Spanking

[ronandannette]

I would rather see a patent spank a child than hear the way I have heard some speak to a child. Cussing at a kid, calling them names or the "you ruin everything" makes me want to just sit down and hug the child.

A couple of smacks on the butt and a "knock it off" would go a lot further and wouldn't make that light go out in their eyes. (Makes me want to cry when I see that).

I’d “like” this post twice if I could.

 

[aprilgail]

I would rather see a patent spank a child than hear the way I have heard some speak to a child. Cussing at a kid, calling them names or the "you ruin everything" makes me want to just sit down and hug the child.

The worst is " I wish I never had you"- I was near a woman that said that to a boy in my daughters grade school- every time I saw that child from then on I would feel horrible for him.
If my daughter was on line with me at Disney and someone was hitting their child she would have been horrified.

 

[Klayfish]

Edited: You know, the more I think of it, the more I realize that my way of handling a child-rearing situation is grounded very strongly in my understanding of operant conditioning. Taking away the chance for something desireable (a ride) is just as strong a deterrent (if not stronger) than a physical punishment. I know this from years of training animals (dogs, cats, horses, ferrets, guinea pigs, etc.), but not everyone was a psych/biology major like me. So, its probable that its not tht obvious to other people.

You realize how poorly this reads, right? Please, please tell me you don't think you're a smarter/better parent because you have a degree in psych/biology and have "trained" ferrets.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

You realize how poorly this reads, right? Please, please tell me you don't think you're a smarter/better parent because you have a degree in psych/biology and have "trained" ferrets.

No, I don't think that. I was corecting away my comments about things being 'obvious', because I acknowledge my world view is a little weird and probably counter-intuitive to most people. Do you think I'm claiming to be a better parent because I train my kid the same way I do my horses? Because I always assumed most people would find that a little disturbing.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

If I saw someone spank their child in public I would be secretly judging them, sure. I think that if one MUST spank their child to at least respect the child enough to do it in private... But like others have said, unless it crossed the line into abuse I wouldn't say anything.

ETA- And I said I would be judging them because I don't personally believe in that. I don't automatically think the parent is a bad person.

 

[sam_gordon]

I have no problem with a little bit of spanking. That being said, in line for HM is not the place to do it. If your kid is acting up that much at Disney World, the obvious first punishment is to take them out of the park. Alternatively, if you really don't want to mess up your park enjoyment time, the second obvious punishment option is to take them out of line. This is what I did at California Adventure last year when my daughter started having a meltdown. We were almost at the front of the line, but I left (with her screaming apologies) and took her to the nearest bathroom where we could both calm down.

No reason you should make other guests uncomfortable, either with your misbehaving child or your spanking of them.

Edited: You know, the more I think of it, the more I realize that my way of handling a child-rearing situation is grounded very strongly in my understanding of operant conditioning. Taking away the chance for something desireable (a ride) is just as strong a deterrent (if not stronger) than a physical punishment. I know this from years of training animals (dogs, cats, horses, ferrets, guinea pigs, etc.), but not everyone was a psych/biology major like me. So, its probable that its not tht obvious to other people.

Sounds like a great plan if you're 1:1. However what if it's a single adult with two kids? One on their best behavior and one being a brat? Does the "good" one have to suffer because of the other?

 

[Klayfish]

No, I don't think that. I was corecting away my comments about things being 'obvious', because I acknowledge my world view is a little weird and probably counter-intuitive to most people. Do you think I'm claiming to be a better parent because I train my kid the same way I do my horses? Because I always assumed most people would find that a little disturbing.

Got you, makes sense. It honestly just read a little funny. As to your question...

Well, if you ask your child what 2+2 is and they answer by swiping their foot on the ground 4 times and then you feed them a sugar cube, then yes...yes it is disturbing.

 

[luvsJack]

The worst is " I wish I never had you"- I was near a woman that said that to a boy in my daughters grade school- every time I saw that child from then on I would feel horrible for him.
If my daughter was on line with me at Disney and someone was hitting their child she would have been horrified.

