Another who has silently followed along on your journey, Rodeo. I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. There are no words. I hope it brings you a small measure of comfort to know that many are thinking of you and praying for your entire family.
How fast it all changed.
- Thread starter rodeo65
- Start date
mousefan73
Germans are faster at dubbing
- Joined
- May 9, 2012
I wish you and your kids peace. your husband has it now.
i hope this thread has been a shoulder to lean on. You did awesome in dealing with everything. I have been reading your thread these past few weeks and your husband was a lucky man. You did everything right in dealing with this. The next few weeks will be tough especially once you settle back at home. normal life which isn’t normal. you guys need to find your new normal now. it does get better.
i hope this thread has been a shoulder to lean on. You did awesome in dealing with everything. I have been reading your thread these past few weeks and your husband was a lucky man. You did everything right in dealing with this. The next few weeks will be tough especially once you settle back at home. normal life which isn’t normal. you guys need to find your new normal now. it does get better.
.
Pea-n-Me
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2004
Dear Rodeo. I am sad for you and your children, but I am glad for your husband, that his suffering is over. You should be able to take great comfort in knowing that he was at peace and that you were his staunchest advocate till the end. Don't fret about anything that happened or that you weren't there when he actually passed; you were there at the more important times and that's very likely how he wanted it. That time of being there with someone right after they pass is also special. I also believe their spirit is still there and seeing and hearing what's going on, even at that time (and I always act accordingly, as well).
Look for signs in the coming days that his spirit may try to send to you to let you know he heard you. Don't let anyone tell you it's silly, because its not, and it can bring comfort when it occurs. I also believe he will be watching over you all and helping with things when he can from wherever he is. The reason I say this is because I lost my father over thirty years ago and some of the things that have happened in that regard for me and our family are really amazing. In retrospect they've often occurred at times that were special, or when I was in need.
Because many here have also shared some pretty profound experiences in their own lives to help you cope, in light of this thread, I will too. I hope it helps. I have many to choose from.
Once when I was newly diagnosed with cancer myself, I'd picked an oncologist and had my first appointment set up, but I kept having nagging thoughts that it didn't feel right, and I didn't know why. Having learned over the years to pay attention to these things, I started looking through the list of numerous other oncologists. One stood out to me. So I called to make an appointment with her. I was told on the phone she wasn't taking new patients and that was that, the girl on the phone wouldn't budge. I was left with a devastated feeling in the pit of my stomach for several days, and I couldn't shake it. So I decided to call back and try to plead my case again. (Which is a gift I'd gotten from my father - my tenacity.) This time I got a kind woman on the phone and explained to her that for some reason I felt I really needed to see this doctor, and asked if she would she ask the doctor if she'd see me, whatever appointment she had, I'd take, etc. I was on hold for a few minutes, but when she came back, she told me the doctor said yes, and we made my first appointment. I felt a big sense of relief about it, even though at the time, I was quite anxious in general, as a mother with young children dealing with an aggressive cancer that I'd never expected at that time in my life, etc.
So treatment started with her, and several weeks went by, when a cousin of mine on my father's side arranged a get-together for three of us in the family that had had cancer, as sort of a little support group. On that side of the family, I am the youngest, and one of the other cousins there was the oldest; he and I didn't know eachother as he was an adult when I was born. We certainly were never in touch and lived quite a distance apart. He'd had a very serious type of cancer and things hadn't looked good for him for a while. Yet, he'd made it through, and here he was sharing his experiences with me. So lo and behold, he mentioned who his oncologist was, and I nearly
- yup, guess who - the doctor I was seeing! That would be so like my father to push me towards something because he thought, or in this case, knew, it was best!
Feelings and intuition count here, so always pay attention!
