Self aware of limitations

[qv09vvp]

At this point Im just needing some advice and sympathy I think ... sigh

Thanks to our DVC we are blessed fo take my first cousin family members on a large family trip. We all grew up together but now find ourselves scattered so this will be a great way to connect again . 4 age groups , almost 70s, the 50s, the 20s, and one 7 year old .

We have made abundantly clear we are providing rooms (lots of space!) for everyone but it's their vacation to do what they want . I even have a family website that has everything detailed down to Uber info from the Airport.

I've done our itinerary for 7 year old which includes several rope drops and is generally pretty heavy on the rides . I call this the fast moving group

The huge problem i can see coming is the one person who seems to continually expect to spend every minute with the fast moving group yet for local family events it's always a toss up wether she will even make it to the family gathering much less show up on time. Full disclosure , I am size 16/18 myself but I walk daily and can manage the large amount of walking in the parks . Not to be brutal but this cousin is much larger and has health issues to go along with it .

It's not that I don't want this cousin to come . She doesn't seem to be picking up all the stuff I'm laying down about we all aren't staying together all day. I also don't want to get caught up in rescuing her.

Tbh , I'm all over the place and just looking for someone not directly involved to share an opinion . The fast group is already expressing concern to me about being slowed down too

 

[sponica]

I've become much more blunt over the years and now I go in with "these are the plans, join when you can, leave when you want". And I've decided that people are adults who can figure it out. If they can't, that's on them.

The plans for the 7 year old should include way more flexibility though, my kiddo is that age and while she can do several rope drops, she hates rides.

 

[Princesca]

I feel pretty conflicted about this. You stated that this will be a great opportunity to reconnect with extended family, but then don't seem to want to accommodate a member of the family who might not be able to keep up? I kinda look at Disney trips (esp when I'm getting to go fairly often) as having different aims. Sometimes I go to Disney and it's commando-style, open and close the parks, get as much done as possible. Other times, the aim is to spend time with family, and I go in with different expectations. It just makes me a little sad to think of inviting family on a trip, who want to spend time with you, and then leaving them behind because they have physical limitations.

Other than that point... in terms of practical advice, I would say scooter rental is a good option for this person. With that, she should be able to keep up. Maybe the rest of the family could even offer to split that cost for her as a kind gesture. Other than that, I would say just to clearly note to the family that most of the 'family time' is going to be happening back at the hotel and not in the parks. I don't think there's much else you can do.

 

[snikki]

I think you’re overestimating how fast the 7 year old will be going especially if they don’t have a stroller. It really depends on the kid and the time of year and the weather. Kids that age can start out full of energy but can lose steam earlier than you think. The slower family member and the 7 year old may move the same.

If the family member has a scooter I think it will help. And also just being realistic with them.

 

[lanejudy]

If you are close enough with this family member, I suggest a conversation. Presumably this person may not have been to WDW or not for a long while and may not realize the amount of walking involved. Talk about it. Ask her to pick a location about a mile away from home. Then ask "could you walk there (assuming sidewalks, safety, etc.)?... And back? ... Five times?" Explain that most WDW visitors do 6-10 miles of walking per day. Maybe an ECV would be something for her to consider.

Beyond that... I do somewhat agree with @Princesca that it might be nice to have a slower-paced focus this trip to be able to reconnect with the extended family. How big is this "fast group" and how many are WDW regulars? Maybe any regulars could trade off each day with one planning to sort of "bring up the rear" with anyone who ends up straggling that day, allowing the rest of the "fast group" to continue on. It might be this relative, it might be the 7 yr old, it might be any one of the other adults. Anybody can end up having a day they just don't move quickly.

If that's not an acceptable option -- bite the bullet and tell this person that you are providing accommodations only and you've got a really fast-paced park plan each day and she should plan to join a slower group, and you look forward to visiting with her when you are at the hotel.

 

[sponica]

As a side note, I'm not sure I know what the goal of this trip is?

Is this a family trip that happens to be at WDW or is it a WDW trip that happens to have family?

