Principal called police because our 9 year old rode his bike alone

[Zosha]

OP: I would urge you to quickly google what ASD stands for - it’s not Aspergers. If you’re going to argue this, then you need to understand the acronyms or you are making it easy for CPS. Also the podcast Do No Harm is really interesting and I think they have some links to parent advocate groups also.

 

[DVCcurious]

OP: I would urge you to quickly google what ASD stands for - it’s not Aspergers. If you’re going to argue this, then you need to understand the acronyms or you are making it easy for CPS. Also the podcast Do No Harm is really interesting and I think they have some links to parent advocate groups also.

I guarantee I've read more about ASD than you have. How many books have you read about ASD? I've read three. How many articles have you read about it? I've read hundreds. Our son has been tested for ASD and he doesn't have it.

We've been dealing with this for 6 years. We've seen everybody, we've talked to everybody, he's been tested by everybody. The ONLY people who claim he has ASD are the school district personnel.

Odd behavior does NOT equal ASD.

 

[DVCcurious]

So I have a strategy here:

At the meeting today I'm going to request the district provide me a letter signed by their attorney stating that they will provide the services in the least restrictive environment in accordance with the law. They will not file a PWN to change his placement to a more restrictive environment without express written consent of me and my wife.

First, if they actually give us the letter it will protect our son. Second, this will delay the process some more. Third, if they complain to CPS I can now tell CPS I'm negotiating the terms of the services and I've requested the school provide me a letter that says they will follow federal law.

 

[DL1WDW2]

Is this upon the advice of your legal counsel?
I think you should have attorney present at this meeting .
Personally I would call them and tell them you have been exposed to Covid and want to take Covid test and quarantine for 14 days... this worked for somebody I know because they were waiting to pick up a prescription and somebody was coughing standing next to him. When he called work they , in response, were legally required to the 14 day Q no matter how silly that sounds because this person is constantly calling in sick anyway as it is !
You will have to have nose swab today and again in 14 days ...but if you are trying to make it to the end of the school year...
I am so sorry for you and your family . This is worse than any scary nightmare.
P.S. when you call tell them you have been monitoring your temperature at home and so far no fever but you are going for Covid test anyway today... and self quarantining ...

 

[DVCcurious]

No I didn't run this by the attorney. So I just sent him an email. The meeting isn't until 1 so he'll probably get back to me by then but I won't do anything until I talk to him.

The attorney doesn't need to be at this meeting because it's just the kick off where they explain your rights as a parent and the testing process and the timeline. Really we're just looking to run out the clock here and I don't want to spend $400 for the attorney to be listening for an hour. If they ask me to agree to anything I'll just tell them I need to talk to my attorney first. But I'm pretty sure that I'm just supposed to listen to them and receive the disclosures at this meeting. We WILL have the attorney present during the CSE meeting.

 

[DVCcurious]

Talk to your attorney, see if you can negotiate a settlement with CPS that will not result in you being put on the statewide child abuse index.

Yes that's what he's planning on doing. We DID let our son ride his bike unattended. So technically we are guilty. I think he's going to just try to minimize the damage to us.

then we'll be in a new district next year and we can start over.

 

[TwoMisfits]

No I didn't run this by the attorney. So I just sent him an email. The meeting isn't until 1 so he'll probably get back to me by then but I won't do anything until I talk to him.

The attorney doesn't need to be at this meeting because it's just the kick off where they explain your rights as a parent and the testing process and the timeline. Really we're just looking to run out the clock here and I don't want to spend $400 for the attorney to be listening for an hour. If they ask me to agree to anything I'll just tell them I need to talk to my attorney first. But I'm pretty sure that I'm just supposed to listen to them and receive the disclosures at this meeting. We WILL have the attorney present during the CSE meeting.

The attorney should be there to do your talking. At this point, anything you have done has dug your hole further, rightly or wrongly.