Another. I was always a little sad that my father had never known my children. I did try to keep his memory alive with them, though, by taking about him and sharing stories and pictures, etc. I felt there was somehow a closeness there, but still, I often wondered if his spirit knew them. And just as often I got signs that he did. Once when our children were young, we'd taken them to Coney Island. I was standing in a particular spot and suddenly had a flashback to being there with my family when I was young. Right at that moment I saw a twinkle on the ground, and there was a dime - and upon further inspecation, a penny! - right where we were standing. You hear about pennies from heaven, and honestly I never gave them much thought, but coins often did show up for us at significant moments - a lot. Another time I remember was when I was putting my twins on the bus for kindergarten for the first time. Same thing, I looked down, and two coins were right where we were standing waiting for the bus! Not convinced? Yeah, to me, it was a little hokey too. So, we'll take it one step further! (Yikes, I might be here all day writing these stories!)
You know how state governments have those "lost money" websites? Well again, a cousin on my father's side of the family let me know that he saw my father's name on the website, and that I should check it out. So I did. But it was a royal PIA trying to actually get at whatever it was, as I had to confirm my father's address on it, and I didn't actually know what it was, as it was from long before he'd lived in the house that his family had for years that I knew. But I persevered and somehow managed to get at this lost thing. Well it finally came in the mail, and turns out it was a very old insurance policy that his mother - my grandmother (who I always felt was my own guardian angel and had never actually met) - had taken out on my father when he was just ten years old - in 1929! Seeing this actual policy application, which was handwritten by my grandmother so long ago in fountain pen and ink, I was just truly amazed! The dates were right there on it. And as I looked at it, I realized something: my own children were ten years old right then, as well!
How bizarre was that, that something like this, with these types of details, should happen right at that very time? Something that had started 79 years earlier! And sure, it came with a few bucks, but seeing my grandmother's handwriting and the synchronicity of the policy being taken out when my father was ten, and my own children being ten then, meant much more to me. Priceless, as they say.
One more, for us Disney lovers. I had gone to a medium, primarily for entertainment. I certainly didn't expect to get a reading that night, as I was in a crowd of 150 or so people. And I'd gone to see someone else, but he had a guest with him, and allowed her to do some readings, for fun, so what happened to me was super unexpected. But anyway, this lady started saying some things about a man spirit coming through - the first of the night! - that hit home with me, and she asked that if it had significance to anyone, that they should please stand up. Reluctantly, I stood up. She kept up, and asked people to keep standing if what she was saying meant anything. Lots of people sat down. Till there were just a couple of us standing. Then she got real specific. One thing in particular that she said really blew me away, and still does to this day. But more and more, she kept going. She mentioned at one point that this person was a veteran. The other person standing said her father was a Vietnam veteran. This lady said, no, this is WWII, I am seeing the planes. My father was WWII. Ten or fifteen minutes went by and she just kept hitting home with thing after thing she said. But here's where it gets better. She told me, and this was directed right at me, that I'd be going to Hawaii. I said, no, that wasn't possible; that I was going to FL, but not Hawaii. She was adamant that no, it was Hawaii, as "this spirit was showing her leis being put around our necks". Hmm. She said, well, idk what it means, but that she'd leave me with that. Ok. On the way home we stopped for an ice cream and a lady who was in front of me in line with a small child turned around and started talking to me. I was a little dazed, thinking about all that had just occurred, so I wasn't paying a ton of attention to what she was saying, when all of a sudden she blurts out the date of her grandaughter's birthday. The date she mentioned was my father's birth date, too, so that did get my attention. It was like icing on the cake that night; a verification of sorts, Hearing his birthday out of the blue in the midst of my wondering if what I'd just experienced could actually be real, and of the 365 days in the year, she picks that one...
So months went by, that reading was in April. We had a WDW trip scheduled for September. In August, I got a call from Disney that there was going to be construction at the Contemporary Resort, where we were booked, so they were moving us over to the Polynesian and upgrading us to "Concierge Level" (as it was called at the time). I was furious, as I really wanted to stay at the CR, it was my birthday and yada, yada, yada. But nope, we had to move, they told us. And they assured us we'd love it there. After that phone call, I plopped in a chair, pulled out my Unofficial Guide, and started reading and learning about the Polynesian (as we were still relatively new to Disney at that time). The first lines said something to the effect of, "Disney does a wonderful job of transporting their guests to the South Seas of Hawaii".