 

[disneydreamer1980]

Id say don’t worry about it til you get there, this cousin may change their mind by then and if not, 1 day commando style will probably convince the cousin to stay with the slower group. Just tell the person there’s lots of walking involved and if they’re going to be with you they need to keep up. I agree with the scooter idea too, she may be able to keep up with one.

 

[midwestdee]

I think the “fast moving group” is “ already expressing concerns “ to the wrong person! Encourage them to direct their concerns to the slow mover, I think you are MORE than generous with what you’ve done already.

 

[Miffy]

OP, you don't say how many people are involved in this large family trip but it sounds more like a curse than a blessing to me! But I'm not into group vacations. At all.

That being said, perhaps you could back away from doing all this planning for everybody and just plan for yourself and the companions who will be going with you to various parks, etc. It's not up to you to make everyone's trip perfect and, anyway, how could you? It's impossible to predict what someone else will like, will want to do, or will be able to tolerate.

Maybe even some of your fast-moving people won't be so fast moving when it comes to trekking around Disney. Maybe they would want to but that doesn't mean they will. Or maybe they'd like to stop and look at things in a way that you can't anticipate. Let them take care of themselves.

 

[Genie+]

One of the best things about staying on site is ability to easily come and go as you please with WDW transportation.

I also think the larger the party, the harder it is staying together. Bathroom/snack/bench breaks… turns into alot of waiting to proceed. We prefer to plan a few things together like a couple rides, a meal and maybe the night show each day.

Renting an ECV is not a bad idea either. If my parents join us on a trip, I’m thinking to rent 1 ECV for them to take turns and share. It’s too many miles for them day after day. Cutting that in half will make it doable.

 

[nyy]

OP, decide the priorities of the trip. As others have said, is it for you to reconnect? Or is it to maximize rides?

It would matter who in the group has previously been to WDW.

I also agree with some others that suggest a conversation with the family member that everyone seems to have concerns about. I have health issues that I have communicated to my family will change how I tour on our upcoming trip. We have all been to WDW many times, so we know that we have the ability to be flexible and make sure everyone has a great trip. But not everyone feels comfortable advocating for themselves. Maybe this family member needs a 1:1 with specific examples or ideas to help them decide what is best for them. Reach out to this person with excitement and a variety of ways that you know the plans can be flexible.

You sound very organized (website) and knowledgeable about WDW (DVC) but those unfamiliar with WDW often underestimate the size and complexity. There is so much to learn about WDW that if you are not up to date, it can be overwhelming. WDW is so huge, esp. if someone is comparing it to a Six Flags or even Disneyland. Communicate this to any newbies, or remind this to those who may not have been in the last couple of decades.

It is better to be open and up front now than to be resentful of this person while on the trip.

 

[kwdw]

I’d rethink a bit. Just say “ too many folks have been providing input into plans, so let’s just do this instead”. And then plan a handful of all group things. No exact touring plans. Let folks work it out for themselves. Make sure everyone has each other phone numbers and can text each other.

 

[rdaky]

An honest outsiders opinion: this trip sounds like a disaster for everyone involved. It sounds like something that will have a lot of unmet expectations and hurt feelings. Imagine being the person people are whispering about slowing them down. That has to be rough for her. She can't keep up with your plans and your speed, so she's not welcome to hang out with you unless she can keep up with YOUR pace. Why plan the trip at all if you just want to provide hotel space and not actually hang out with them during the day?

Large family vacations are really complicated. We used to do them every year and we stopped because as the families grew, it became too difficult to meet everyone's needs and wants and every trip resulted in arguing or crying by adults.

It sounds like you're pretty solid on your own plans on how you want your trip to go. I just think when you lack flexibility or willingness to change or slow your plans, you probably should not have planned a big family trip but a smaller trip with just the 7 year old.

 

[disney-inspired]

From experience, moving in larger groups slows you down even if you are in a 'fast' group.

When we traveled with extended family, we made some plans each day to do together - ride, restaurant or pool time - and the rest of the time everyone was free to do what they wanted. So if you have something set up to 'regroup' it will help you all feel connected. But this is a $$ vacation, even with you covering the hotel, so I wouldn't want someone to feel like they are being forced to follow a plan they don't find enjoyable.

