Debt Dumpers - 2018

[Jen and Ashwin]

Yesterday I got a call from daycare to come and pick up DD because she was sick. DH and I had carpooled yesterday, so we both had to leave at 2:30pm. Because she has been having issues with ear infections, we decided to take her to the pediatricians to be sure her ears weren't so bad that we needed to start an antibiotic. The ENT had told us not to do the antibiotic unless she seemed really uncomfortable because she might need to be treated yet again after her surgery and they don't want kids on antibiotics too often. Her ears were actually looking pretty good with the exception of a some fluid. And since we were already there, DD got her flu shot and I rescheduled her 12 month checkup to 2 days after her surgery instead of the day of the surgery.

And I learned that starting on Sept. 1, they added 6 weeks of paid paternity leave for all employees. So that means women can take 6 weeks of paid medical leave after birth, plus an additional 6 weeks of paid paternal leave. And men can take 6 weeks of paid paternal leave. How useful that would have been for us 10 months ago when things were so stressful and DH was using up all of his sick leave to take care of me and DD. And for me not to have had to save up 6 weeks worth of vacation time so that I could extend my leave to 3 months. I guess we will have that benefit the next time at least.

Which brings me to the next item. Open enrollment is at the end of October and so we need to decide what we want to take out for our FSA. We definitely could have used more money in there this year given all of the issues with mine and DD's health. And we also need to decide if we are planning to try another implantation towards the end of next year to try for baby #2. That would mean that we would have to cover 20% of the costs, which would probably be somewhere in the $500-$1000 range. The thought of being pregnant again, with the nausea and heartburn, doesn't thrill me. But our plan has always been for two kids and I don't want them to be too far apart or for me to be a ton older. So serious discussions have to be had and decisions need to be made soon.

 

[Tygerlilly]

Yesterday I got a call from daycare to come and pick up DD because she was sick. DH and I had carpooled yesterday, so we both had to leave at 2:30pm. Because she has been having issues with ear infections, we decided to take her to the pediatricians to be sure her ears weren't so bad that we needed to start an antibiotic. The ENT had told us not to do the antibiotic unless she seemed really uncomfortable because she might need to be treated yet again after her surgery and they don't want kids on antibiotics too often. Her ears were actually looking pretty good with the exception of a some fluid. And since we were already there, DD got her flu shot and I rescheduled her 12 month checkup to 2 days after her surgery instead of the day of the surgery.

And I learned that starting on Sept. 1, they added 6 weeks of paid paternity leave for all employees. So that means women can take 6 weeks of paid medical leave after birth, plus an additional 6 weeks of paid paternal leave. And men can take 6 weeks of paid paternal leave. How useful that would have been for us 10 months ago when things were so stressful and DH was using up all of his sick leave to take care of me and DD. And for me not to have had to save up 6 weeks worth of vacation time so that I could extend my leave to 3 months. I guess we will have that benefit the next time at least.

Which brings me to the next item. Open enrollment is at the end of October and so we need to decide what we want to take out for our FSA. We definitely could have used more money in there this year given all of the issues with mine and DD's health. And we also need to decide if we are planning to try another implantation towards the end of next year to try for baby #2. That would mean that we would have to cover 20% of the costs, which would probably be somewhere in the $500-$1000 range. The thought of being pregnant again, with the nausea and heartburn, doesn't thrill me. But our plan has always been for two kids and I don't want them to be too far apart or for me to be a ton older. So serious discussions have to be had and decisions need to be made soon.

Our youngest was born in April last year. In October work announced that moms were getting 3 months full paid time off in addition to the 12 weeks of fmla and dads and adoptive parents were getting 6 weeks full paid time off in addition to fmla starting this year. DF only took off one week and I could only afford a little over a month off. It sucked so bad, but we were in such a bad financial spot at that point we had no choice. It would have made such a difference had we had those extra paid days! Too bad there's no more babies for this house.

I also don't miss being pregnant one bit. Or the newborn stage to be honest. I'm so glad to not have a million different pieces of baby gear all over the place. Our girls are 17 months apart and I wouldn't have that any other way.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Our youngest was born in April last year. In October work announced that moms were getting 3 months full paid time off in addition to the 12 weeks of fmla and dads and adoptive parents were getting 6 weeks full paid time off in addition to fmla starting this year. DF only took off one week and I could only afford a little over a month off. It sucked so bad, but we were in such a bad financial spot at that point we had no choice. It would have made such a difference had we had those extra paid days! Too bad there's no more babies for this house.