Whoa. Then I learned that the building we'd be staying in was named the Hawaii building. Whoa. Moments ago Hawaii had no significance to me, but suddenly, it did! I was pretty floored. And the day we arrived to the Hawaii building on a golf cart, a man and woman in Hawaiian shirts were standing outside with leis to put around our necks! I was actually crying! Because I knew somehow this experience related to my father - he'd told me about it through that medium. And a beautiful experience it was. 
One of the best ever at Disney for us. And actually, it was just about the last totally carefree birthday I had because the next year, right around my birthday, I was diagnosed with cancer, so my life sort of changed after that, though every birthday I've had since is a gift.
I'm sorry this got so long-winded, I just wanted to try to show you, as a fellow mother, that even though your children's father is gone from this earth, I do believe spirits remain around us and will let us know that, often in very subtle ways, so teach your children to pay attention to these little happenings. It's not the same as his actually being there, obviously, but it should bring some comfort, and seeing the bigger picture means that his spirit is somewhere, and if that's so, that we can hope to meet up again in the future.
* If people think this is interesting and they want to learn more, there is a book called "When God Winks" that talks about how to recognize some of these things when they happen. Someone lent me the book during my cancer experience, and it was huge for me. If nothing else, it gets you thinking about it and helps open your mind to the possibilities, even if you aren't really sure what to believe.
Will be thinking about you and praying for your family over the next few days, Rodeo.
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
(And right now I am going to call my FIL to tell him about DS's game yesterday, cherishing the time he's got left and the fact that my kids have been fortunate enough to have one grandfather who loves them in their day to day lives. It's a beautiful gift we've all been given here on this thread as a reminder of just how precious every day is.
Love to all!)
Edit for grammar
Look for signs in the coming days that his spirit may try to send to you to let you know he heard you. Don't let anyone tell you it's silly, because its not, and it can bring comfort when it occurs. I also believe he will be watching over you all and helping with things when he can from wherever he is. The reason I say this is because I lost my father over thirty years ago and some of the things that have happened in that regard for me and our family are really amazing. In retrospect they've often occurred at times that were special, or when I was in need.
Because many here have also shared some pretty profound experiences in their own lives to help you cope, in light of this thread, I will too. I hope it helps. I have many to choose from.
Once when I was newly diagnosed with cancer myself, I'd picked an oncologist and had my first appointment set up, but I kept having nagging thoughts that it didn't feel right, and I didn't know why. Having learned over the years to pay attention to these things, I started looking through the list of numerous other oncologists. One stood out to me. So I called to make an appointment with her. I was told on the phone she wasn't taking new patients and that was that, the girl on the phone wouldn't budge. I was left with a devastated feeling in the pit of my stomach for several days, and I couldn't shake it. So I decided to call back and try to plead my case again. (Which is a gift I'd gotten from my father - my tenacity.) This time I got a kind woman on the phone and explained to her that for some reason I felt I really needed to see this doctor, and asked if she would she ask the doctor if she'd see me, whatever appointment she had, I'd take, etc. I was on hold for a few minutes, but when she came back, she told me the doctor said yes, and we made my first appointment. I felt a big sense of relief about it, even though at the time, I was quite anxious in general, as a mother with young children dealing with an aggressive cancer that I'd never expected at that time in my life, etc.
So treatment started with her, and several weeks went by, when a cousin of mine on my father's side arranged a get-together for three of us in the family that had had cancer, as sort of a little support group. On that side of the family, I am the youngest, and one of the other cousins there was the oldest; he and I didn't know eachother as he was an adult when I was born. We certainly were never in touch and lived quite a distance apart. He'd had a very serious type of cancer and things hadn't looked good for him for a while. Yet, he'd made it through, and here he was sharing his experiences with me. So lo and behold, he mentioned who his oncologist was, and I nearly
- yup, guess who - the doctor I was seeing! That would be so like my father to push me towards something because he thought, or in this case, knew, it was best!Feelings and intuition count here, so always pay attention!
