wife and sister's husband always just called them by their first names. DH's daughters' husbands use our first names also; I'm their step-mother and they themselves use my first name - it would feel very weird any other way.No No No. They were not my parents. I called them by their first names, as our son-in-law does with us.
Hopefully for you your daughter in law will like you and want to call you anything. Reading this thread it seems quite common for mother in laws to not be liked.I have limited contact w/ my in-laws but if I need to address them I will call they by their first name. My husband who enjoys a good relationship w/ my folks calls them by a combo of their first names and grandmom/grandpop.
Interesting question...I become a MIL for the first time in just over a month and now that I think about it I'm not sure my new DIL has ever called me anything! I better clear that up with her, she can call me what she wants
This is something I've thought about myself. I didn't have fantastic in-laws but they weren't monsters either. We managed, but weren't close. When (and if) the time comes, I hope to have a different relationship with a DIL and any grandchildren so I guess it's wise to consider these cautionary tales.Hopefully for you your daughter in law will like you and want to call you anything. Reading this thread it seems quite common for mother in laws to not be liked.
My motto is Drama Free is the Way to Be! I think it helps that my general attitude in life is laid back, AND I understand that once my boys marry they will need to split their time & attention between 2 families. We have a solid relationship and I'm not threatened. I'm looking forward to the addition to our family. Both my boys are getting married in 2023 and we are happy about it.Hopefully for you your daughter in law will like you and want to call you anything. Reading this thread it seems quite common for mother in laws to not be liked.
I'm not threatened
These I think tend to be key for many in terms of how well the relationship is.they will need to split their time & attention between 2 families.
I love this!My motto is Drama Free is the Way to Be! I think it helps that my general attitude in life is laid back, AND I understand that once my boys marry they will need to split their time & attention between 2 families. We have a solid relationship and I'm not threatened. I'm looking forward to the addition to our family. Both my boys are getting married in 2023 and we are happy about it.
I've had both good & bad examples of mother in laws in my life, so I'm trying my best to learn from both of them- at least that is my goal.
This is a good attitude, and what I'd go with myself, if I had to. I'm just blessedly glad nobody insists I call them Mom or Dad and nobody (so far) has wanted to call me Mom, except my own child.I’ve been married two times and have only had one FIL total. I didn’t really call him anything. If we were talking, we’d just talk and if I was referring to him, I’d either say your dad, or ex’s dad.
My forever husband (lol) does not have a living parent, and they were both gone by the time I met him. He calls my parents mom and dad and it’s very weird to me, but they’re all happy with it, so that’s what we do.
If his parents were alive, I would not call them mom and dad.
This is a good attitude, and what I'd go with myself, if I had to. I'm just blessedly glad nobody insists I call them Mom or Dad and nobody (so far) has wanted to call me Mom, except my own child.
Maybe not - I certainly never wanted that from my DH's daughters, who were both older teens when we married. We've never really been able to stomach the "step" thing either. We refer to one another as Dad's wife and DH's daughters, when the context is necessary.I’m glad my ex never got remarried because I’m sure there would have been pressure for my daughter to call her mom and I would not be ok with that at all. I know that’s my own issue, but I’m still glad I didn’t have to deal with it.
eta- my daughter doesn’t call my husband dad. She calls him by his first name, and he calls her Munchkin. She told me probably five or six years ago that if someone refers to him as her dad she doesn’t correct them
Kinda off topic but I have a sister in law, much older than I, that calls me mom when she visits... Drives me bonkers. Thankfully she lives out of state and doesn't come very often.I'm just blessedly glad nobody insists I call them Mom or Dad and nobody (so far) has wanted to call me Mom, except my own child.