The nice thing about an attorney talking is the hole can't get bigger, it can only get smaller, b/c nothing the attorney says can be attributed directly to you. In fact, if I was at the meeting, I would say my attorney was going to do all the talking and I was gonna be the listener and to have the school proceed.

I do wish you luck OP. I know you're moving. If it were me, I'd have moved out of state, b/c that would end this, particularly if you went private or homeschooled in the fall - once you're another state's problem, your 1st state stops caring.

And I would tell you that the system has square holes they want everyone to fit in. It is enormous and runs as an assembly line. You want your child to stay a circle in that line, so of course, the system will do what it can to reject the circle and force it back to a square. If you keep staying in that system, this is gonna keep happening and piss the system off more.

And I know you keep rejecting it, but homeschooling is where many, many special needs kids and "weird" kids who didn't fit into the system comes to rest. Some get there b/c they don't get services, some get there b/c the services they get suck, some get there b/c their mental health needs it after always being labeled the "bad" kid or the "strange" kid, and some get there b/c their parents don't want to hold them academically behind, so they work on their other needs in gentle, 1-on-1 ways while allowing them to excel academically. If you get this current issue settled and you want to keep your child from the state's decision on your son's needs, you'll want to take back your right to personally educate your child, which right now you have given to the state.

 

[DVCcurious]

The attorney should be there to do your talking. At this point, anything you have done has dug your hole further, rightly or wrongly.

The nice thing about an attorney talking is the hole can't get bigger, it can only get smaller, b/c nothing the attorney says can be attributed directly to you. In fact, if I was at the meeting, I would say my attorney was going to do all the talking and I was gonna be the listener and to have the school proceed.

I am not going to talk. they are going to explain my rights and ask me to sign something to allow them to begin testing his eligibility for special ed services. An attorney will be on the calls when they get further along.

 

[Jmljasmine]

No good. CPS will definitely charge us with abuse if we home school. We are on their radar and they will not accept us giving our "special needs severely autistic" son no special ed services.

Homeschool defense league can help defend your rights.

 

[jerseygal]

9 years old is too young in my opinion..what is that 3rd grade?
If I were in a principals position, I would speak with you first, IF this was a first time occurrence. SO many things can happen with predators watching kids on bikes, kids walking alone.. unfortunately, there are too many sick disturbed strangers out there to take a risk.. a pickup truck or car for that matter can pull along side a young kid, empower him, drag him in a car, and the rest is ugly.... Just my opinion. Better to error on side of caution

 

[Meglen]

9 years old is too young in my opinion..what is that 3rd grade?
If I were in a principals position, I would speak with you first, IF this was a first time occurrence. SO many things can happen with predators watching kids on bikes, kids walking alone.. unfortunately, there are too many sick disturbed strangers out there to take a risk.. a pickup truck or car for that matter can pull along side a young kid, empower him, drag him in a car, and the rest is ugly.... Just my opinion. Better to error on side of caution

I watch my son walk to the bus stop and wait till the bus gets him before I take my eyes off him(almost 12). Even when I was a child in the early 90s I never went anywhere alone, and I was a smart athletic child. My mother freaked out one day I walked to a friend's house alone(legit a 5 min walk) when my ride after practice dipped out. To each there own.

 

[olwyngdh]

If you do consider homeschooling (which I highly recommend having been forced into it by a horrible teacher/school) take a look at Calvert https://www.calverteducation.com/ . I know, because a friend used it, that they have a program geared toward struggling students whose needs are not being met by the school system. I used their regular program for a year before switching to one that better fit my daughter's learning style, and the support they offer is phenomenal.

 

[DL1WDW2]

So I have a strategy here:

At the meeting today I'm going to request the district provide me a letter signed by their attorney stating that they will provide the services in the least restrictive environment in accordance with the law. They will not file a PWN to change his placement to a more restrictive environment without express written consent of me and my wife.