Another. I was always a little sad that my father had never known my children. I did try to keep his memory alive with them, though, by taking about him and sharing stories and pictures, etc. I felt there was somehow a closeness there, but still, I often wondered if his spirit knew them. And just as often I got signs that he did. Once when our children were young, we'd taken them to Coney Island. I was standing in a particular spot and suddenly had a flashback to being there with my family when I was young. Right at that moment I saw a twinkle on the ground, and there was a dime - and upon further inspecation, a penny! - right where we were standing. You hear about pennies from heaven, and honestly I never gave them much thought, but coins often did show up for us at significant moments - a lot. Another time I remember was when I was putting my twins on the bus for kindergarten for the first time. Same thing, I looked down, and two coins were right where we were standing waiting for the bus! Not convinced? Yeah, to me, it was a little hokey too. So, we'll take it one step further! (Yikes, I might be here all day writing these stories!)
You know how state governments have those "lost money" websites? Well again, a cousin on my father's side of the family let me know that he saw my father's name on the website, and that I should check it out. So I did. But it was a royal PIA trying to actually get at whatever it was, as I had to confirm my father's address on it, and I didn't actually know what it was, as it was from long before he'd lived in the house that his family had for years that I knew. But I persevered and somehow managed to get at this lost thing. Well it finally came in the mail, and turns out it was a very old insurance policy that his mother - my grandmother (who I always felt was my own guardian angel and had never actually met) - had taken out on my father when he was just ten years old - in 1929! Seeing this actual policy application, which was handwritten by my grandmother so long ago in fountain pen and ink, I was just truly amazed! The dates were right there on it. And as I looked at it, I realized something: my own children were ten years old right then, as well!
How bizarre was that, that something like this, with these types of details, should happen right at that very time? Something that had started 79 years earlier! And sure, it came with a few bucks, but seeing my grandmother's handwriting and the synchronicity of the policy being taken out when my father was ten, and my own children being ten then, meant much more to me. Priceless, as they say.One more, for us Disney lovers. I had gone to a medium, primarily for entertainment. I certainly didn't expect to get a reading that night, as I was in a crowd of 150 or so people. And I'd gone to see someone else, but he had a guest with him, and allowed her to do some readings, for fun, so what happened to me was super unexpected. But anyway, this lady started saying some things about a man spirit coming through - the first of the night! - that hit home with me, and she asked that if it had significance to anyone, that they should please stand up. Reluctantly, I stood up. She kept up, and asked people to keep standing if what she was saying meant anything. Lots of people sat down. Till there were just a couple of us standing. Then she got real specific. One thing in particular that she said really blew me away, and still does to this day. But more and more, she kept going. She mentioned at one point that this person was a veteran. The other person standing said her father was a Vietnam veteran. This lady said, no, this is WWII, I am seeing the planes. My father was WWII. Ten or fifteen minutes went by and she just kept hitting home with thing after thing she said. But here's where it gets better. She told me, and this was directed right at me, that I'd be going to Hawaii. I said, no, that wasn't possible; that I was going to FL, but not Hawaii. She was adamant that no, it was Hawaii, as "this spirit was showing her leis being put around our necks". Hmm. She said, well, idk what it means, but that she'd leave me with that. Ok. On the way home we stopped for an ice cream and a lady who was in front of me in line with a small child turned around and started talking to me. I was a little dazed, thinking about all that had just occurred, so I wasn't paying a ton of attention to what she was saying, when all of a sudden she blurts out the date of her grandaughter's birthday. The date she mentioned was my father's birth date, too, so that did get my attention. It was like icing on the cake that night; a verification of sorts, Hearing his birthday out of the blue in the midst of my wondering if what I'd just experienced could actually be real, and of the 365 days in the year, she picks that one...