I would recommend reiterating what the game plan is and the time frames. Things will change so everyone has to be flexible. Everyone has phones so if someone misses the meet up time, they can text or call to find out where everyone is.

I agree that an ecv would benefit anyone who cannot keep up physically.

I hope it all goes well for you.

 

[disney-inspired]

I’d rethink a bit. Just say “ too many folks have been providing input into plans, so let’s just do this instead”. And then plan a handful of all group things. No exact touring plans. Let folks work it out for themselves. Make sure everyone has each other phone numbers and can text each other.

This! The less plans, the better.

 

[jo-jo]

You talk of the fast group plans. Is there a slow group plan? Do they ever meet. Fast group does rides A thru E. Slow does rides A thru C and then everyone meets up to see show and stop for lunch and separates again.

Perhaps this person is seeing the fast group as the fun group and the slow group as the boring group.

But I understand there are some who feel time is a general guideline and not a fixed point.

 

[jtopp]

Lots of good points here, trying to integrate a variety of individual personalities into on vacation. First off, are you taking into account that the 7 year old may not be the rope drop ride fan. Also, a mobility device for your less mobile family member may be a good option. I hope you have a great trip, and that you are successful in blending all of your guests into an enjoyable vacation. My experience is that it is harder then you think to make everyone happy.

 

[_19disnA]

Everyone has their own idea of how to enjoy Disney, there is no single way to do it and none of them are 'right' or 'wrong' doing whatever they enjoy. I think it is a mistake to plan someone else's vacation especially at a place like Disney. You indicated the group is large but didn't give an exact number. I don't think it will work to expect all 10 people (for example) to follow the lead of someone else at every park. That isn't realistic and most will be left doing what the leader wants to do. Your idea of how to enjoy Disney may not be what others enjoy. When we went to Disney with 2 others families we all discussed ahead of time what we wanted to do and made it clear that everyone was not expected to always do the same things. Sometimes we split up to do various things we wanted to do and it all worked out fine.

I think it is a mistake to try to plan for what everyone wants to do. Perhaps schedule a few dinners and let everyone know they are welcome time/place/etc. You also didn't say if these others have ever been to Disney or are all frequent visitors. Makes a difference since if you haven't been there before, you really have no idea how large and spread out everything is and the MILES of walking it involves. If everyone has been to Disney previously, they probably already have some idea of which parks they prefer, where things are and what they enjoy doing.

Even if you all want to go MK one day, some may want to do rides, others do shows, others shop or just walk around. It is unrealistic to think everyone will always want to do the same things. Let each family decide for themselves what they plan to do and when. I think your vacation will be far more successful when you let others do their own planning and not try to develop an itinerary for everyone else.

 

[qv09vvp]

Hi Thanks everyone . Opinions seem to be across the board which is why this is such a complex point .

To clarify , there are actually 4 different groups that will tour in their own way. Complete freedom to all to join a particular group, move from group to group or make their own way I have been very clear , even providing examples of how many miles we put in a day. This conversation has been had on at Least 3 separate occassions We cannot and do not plan on spending every moment together as it would be a nightmare as too many ages/personalities etc. However there will be daily opportunities to meet up at various meals or activities so no worries that anyone will be left out .

I think I misled y'all My issue is the one person that seems to be insisting on being in the fast touring / prioritize ride group. This will be mainly the 20 year olds Group and the 7 year old. If rhe 7 year old tires out, his parents will be able to take him back to the resort. My own children will be in fast group and they are Disney pros. I don't even try to keep up with them My concern, and theirs is the one cousin that wants to go with them but will not be able to keep up . I get where they are coming from as they are all younger and except the cousin insisting on going with them is 65 and not physically able too. I can't figure out how to get that across to the 1 person as all factors have been pointed out .... I will try another honest conversation and report back

 

[jo-jo]

Will the fast group be doing G+? I’d say let it be clear, this IS the plan. Doing xyz, leaving resorts at 7:15, not waiting. tryingto get ABC before 10 am.

perhaps the person seeing on paper will make a difference?