First, if they actually give us the letter it will protect our son. Second, this will delay the process some more. Third, if they complain to CPS I can now tell CPS I'm negotiating the terms of the services and I've requested the school provide me a letter that says they will follow federal law.

This was the strategy you posted in middle of night... sounds like you plan to talk and need legal counsel.

 

[AZMermaid]

What does the classroom teacher say in all this?

 

[DVCcurious]

What does the classroom teacher say in all this?

"You don't understand Mr. X....sometimes I have to spend 15 MINUTES working one on one with your son!"

That's a direct quote from the meeting we had in January.

 

[ElizabethG]

My son was diagnosed with ASD. His actual diagnosis is PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified) which is considered on the spectrum. Regardless of how vague the diagnosis is, it was a benefit to him.

I was not happy with the school district (no where near the problems you are having). I looked for charter schools. We have them all over the state and each setup differently. They are considered free public schools in our state. For the end of elementary and most of middle school he went to a Montessori charter school. Then for the end of middle and through high school I found another charter school that we just loved. I would have homeschooled if we had not found these options.

Here is why the diagnosis was important: In elementary, he got pulled out of regular class for special ed classes a lot. By the end of middle school, he was actually getting pulled out less. The time and aide he received moved him to a less restrictive level. By his junior year, the only accommodation he was receiving was extra time on tests. I mention this because this was key to him being successful. He needed the medical diagnosis and HS special ed records to receive accommodations for college. He is now finishing his sophomore year at college, majoring in computer science. He receives 1.5 time for tests and is allowed to take them in a quiet location if desired. It takes him longer, and he really needs that extra time.

 

[Meglen]

"You don't understand Mr. X....sometimes I have to spend 15 MINUTES working one on one with your son!"

That's a direct quote from the meeting we had in January.

Teachers only have so much time during the day to help all children. If a child needs 15-20 min on top of the class time than extra help at other times is needed. My son had an IEP due to slight adhd. he is better than he was in elementary school but just having this paper give him help when he is struggling to keep up, and teachers giving him a leeway on homework due dates. Get him the paper work the school thinks he needs it will only benefit him int he long run. All students are treated differently so there is no "normal" they have assisted classes and AP classes and reg classes and even without a disability children are moved around.

 

[AZMermaid]

"You don't understand Mr. X....sometimes I have to spend 15 MINUTES working one on one with your son!"

That's a direct quote from the meeting we had in January.

Unfortunately that is kind of a long time if it’s a regular thing. Is he good about waiting patiently until she’s available? Can he complete the work at home?

 

[Zosha]

I guarantee I've read more about ASD than you have. How many books have you read about ASD? I've read three. How many articles have you read about it? I've read hundreds. Our son has been tested for ASD and he doesn't have it.

We've been dealing with this for 6 years. We've seen everybody, we've talked to everybody, he's been tested by everybody. The ONLY people who claim he has ASD are the school district personnel.

Odd behavior does NOT equal ASD.

That’s a very defensive and odd response. Perhaps I misread your post about ASD and Aspergers? Anyway, all the best in your battle.

 

[mfly]

I've talked with the lead attorney for special education services for the district, the superintendent, the head of student services (who runs special education for the district) two principals, a school psychologist, 2 special education teachers, and a speech therapist. They are ALL corrupt. They do not have the best interest of my child in mind.

This quote here summarizes the core of the issue for me.

I know you’re venting, but this theme has pervaded your comments throughout the thread, so it seems that you really believe this.

I hope you would do some reflection on this. To say that 9/9 of the staff that work were involved with your son are not only corrupt, but don’t have the best interest of your child in mind is hard to swallow.

Special Education teachers and School Speech Therapists do not make a lot of money. For the most part, they’re in their role because they want to help students succeed.

This is clearly an extremely emotional issue for you, and I understand that. It seems like you would benefit from talking to a third-party person (a licensed family therapist?) in order to work through those emotions so that you can focus on finding the best solution for your son.

Wishing you all the best.