So months went by, that reading was in April. We had a WDW trip scheduled for September. In August, I got a call from Disney that there was going to be construction at the Contemporary Resort, where we were booked, so they were moving us over to the Polynesian and upgrading us to "Concierge Level" (as it was called at the time). I was furious, as I really wanted to stay at the CR, it was my birthday and yada, yada, yada. But nope, we had to move, they told us. And they assured us we'd love it there. After that phone call, I plopped in a chair, pulled out my Unofficial Guide, and started reading and learning about the Polynesian (as we were still relatively new to Disney at that time). The first lines said something to the effect of, "Disney does a wonderful job of transporting their guests to the South Seas of Hawaii".
Whoa. Then I learned that the building we'd be staying in was named the Hawaii building. Whoa. Moments ago Hawaii had no significance to me, but suddenly, it did! I was pretty floored. And the day we arrived to the Hawaii building on a golf cart, a man and woman in Hawaiian shirts were standing outside with leis to put around our necks! I was actually crying! Because I knew somehow this experience related to my father - he'd told me about it through that medium. And a beautiful experience it was. One of the best ever at Disney for us. And actually, it was just about the last totally carefree birthday I had because the next year, right around my birthday, I was diagnosed with cancer, so my life sort of changed after that, though every birthday I've had since is a gift.I'm sorry this got so long-winded, I just wanted to try to show you, as a fellow mother, that even though your children's father is gone from this earth, I do believe spirits remain around us and will let us know that, often in very subtle ways, so teach your children to pay attention to these little happenings. It's not the same as his actually being there, obviously, but it should bring some comfort, and seeing the bigger picture means that his spirit is somewhere, and if that's so, that we can hope to meet up again in the future.
* If people think this is interesting and they want to learn more, there is a book called "When God Winks" that talks about how to recognize some of these things when they happen. Someone lent me the book during my cancer experience, and it was huge for me. If nothing else, it gets you thinking about it and helps open your mind to the possibilities, even if you aren't really sure what to believe.
Will be thinking about you and praying for your family over the next few days, Rodeo.
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
(And right now I am going to call my FIL to tell him about DS's game yesterday, cherishing the time he's got left and the fact that my kids have been fortunate enough to have one grandfather who loves them in their day to day lives. It's a beautiful gift we've all been given here on this thread as a reminder of just how precious every day is.
Love to all!)
Edit for grammar
Last edited:
chicagodisneyfan
Peace
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2000
My deepest sympathies to you and your family at this time.
TeresaBelle
<font color=magenta>Still sleeps with a security b
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2005
Prayers going up for you and your family, Rodeo! Rest in peace, T-Bone! 
hopemax
Note to Self:
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2000
Like everyone else has expressed, there are no words, but I am so sorry for your loss.
One last little bit of advice. After losing my Mom, every decision became hard. What do you want for dinner? An impossible decision, my brain seemed like it would just stop functioning. Remembering anything was ridiculous. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to lose your life partner. So the advice, if something needs to get done, write it down. The priorities will find a way, somehow, the rest, who cares.
And ice cream for dinner or cake for breakfast are perfectly acceptable.
One last little bit of advice. After losing my Mom, every decision became hard. What do you want for dinner? An impossible decision, my brain seemed like it would just stop functioning. Remembering anything was ridiculous. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to lose your life partner. So the advice, if something needs to get done, write it down. The priorities will find a way, somehow, the rest, who cares.
And ice cream for dinner or cake for breakfast are perfectly acceptable.
Last edited:
leebee
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Sep 14, 1999
Ah, Rodeo... I am so, so sorry. Please accept my condolences and love at the loss of your dear husband. Through all of this, you have shown a grace and strength that I could only hope to possess in times of struggle. I know that none of my words can take away your loss in the face of this terrible tragedy, but know that your husband is at peace now, no longer confused by his condition, agitated, or in pain. He is soaring with the angels and the butterflies, watching over you all. Remember that we are all still here for you, sending hugs and support. Again, I am so sorry. 