I also don't miss being pregnant one bit. Or the newborn stage to be honest. I'm so glad to not have a million different pieces of baby gear all over the place. Our girls are 17 months apart and I wouldn't have that any other way.

DH only took a week off as well. But over the next few months, he ended up using another 9 days of sick leave for family care. Thankful that his sick leave just rebooted at the start of September so that he can take a day off when DD has surgery in October. Mine will have also rebooted and so I plan to take 3 days so that DD doesn't have to go back to daycare right away.

 

[imbatman]

I also don't miss being pregnant one bit. Or the newborn stage to be honest.

Had an acquaintance post a pic of his cute and chubby 6 month old. He and I are mid-40's. That is his first. I get exhausted thinking about that!

 

[Tygerlilly]

Had an acquaintance post a pic of his cute and chubby 6 month old. He and I are mid-40's. That is his first. I get exhausted thinking about that!

Haha. DF is 47 and I'll be 33 next month. He also has a 23 year old from his first marriage. We definitely aren't going to be the young parents at graduation.

 

[FQLover]

I am 43 years older than my DD, and I did have the energy back then because I was just so darn thrilled to be a mom after 5 years of saving for and working on an adoption plan. She was a little baby and I coped pretty well with the tasks involved which included 66 visits with an Early Intervention physical therapist because of her delays. I was able to choose between having a full semester off at half pay or work half time that semester and get full pay. I chose the latter and was very grateful to my employer for offering it.

Flash forward 17 years and I am definitely an old and creaky mom with bad knees. Hauling myself up the bleachers to watch her play in the band at football games is not a pretty sight. But last night, I watched her get crowned Homecoming Queen at halftime, and I screamed and shouted like someone much younger. I am guessing that I will be the oldest parent at graduation in June. Oh, well. Someone has to be, right?

Sometimes we get a real say in when we will have our children and sometimes we don't. But it is still pretty awesome even when it is not ideal!

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

I am 43 years older than my DD, and I did have the energy back then because I was just so darn thrilled to be a mom after 5 years of saving for and working on an adoption plan. She was a little baby and I coped pretty well with the tasks involved which included 66 visits with an Early Intervention physical therapist because of her delays. I was able to choose between having a full semester off at half pay or work half time that semester and get full pay. I chose the latter and was very grateful to my employer for offering it.

Flash forward 17 years and I am definitely an old and creaky mom with bad knees. Hauling myself up the bleachers to watch her play in the band at football games is not a pretty sight. But last night, I watched her get crowned Homecoming Queen at halftime, and I screamed and shouted like someone much younger. I am guessing that I will be the oldest parent at graduation in June. Oh, well. Someone has to be, right?

Sometimes we get a real say in when we will have our children and sometimes we don't. But it is still pretty awesome even when it is not ideal!

My best friend in high school had much older parents. Her dad was 77 at graduation. So don't worry about it. You might not actually be the oldest parent, you just might not realize that the person is a parent and not a grandparent.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

How was that cruise!? Still on my bucket list, the Disney Cruise. Glad SW gave you vouchers!

Seems like some folks on here are doing great with using UR points for travel and hotels. This is my fail category, and I want that companion pass but I’m not going to make it, I just don’t have much to put on the card before December 31 to get it!

The cruise was wonderful, very relaxing. We had some rain but plenty of sun too. I never get tired of being on a Disney ship.


We normally would never earn enough SW pts to qualify for a companion pass but last summer I read on doctorofcredit.com (my source for bank bonus info) about the SW visa offering 60,000 pts for a sign up bonus for all 3 of their cards. People said they signed up for 2 of the cards on the same day and were approved for both, but it only counts on credit reports as 1 inquiry. (1 of the 3 is a business card which we wouldn't qualify to get.) So I signed myself and dh for both non-business cards, 4 cards total. We each got 120,000 bonus pts which gives both of us companion passes for the remaining part of 2017 and all of 2018. This means our kids can be our companions and all 4 of us fly free with a bank of 240,000 pts to use. We cancelled the cards before the renewal charge. You can change your companion 3x I think but so far we've only had to change once. Chase has since limited their SW bonus to 1 every 2 years, IIRC.