Oh yes. I would be so hurt for that child. To be made to feel like you are nothing to your own parent has to be the worst feeling in the world. It just breaks my heart.

I don't like seeing someone spank their child but don't really have a problem with it (as long as it stays at a spanking of course).

 

[LSUmiss]

My opinion is probably unpopular, but I'm fine with spanking. As long as it doesn't cross over into physical abuse, I'm absolutely okay with it. If the kid was acting like a brat, I would rather the mother actually intervene and make her kid behave rather than let him act up and ruin the experience for others.


Actually, there has been a pretty big uptick in the number of calls made to law enforcement because parents can't control their children (where we live of course, can't speak to other areas but I'm assuming the same). Officers have to respond to calls from parents in order to stop their 6, 7, 8 year old from punching their mom/dad, refusing to go to school, throwing rocks at passing cars, etc. Maybe a couple of spankings when the pattern started would have prevented the escalated behavior that makes calling the cops on your 2nd grader necessary. Just my thoughts.

I’m a SW & have seen those things with parents being unable to control their kids at a young age. But, in the cases I’ve seen, those parents were spanking. Control has nothing to do with spanking. Setting boundaries & consistory enforcing them is more effective.

 

[Hikergirl]

The parents who haven't read all the studies out there on the most effective discipline methods, or who don't have a psychology degree in early childhood development have to figure out what works for their kids. Parents with multiple kids may even find different methods work for each of their children.
I'd rather see a parent doing what they know works to discipline their kid, than just trying a single approach that gets them nowhere because somebody thinks it is more effective for every child, and then accept their child's behavior. If swatting your kid on the butt gets them to stop whatever it is their are doing, go for it and thank you for making your child behave in public.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I was just in a conversation with my boss and a coworker last week that went like this:

ME: When my kids were little, I would count to three and whatever I said I would do if I got to three, I would do. Taking a toy away, leaving somewhere fun, a spank on the rear....it only took once or twice for them to realize I. WAS.NOT.KIDDING.

COWORKER: well, I'm not going to hit my child.

ME: it' not about hitting, it's about meaning what you say and being consistent. You pick the punishment to fit whatever you believe in, the key is to be consistent.


.....About five minutes later in the conversation.....

COWORKER: We were at this shoe store and little junior started to run around. I picked him up and he got mad and grabbed my face, pinching it. I said "J, please let go of daddy's cheek" and he pinched harder. So I gave him to my wife. Next thing I know, I turned around and saw him slap her, right in the face! My wife was stunned.

ME: wow. So, you won't give your kid a spank on the butt if you get to three, but he's allowed to hit you and your wife?

COWORKER: Well, he's little and doesnt know better.

ME: True. Mine seemed to learn pretty quickly and I was never backhanded by a 3 year old, but Good Luck with that!

 

[mi*vida*loca]

My mother always told me to mind my own business when it comes to how others parent their kids. So that's what I would do.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am not going to go as far as to say one should never, ever, lay a hand on their child.
I believe that kids are different, and there are times when a parent needs to do what is necessary to get thru to their child and teach and discipline. I do not feel that children, by definition, are 'snowflakes'.

But, my guess, from what I see in the original post.
NO way, these sound like very ill-equipped, if not abusive parents, if this were the situation in public, in line, at WDW.

 

[Jennasis]

We were in line for Soarin' once, right behind a family of 4. mom, dad and two teenagers. The teens (brother and sister) were laughing and being goofy with each other. Not loud...just int those giggly whispery voices. Everything seemed fine. I had my back to them while talking to Dh, when suddenly DH turned white and his jaw dropped. Behind me had gotten very quiet and I could fell tension radiating from the family. DH nodded towards them and I turned around and the daughter was now leaning against the wall, silent with tears running down her face. Mom was right up in her ear hissing something at her. I have NO CLUE WHAT WAS BEING SAID.

