Self aware of limitations

[rdaky]

Why do you think the 65 year old wants to go with the 20s group? Does it sound more fun? Are they wanting to see the joy in the youngest one?

Again, this kind of craziness is why we no longer do extended family vacations.

 

[lanejudy]

Same question as above -- why would a 65 yr old want to hang out with the 20-something crowd? It kind of sounds like either this individual has some difficulty with comprehension, or there is some other aspect triggering their desire. Posted word on a website page or group texts or written discussions may not be the best mode of communication for this individual. If they live with anyone else from the larger family group like a spouse or children, I would solicit that person to help. Otherwise, a direct 1:1 conversation, preferably in-person but phone may be acceptable, is probably the best solution. INVITE her (him? I don't recall) to join YOUR group instead. If they are a singleton without immediate family (spouse, children, etc.), they may welcome the invitation to join others.

 

[sk!mom]

I think you’re worrying too much. I’d plan the things that we were going to do together and then let everyone make their own way. If the 65 year old goes with what you call “the fast group,” so be it. She’ll keep up or drop back if they are too exhausting. She’s an adult. She can make her own decisions.

Honestly, it seems to me that you’re trying to control too much- group people, decide who can keep up and who cannot, etc…

Also, I’m confused about why travel together if people don’t want to be together.

 

[disney-inspired]

Hi Thanks everyone . Opinions seem to be across the board which is why this is such a complex point .

To clarify , there are actually 4 different groups that will tour in their own way. Complete freedom to all to join a particular group, move from group to group or make their own way I have been very clear , even providing examples of how many miles we put in a day. This conversation has been had on at Least 3 separate occassions We cannot and do not plan on spending every moment together as it would be a nightmare as too many ages/personalities etc. However there will be daily opportunities to meet up at various meals or activities so no worries that anyone will be left out .

I think I misled y'all My issue is the one person that seems to be insisting on being in the fast touring / prioritize ride group. This will be mainly the 20 year olds Group and the 7 year old. If rhe 7 year old tires out, his parents will be able to take him back to the resort. My own children will be in fast group and they are Disney pros. I don't even try to keep up with them My concern, and theirs is the one cousin that wants to go with them but will not be able to keep up . I get where they are coming from as they are all younger and except the cousin insisting on going with them is 65 and not physically able too. I can't figure out how to get that across to the 1 person as all factors have been pointed out .... I will try another honest conversation and report back

Time will tell. As long as they aren't expecting people to wait up for them, the older person will quickly realize the physical demands and hopefully adjust their expectations and attitude.

I think you’re worrying too much. I’d plan the things that we were going to do together and then let everyone make their own way. If the 65 year old goes with what you call “the fast group,” so be it. She’ll keep up or drop back if they are too exhausting. She’s an adult. She can make her own decisions.

Honestly, it seems to me that you’re trying to control too much- group people, decide who can keep up and who cannot, etc…

Also, I’m confused about why travel together if people don’t want to be together.

I don't think she's trying to control things but trying to prevent a falling out during or after the trips. I think it's reasonable to want everyone to have realistic expectations before a trip.

She also clarified that they will be together just not all the time. I often travel with my family but doesn't mean we have to be attached at the hip to enjoy the trip or each other.

 

[sk!mom]

Time will tell. As long as they aren't expecting people to wait up for them, the older person will quickly realize the physical demands and hopefully adjust their expectations and attitude.


I don't think she's trying to control things but trying to prevent a falling out during or after the trips. I think it's reasonable to want everyone to have realistic expectations before a trip.

She also clarified that they will be together just not all the time. I often travel with my family but doesn't mean we have to be attached at the hip to enjoy the trip or each other.

I have also been on group trips to both Disney and other places. We, also, didn’t plan to spend every minute together but I, also, wouldn’t travel with someone and then tell them that they couldn’t join a grouping because they might hold them back.

I’ll stand by my advice. Make the basic plan and then let adults manage themselves.

 

[jo-jo]

I think you’re worrying too much. I’d plan the things that we were going to do together and then let everyone make their own way. If the 65 year old goes with what you call “the fast group,” so be it. She’ll keep up or drop back if they are too exhausting. She’s an adult. She can make her own decisions.

Honestly, it seems to me that you’re trying to control too much- group people, decide who can keep up and who cannot, etc…

Also, I’m confused about why travel together if people don’t want to be together.

Perhaps OP is concerned the 20 somethings will feel the polite thing to do is slow down a bit, while really being ticked off that she came.