IMHO, Chase cards that earn UR points are far better than a SW card. First, the SW visa only offers double points on purchases from SW. For us that isn't much, so 99.99% of our purchases were only earning 1 pt per $ with our old SW card. With the Chase Sapphire Preferred, all travel and dining earns double points and we could still transfer UR pts to RR pts at 1:1 ratio if we wanted, or use them toward hotel, flights on many airlines, rental cars, etc. This makes the points much more versatile and we earn far more pts with the CSP due to some being doubled, compared to our SW visa. We put everything on our CSP card except our mortgage and utilities that charge a fee to pay by cc. I pay it online every couple days so it never gets out of control. The annual fee is well worth what we gain from the card. Also it stays fixed each year. So while new offers will list a higher AF, ours will continue to remain what it was when we first signed up. This is true for the SW visa too. We got our first in 2006 and our AF stayed at $49 while new offers were listing $69, 89, etc. I made the switch to CSP 2 years ago, also for a bonus, but didn't think I'd ever give up my old SW card. After a couple months with the CSP, I saw the light.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I wish there was a DISlike button here. OMG! We had an 18 year old on our GEICO policy a few years ago, but all of our cars were/are old (and only one had full coverage) so our premiums didn't go up very much.

We also switched to GEICO from AAA when ds21 got his license. We didn't even have a 3rd car yet and AAA wanted something like another $1200/yr. With GEICO it went up some but not crazy. We got the 3rd car when he was 19 but he pays the insurance. It's approx $346/month for all 3 but we pay in full for every 6 month renewal. They charge extra to pay monthly and I refuse to pay extra. So I pay $91 biweekly to our car ins fund for me and dh, and ds21 pays $69 biweekly. This is another reason I'm happy to hang onto my 12 yrs old car longer; ins is relatively cheap.

Ds18 just passed his written test (finally!) so we'll be going through it all again soon. His road test is in March.

Our deal with both kids is that if they're in school, we'll pay for car + ins and they buy gas. If they opt out of school, they need to be working and paying for it all.

Ds18 wants a p/u truck, which thrills dh. He loves trucks too and is already shopping around for one. Men and their trucks...
My mom always says boys mature to the age of 7, then they just get bigger. She might be right.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

It was tough, but it was what I had to do. I honestly think it taught me a lot about time management, priorities, and consequences. It also gave me a lot of great job skills that I used later in life. I wouldn't change a thing. I strongly believe that struggling is a very valuable life lesson/experience and that people come out better for it long term.

I couldn't agree more.
Not all, but many kids today feel entitled and it's not a good thing. When we work hard to achieve something, it's much more appreciated than if it was simply handed to us.
We ALL struggle along the way whether we're 20 or 45, and we learn from our struggles and mistakes. Isn't that why we're all here? We continue to learn from our mistakes. This is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. You can cram in knowledge but wisdom comes from life lessons and takes more time. It can't be crammed.

I don't mind helping my kids, but I don't want them to take that help for granted and I want them to know the feeling of working hard for something and earning it.
After HS my parents bought me a used car and paid for ins and repairs but I worked PT and paid for my education with very little help from my parents. (They gave me $400 for books 1 semester.)
Back then Rutgers had a monthly payment plan. My little job earned $3.50/hour. I grossed $100/week, $80/week take home pay and $50 went to school. I was happy to have $30 leftover for gas and snacks. I was also happy to be earning > min wage which was $3.35/hr back then.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

I couldn't agree more.
Not all, but many kids today feel entitled and it's not a good thing. When we work hard to achieve something, it's much more appreciated than if it was simply handed to us.
We ALL struggle along the way whether we're 20 or 45, and we learn from our struggles and mistakes. Isn't that why we're all here? We continue to learn from our mistakes. This is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. You can cram in knowledge but wisdom comes from life lessons and takes more time. It can't be crammed.

I don't mind helping my kids, but I don't want them to take that help for granted and I want them to know the feeling of working hard for something and earning it.
After HS my parents bought me a used car and paid for ins and repairs but I worked PT and paid for my education with very little help from my parents. (They gave me $400 for books 1 semester.)
Back then Rutgers had a monthly payment plan. My little job earned $3.50/hour. I grossed $100/week, $80/week take home pay and $50 went to school. I was happy to have $30 leftover for gas and snacks. I was also happy to be earning > min wage which was $3.35/hr back then.

I love that you could afford to pay for your own tuition on $200 a month.

Tuition for 2018 at Rutgers, if paid monthly over two semesters, you would have to pay $1871.75 a month. Minimum wage in New Jersey is currently $8.44 per hour. Let's say you are lucky and get a job making $10 per hour. If you worked a part time, 20 hours per week job you would make $800 per month, not counting taxes. Assuming a modest 15% tax rate, you would take home $680 per month. So you would still be short $1191.75 each month. And this doesn't include room, board or books, etc. So in just one year, you would be short at least $9534 even if all your other expenses were covered. Over 4 years, that would be at least $38136, but likely more since tuition costs generally increases every single year.

