Actually, I said she sees her mom twice a month. Which is still not a lot. That may very well be part of the problem and she is in counseling to help deal with that. But that does not give her a free pass to hit DD, kick the cat, pee on her bedroom floor, draw on the floor, throw tantrums when she doesn't get her way, lie, and break any and all household rules she just doesn't feel like following.
DD11 is also a child of divorce and her biological father has actually been dead for the last 8 years. No one, and I mean no one, makes excuses for her behavior due to the fact that she never sees her father. It is always very interesting to me that in blended family situations the sympathy is ALWAYS given to the mans children but very little consideration is given to the womans children who are also stepkids who don't live with both parents. It's really boggling to me.