DH pulled me closer and whispered that the mother had, with no provocation he could see, hauled off and slapped the teen daughter across the face. Others in line had seen it and now EVERYONE in line was tense and uncomfortable and silent as the grave. Poor kiddo. No clue what prompted the slap.

Another time we were in line at FEA watching a dad and his wife/gf berating their 5 year old son for ruining their trip. the kid was devastated. Begging, apologizing. The two of them were having none of it...something about having ruined his step-sisters trip. Step sister was about 2-3 years old and dolled up in her princess dress and makeup etc. The girlfriend was clearly his step-mother and kept telling the dad to call his ex-wife to come get the boy so he wouldn't be there to ruin the trip anymore. It was the most horrifying thing I've ever witnessed. The boy was crushed.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Jennasis, do I remember your story the story about the tiny boy being abused, from before.
WOW.....
That is just absolutely heartbreaking.... Seriously, could make me start to cry.....

 

[Jennasis]

Jennasis, do I remember your story the story about the tiny boy being abused, from before.
WOW.....
That is just absolutely heartbreaking.... Seriously, could make me start to cry.....

Yes. I'd have to go back to find when i first posted it and it was fresh in my mind but man it broke me that day. I couldn't believe what we were witnessing.

 

[luvsJack]

We were in line for Soarin' once, right behind a family of 4. mom, dad and two teenagers. The teens (brother and sister) were laughing and being goofy with each other. Not loud...just int those giggly whispery voices. Everything seemed fine. I had my back to them while talking to Dh, when suddenly DH turned white and his jaw dropped. Behind me had gotten very quiet and I could fell tension radiating from the family. DH nodded towards them and I turned around and the daughter was now leaning against the wall, silent with tears running down her face. Mom was right up in her ear hissing something at her. I have NO CLUE WHAT WAS BEING SAID.

DH pulled me closer and whispered that the mother had, with no provocation he could see, hauled off and slapped the teen daughter across the face. Others in line had seen it and now EVERYONE in line was tense and uncomfortable and silent as the grave. Poor kiddo. No clue what prompted the slap.

Another time we were in line at FEA watching a dad and his wife/gf berating their 5 year old son for ruining their trip. the kid was devastated. Begging, apologizing. The two of them were having none of it...something about having ruined his step-sisters trip. Step sister was about 2-3 years old and dolled up in her princess dress and makeup etc. The girlfriend was clearly his step-mother and kept telling the dad to call his ex-wife to come get the boy so he wouldn't be there to ruin the trip anymore. It was the most horrifying thing I've ever witnessed. The boy was crushed.

This two incidents would have had my blood boiling and my heart breaking. That is just unacceptable.

I think the person in the second scenario that is the lowest form of "parent" is the dad. That is HIS son and he should be there for his child no matter what even if it means making princess "mom" mad.

These are examples of abusive behavior not a swat on the butt. I don't get the assumption that if someone will spank their child in public they abuse them in private. I spanked my kids and if they were misbehaving in public, that's where they got the swats. No different than in private.

 

[mnrose]

I'm not a spanker. I'm not strongly opposed to it. Just never found it necessary.

However, if you must spank, I'd rather you do it privately rather than humiliate the child on top of the spanking.

 

[sam_gordon]

I do not feel that children, by definition, are 'snowflakes'.

umm... yes, I don't think the word "snowflake" shows up in a dictionary under "children". I do not feel antelopes, by definition, have "feathers>"

But, my guess, from what I see in the original post.
NO way, these sound like very ill-equipped, if not abusive parents, if this were the situation in public, in line, at WDW.

Really? Based solely on the OP, which flat out says they never spanked the kids, doesn't say what the parents said to get the child under control, are "very ill-equipped, if not abusive"?

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I'm not a spanker. I'm not strongly opposed to it. Just never found it necessary.

However, if you must spank, I'd rather you do it privately rather than humiliate the child on top of the spanking.

I agree. Although I am pretty opposed to it.

I didn't spank. And like others here, our son turned out to be a fine young man.

But if you feel the need to spank, please do it in private.