In a word.... control... he is trying to control you, what you think about, and what you talk about, what you buy and where you go...
Not good combination, in my opinion....
There are some pretty big red flags, and you might need to seek some type of professional help, therapist for yourself to figure out your true feelings are?, marriage counselors for you both...,
or
Lawyer - know what your rights are.... get ahead of it... and if it gets to this point, you need to be prepared, for the worst, so know what your asset's are, any type of stocks, or investments, 401K or retirement planning, what are your household bills, where does your money go...
Plus if you have kids you need to think long term for them, thing like college savings, health insurance, and such...
You stated that things haven't been going very well... So it would seem you already know that you need to square thing away... and things aren't right... Not saying that everything has to perfect all the time, just saying you seem to be looking for permission, or validation, to enjoy something you absolutely love... Disney ...
Life is short... You should be able to enjoy what you love...
Sending you a big ole
and much pixie dust