I think someone said something about wanting to see the 7 year old. Yeah, that the reason we have taken grand kids a few times, but we do few hours with us ( grandma and grandpa) and then they go off on their own.

Last family trip (2 years ago) a couple of days DH didn't even leave the resort, but he still saw the kids at the pool or watching animals (kidani).

 

[Fitzwoman27]

I am 65 and overweight 14/16. For years I was pushed by my family in wheelchair when we went to Disney between arthitis and knee problems. I always wanted to see and hear , my 20 something kids , talk about rides and experiences but I did go on most of the rides. My family grew up on Disney , 30 times since 1985, even Disneyland and tokyo.
last year I was blessed to have walkedDisney , the way I used to. Rushing through the parks from ride to ride. It was a god send. Disney is for family, when you get there, everyone should sit and talk and support each other.
last years trip was a celebration of life for someone who we planned on going with in 2020 when Covid hit & , who died in 2020 before being able to go. You never know what tomorrow brings.

good luck & have fun

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Good for you, Fitzwoman27

 

[starlite_]

I think I misled y'all My issue is the one person that seems to be insisting on being in the fast touring / prioritize ride group. This will be mainly the 20 year olds Group and the 7 year old. If rhe 7 year old tires out, his parents will be able to take him back to the resort. My own children will be in fast group and they are Disney pros. I don't even try to keep up with them My concern, and theirs is the one cousin that wants to go with them but will not be able to keep up . I get where they are coming from as they are all younger and except the cousin insisting on going with them is 65 and not physically able too. I can't figure out how to get that across to the 1 person as all factors have been pointed out .... I will try another honest conversation and report back

Uff, I get where they are coming from. Maybe instead of calling it the fast group call it the kids group or something. Make it clear that the kids (yes I know they are in their 20s, we are all kids in our parents/grandparents eyes) want to hang out on their own.

This is gonna sound harsh, but if I was going with the expectation of moving park commando style I would not want to be slowing down for a cousin 3 generations older than me that I might not even know well. (Which is what I understand from your posts) It's gonna end up with the younger crowd annoyed and the 65yo feeling unwanted.

Save everyone the trouble and just talk to her, maybe inviting her to hang out with her cousins from her own generation to catch up and bond all together will help persuade her away from the young group?

 

[qv09vvp]

Thank you everyone. I think we are all clear now. Appreciate your help and advice .

 

[Dakota731]

I wonder since you have DVC and seem to go to WDW often, then maybe this trip can be more about family and less about rides. I still remember with fondness some of the extended family trips I did as a child, and it’s the fun with cousins and aunts and uncles I cherish not the logistics of the vacation.

 

[Dakota731]

Same question as above -- why would a 65 yr old want to hang out with the 20-something crowd? It kind of sounds like either this individual has some difficulty with comprehension, or there is some other aspect triggering their desire. Posted word on a website page or group texts or written discussions may not be the best mode of communication for this individual. If they live with anyone else from the larger family group like a spouse or children, I would solicit that person to help. Otherwise, a direct 1:1 conversation, preferably in-person but phone may be acceptable, is probably the best solution. INVITE her (him? I don't recall) to join YOUR group instead. If they are a singleton without immediate family (spouse, children, etc.), they may welcome the invitation to join others.

Maybe it’s family she hasn’t seen for awhile - nieces, nephews, grands etc. Perhaps she saw this trip as a way to catch up and enjoy the kids. I know for my mom it’s all about the children. They being such joy and energy to any get together, and it makes Mom so happy to be included in any event that includes the young ones!

 

[ralphie]

Just completed a multi-age family trip. We are 74 and 76, go to Disneyworld alone twice or more per year. We do what we like and totally enjoy watching others do their thing and join in when we like. We're not dead yet! We tell others we'll catch up, not to worry about us!!

 

[IndyToThere]

We've done a few trips with various friends or family members that move at various paces. We stress ahead of time that nobody should feel obligated to all stick together and have to do everything together as one big group. What usually ends up happening is the slower pace people tend to branch off on their own after the second day while the commando group does all the things, moves quicker. We meet back up from time-to-time at various areas in the parks, meet for dinners, etc.

I should also mention that everyone has their own priorities in the moment - some want to just ride rides, some want to take pictures with characters, some want to look at storefronts/decorations, etc. If you try to keep a large group together the whole time, you end up forcing everyone to miss out on some of the things they want to do because someone else wants to do something else. By splitting up, you give more people a chance to do their things. Meeting back up periodically is a good way to stay connected and avoid frustrating people at the same time.