And honestly, in-state Rutgers tuition seems pretty reasonable to me compared to some other universities. It just shows the extreme difference in what was possible for students decades ago as to what is achievable for students today. I really hate this idea that kids that get help from their parents with education costs are somehow entitled.

 

[StacyStrong]

Delete

 

[Bamaclan4]

I love that you could afford to pay for your own tuition on $200 a month.

Tuition for 2018 at Rutgers, if paid monthly over two semesters, you would have to pay $1871.75 a month. Minimum wage in New Jersey is currently $8.44 per hour. Let's say you are lucky and get a job making $10 per hour. If you worked a part time, 20 hours per week job you would make $800 per month, not counting taxes. Assuming a modest 15% tax rate, you would take home $680 per month. So you would still be short $1191.75 each month. And this doesn't include room, board or books, etc. So in just one year, you would be short at least $9534 even if all your other expenses were covered. Over 4 years, that would be at least $38136, but likely more since tuition costs generally increases every single year.

And honestly, in-state Rutgers tuition seems pretty reasonable to me compared to some other universities. It just shows the extreme difference in what was possible for students decades ago as to what is achievable for students today. I really hate this idea that kids that get help from their parents with education costs are somehow entitled.

I fully agree. My parents my way through undergrad while I lived at home at worked part time to have spending money. We did the same for our oldest son while he also worked and lived at home. Our youngest is a sophomore living a few hours away. We pay what his schlorships don't cover and his apartment while he works to make spending money, all the while making the Dean's List in Honor's Program. No, I didn't feel entitled nor do my children. My husband and I were raised with a good work ethic and we've raised our sons as we were raised. Thankfully the are both very appreciative of what we've done.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Thoughts on WDW in October? We want to go for DD's second birthday, which is on the 12th. Don't have to be there on that exact date per se. We are thinking either the week before, like Oct. 6-11, or the week afterwards, like Oct. 13 - 18. Any opinions on which might be better or probably won't make a huge difference?

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I love that you could afford to pay for your own tuition on $200 a month.

Tuition for 2018 at Rutgers, if paid monthly over two semesters, you would have to pay $1871.75 a month. Minimum wage in New Jersey is currently $8.44 per hour. Let's say you are lucky and get a job making $10 per hour. If you worked a part time, 20 hours per week job you would make $800 per month, not counting taxes. Assuming a modest 15% tax rate, you would take home $680 per month. So you would still be short $1191.75 each month. And this doesn't include room, board or books, etc. So in just one year, you would be short at least $9534 even if all your other expenses were covered. Over 4 years, that would be at least $38136, but likely more since tuition costs generally increases every single year.

And honestly, in-state Rutgers tuition seems pretty reasonable to me compared to some other universities. It just shows the extreme difference in what was possible for students decades ago as to what is achievable for students today. I really hate this idea that kids that get help from their parents with education costs are somehow entitled.

Believe me, as a parent I get it; education costs have far outpaced the rate of inflation. I was just saying what I did and didn't mean to imply that if I can do it, anyone can. Costs are insane. Just as I paid off all our credit cards, I got the pleasure of sucking down another $15k Parent Plus loan for just one semester for ds and he didn't even stay in school.
FWIW, Rutgers in Camden is cheaper than New Brunswick but would still be $1485/month if he lived at home, like I did.

I don't think kids who get help from parents are entitled but some kids nowadays do think their parents are some endless money tree. Some parents feel obligated for some reason to provide it all 100%. I have a coworker who told me her kids shouldn't be burdened with education costs. She also felt that way about having to provide both kids with luxurious weddings, which in the Philadelphia/NJ/NY area means $50k+. My parents gave us $2k and said we'd save a lot of money if we eloped.


There's a fine line between helping your kids and being taken advantage of, when the 'kids' expect a certain amount of help as if it's owed to them. I had a patient in her mid 80s who was telling me how she watches her 3 grandchildren FT, a 5 yr old and 3 yr old twins. My kids were a little older than that at the time so I told her that is a huge savings for them to not have to pay for child care for 3. She then tells me that at the moment they have the kids 24/7 while her son and DIL visit the Galapagos Islands for 2 weeks. I asked her when does SHE get a vacation. She said she can't take a break because they have no one else to watch the kids.
Geez, like the parents can't take a vacation WITH their kids and give their elderly parents a rest? omg, I felt bad for this lady. To me, her son & DIL are completely taking advantage of her kindness. Maybe others wouldn't see it that way.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Believe me, as a parent I get it; education costs have far outpaced the rate of inflation. I was just saying what I did and didn't mean to imply that if I can do it, anyone can. Costs are insane. Just as I paid off all our credit cards, I got the pleasure of sucking down another $15k Parent Plus loan for just one semester for ds and he didn't even stay in school.
FWIW, Rutgers in Camden is cheaper than New Brunswick but would still be $1485/month if he lived at home, like I did.