TavieP
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2012
All the love and strength to you all during this hardest of times. You all managed with strength and grace, you and your children, and your beloved husband/their beloved father left knowing the deep, strong and eternal love of his family. He can rest peacefully, free from pain, and I believe what you say is true and that his spirit listened to your DD and heard her. He knew. He did.
I'm so proud of you all and so terribly sorry. I wish you healing and comfort. You've done very, very well.
I'm so proud of you all and so terribly sorry. I wish you healing and comfort. You've done very, very well.
TavieP
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2012
I was also restless last night, around the same time - had gone to bed, sleepy and ready to drop, but found myself tossing and turning just about the same time.
We're all connected, I really believe it. You and your family are in all of our hearts, Rodeo.
luvflorida
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2003
So very sorry for the loss of your husband. My deepest sympathies to you and your precious children. All of you have shown such bravery, grace and strength throughout this short journey. My heart goes out to you and your family, and I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
disneyeveryyear
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2003
Rodeo, I have been checking this thread a couple of times a day dreading that I would read this post, and here it is and it brought me to tears.
We stayed in the room with my DM after she passed for about 5 hours. My DS was three hours away at college and he also wanted a chance to see his DGM, so we all sat and waited. The nurse told us to talk and sing and tell stories because her soul would hang around for a while. I am sure she stayed there until my DS could get there. They were so close. So the rest of us sat and told stories and laughed and cried until he could get there for his final goodbye. My DD (who was 17 at the time) did not want to come to the hospital and see her DGM that way, and that was okay too. Everyone is different.
I hope your children were able to find some closure with that final time with their dad.
As the PP said, I often find dimes from my mom when I most need her.
God bless and keep you in his loving arms.
We stayed in the room with my DM after she passed for about 5 hours. My DS was three hours away at college and he also wanted a chance to see his DGM, so we all sat and waited. The nurse told us to talk and sing and tell stories because her soul would hang around for a while. I am sure she stayed there until my DS could get there. They were so close. So the rest of us sat and told stories and laughed and cried until he could get there for his final goodbye. My DD (who was 17 at the time) did not want to come to the hospital and see her DGM that way, and that was okay too. Everyone is different.
I hope your children were able to find some closure with that final time with their dad.
As the PP said, I often find dimes from my mom when I most need her.
God bless and keep you in his loving arms.
flyingdumbo127
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2014
Many hugs and condolences dear Rodeo. I love how others have said we are all connected now. We are indeed through Christ Jesus Who brought us altogether to grow in love and I pray offer comfort and support to you. I pray for peace for you and your kids as forever your beloved husband is at peace n the Arms of God. Please know all of us on here, are here, for you, we need to hear from you. God Bless You!
disneyhand
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
I'm so sorry for your loss Rodeo. I wish peace and comfort for you and your family. I've followed this thread from the beginning and hope you will keep posting here
minniecarousel
Chris Isaak fan
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2000
I’m so sad for you & your children. You have my sympathy.
I don’t know what else to say.
I don’t know what else to say.
AnnaFloridaLover
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2015
Rodeo, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for letting us share this journey with you. We are all heartbroken for you and your children but also so proud how you all handled this experience. Our thoughts are with you today, and we will continue to be here for you anytime. Big hugs for you and the kids.
Someluck
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2015
Rodeo, I am so sorry for your loss and sending thoughts of love and peace to you and your family.
You have shared a powerful story of love and loss that touched many people's hearts. Thank you sharing your family's journey...it reminds us all to cherish every moment we have together with those we love.
You have shared a powerful story of love and loss that touched many people's hearts. Thank you sharing your family's journey...it reminds us all to cherish every moment we have together with those we love.
OhMari
WDW PreTrip and Trip Moderator
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2000
So sorry. I followed along with your journey, but I never posted, since I did not want to burden you my postings, since I was just a member of the DIS community. You made it all so real for us, which is was for you and made us all realize it can happen to any of us at any given moment. Bless you Rodeo and your family-this was the most heart breaking thread that I have ever read on the DIS. I hope you found some comfort by sharing this journey with all of us-it had to be really hard.
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