I don't think kids who get help from parents are entitled but some kids nowadays do think their parents are some endless money tree. Some parents feel obligated for some reason to provide it all 100%. I have a coworker who told me her kids shouldn't be burdened with education costs. She also felt that way about having to provide both kids with luxurious weddings, which in the Philadelphia/NJ/NY area means $50k+. My parents gave us $2k and said we'd save a lot of money if we eloped.


There's a fine line between helping your kids and being taken advantage of, when the 'kids' expect a certain amount of help as if it's owed to them. I had a patient in her mid 80s who was telling me how she watches her 3 grandchildren FT, a 5 yr old and 3 yr old twins. My kids were a little older than that at the time so I told her that is a huge savings for them to not have to pay for child care for 3. She then tells me that at the moment they have the kids 24/7 while her son and DIL visit the Galapagos Islands for 2 weeks. I asked her when does SHE get a vacation. She said she can't take a break because they have no one else to watch the kids.
Geez, like the parents can't take a vacation WITH their kids and give their elderly parents a rest? omg, I felt bad for this lady. To me, her son & DIL are completely taking advantage of her kindness. Maybe others wouldn't see it that way.

My parents are well off. My dad is a doctor. My parents probably had greater means than most to provide for their kids wants and desires. My parents could have cared less about buying us the coolest new shoes or clothes. We shopped at mostly at Old Navy and Target. I didn't have the latest gadgets like many classmates. And when I started driving, my dad bought a used Mercury Sable from a rental agency because he didn't give a damn if the car looked cool. Some of my classmates had very expensive, brand new cars. My dad's primary concern was that I be safe. My parents were not the provide for 100% of their kids wants and desires kind of people. My parents instilled me with a strong work ethic. I don't think that I have ever met someone that worked harder than my dad. He worked very long hours and even when he wasn't at work, he would be studying to increase his certifications or learn a new medical procedure. Or working on the house or yard to improve something there. Or reading a history book to increase his knowledge of the world. My parents just really value education and so that is where they put their money.

 

[Tygerlilly]

Thoughts on WDW in October? We want to go for DD's second birthday, which is on the 12th. Don't have to be there on that exact date per se. We are thinking either the week before, like Oct. 6-11, or the week afterwards, like Oct. 13 - 18. Any opinions on which might be better or probably won't make a huge difference?

We went the first week of October last year and almost died. It was SO HOT. The girls were miserable. I would definitely pick the later dates.

 

[jen7233]

Thoughts on WDW in October? We want to go for DD's second birthday, which is on the 12th. Don't have to be there on that exact date per se. We are thinking either the week before, like Oct. 6-11, or the week afterwards, like Oct. 13 - 18. Any opinions on which might be better or probably won't make a huge difference?

Seems like the Oct 13-18 would be better if it’s after her birthday then could spend time planning the birthday and Disney without being out of town.

On that same note how is April in Orlando, anyone been? We’re debating between Disneyland or World in April. I’ve only been in June, July and August and the latter two were so humid and so sticky hot and then the afternoon thunderstorms. Although warm rain is way better than cold rain! I still would go again in summer though despite the humidity.

 

[dina444444]

Seems like the Oct 13-18 would be better if it’s after her birthday then could spend time planning the birthday and Disney without being out of town.

On that same note how is April in Orlando, anyone been? We’re debating between Disneyland or World in April. I’ve only been in June, July and August and the latter two were so humid and so sticky hot and then the afternoon thunderstorms. Although warm rain is way better than cold rain! I still would go again in summer though despite the humidity.

I was at WDW the last weekend of April this past year. It was pretty hot, in the high 80s/low 90s, but the humidity wasn't anywhere near as bad as it is in July. April in Disneyland can vary drastically, it can either be hot during the day with highs in the 80s and 90s and then get chilly at night with lows in the 60s or it can overcast the whole day and not get above 70. Weather in Southern Californian can be kind of unpredictable in a sense.

 

[DisneyMandC]

Thoughts on WDW in October? We want to go for DD's second birthday, which is on the 12th. Don't have to be there on that exact date per se. We are thinking either the week before, like Oct. 6-11, or the week afterwards, like Oct. 13 - 18. Any opinions on which might be better or probably won't make a huge difference?

When is Columbus Day? I’d maybe avoid that since government workers have the day off.