sasywtch
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- May 16, 2008
It's happening here too and I've had a fake smile for a few months now. The good thing about the DIS is when these situations arise, you remember all the posts and think differently about things. Growing up one way, that was all I knew but reading here, you find that new gf's/bf's or new wive's/husbands have different traditions. (even though your brain knew, your heart didn't).
My DIL grew up with mom, dad and sister with no other family around. So holidays, they took trips. Here comes our family that had 25 people or more get together for everyone's birthday and all holidays. When my kids were growing up, we opened presents at our house then got calls from my nephews/nieces where we were and to get to grandmas. So off we went to my moms, open presents and ate around 1. Then around 4 we left to go to my MIL's to open a present and eat. We got home around 10. It was a packed day but everyone got to see everybody, kids played with their cousins and new toys, adults drank. When my dad died, we took my mom to my MIL's. (not so strange as my oldest sister was married to my husbands brother and grew up across from us so my mom knew her since I was 5).
Along comes my DIL, grandkids, etc....my parents and sister had passed so son had biggest house. Easier to just go there so grandkids wouldn't have to leave presents, etc. She had always mentioned how she just wanted to get out of town for the holidays. So, my only grandkids will be in DL this Christmas. But I am fortunate that I have my other 3 kids. It's just odd as first ever Christmas with no little kiddos. It appears my dd is getting very serious with her bf, they go to his mom's in the evening for holidays so have no idea when I get notice that she is doing something different for Christmas morning but I sense it coming in future years.
I was told by dd that we are to be at son/dil's house this Thursday as DIL picked that day for us to give grandkids their presents. It's especially hard because this is in place of the DL trip I was suppose to take my grandson on in July for my 60th birthday which we didn't get to go due to my oldest dd's stroke. (he has 3 one day tickets that they are trading in for a pass and 2 of those 1 days are mine they were holding for me....but whatever).
I just also said adios to a male friend I have had for years which wasn't beneficial to me. While his only child was 18 and in high school, I could see him going to ex's house with kid for holidays but the kid is 28 and just bought his own house. So this year will be different. It will be at 2nd DD's house. My sister and her son and grandkids will come since they normally go to son/dil's also. We are trying to rent a handicap van so my oldest dd can ride around and see others before/after going to dd's for present opening and dinner. If not, paratransit to/from dd's only. My other son will be there.
After reading all these stories on here and over the years, I'm thinking of ways to enlighten my life so when the kids are all with their significant others, I have options. I'm on a local neighborhood group on facebook, looking at their churches and activities. I don't know if you do gifts and if you do, ask your son and gf if there is a day they could come over for dinner and to open gifts. If your other son is a Star Wars fan, surprise him with the show in the afternoon. That might make it a little more fun for you if you got tickets and surprised him. It would give you something to look forward to.
My DIL grew up with mom, dad and sister with no other family around. So holidays, they took trips. Here comes our family that had 25 people or more get together for everyone's birthday and all holidays. When my kids were growing up, we opened presents at our house then got calls from my nephews/nieces where we were and to get to grandmas. So off we went to my moms, open presents and ate around 1. Then around 4 we left to go to my MIL's to open a present and eat. We got home around 10. It was a packed day but everyone got to see everybody, kids played with their cousins and new toys, adults drank. When my dad died, we took my mom to my MIL's. (not so strange as my oldest sister was married to my husbands brother and grew up across from us so my mom knew her since I was 5).
Along comes my DIL, grandkids, etc....my parents and sister had passed so son had biggest house. Easier to just go there so grandkids wouldn't have to leave presents, etc. She had always mentioned how she just wanted to get out of town for the holidays. So, my only grandkids will be in DL this Christmas. But I am fortunate that I have my other 3 kids. It's just odd as first ever Christmas with no little kiddos. It appears my dd is getting very serious with her bf, they go to his mom's in the evening for holidays so have no idea when I get notice that she is doing something different for Christmas morning but I sense it coming in future years.
I was told by dd that we are to be at son/dil's house this Thursday as DIL picked that day for us to give grandkids their presents. It's especially hard because this is in place of the DL trip I was suppose to take my grandson on in July for my 60th birthday which we didn't get to go due to my oldest dd's stroke. (he has 3 one day tickets that they are trading in for a pass and 2 of those 1 days are mine they were holding for me....but whatever).
I just also said adios to a male friend I have had for years which wasn't beneficial to me. While his only child was 18 and in high school, I could see him going to ex's house with kid for holidays but the kid is 28 and just bought his own house. So this year will be different. It will be at 2nd DD's house. My sister and her son and grandkids will come since they normally go to son/dil's also. We are trying to rent a handicap van so my oldest dd can ride around and see others before/after going to dd's for present opening and dinner. If not, paratransit to/from dd's only. My other son will be there.
After reading all these stories on here and over the years, I'm thinking of ways to enlighten my life so when the kids are all with their significant others, I have options. I'm on a local neighborhood group on facebook, looking at their churches and activities. I don't know if you do gifts and if you do, ask your son and gf if there is a day they could come over for dinner and to open gifts. If your other son is a Star Wars fan, surprise him with the show in the afternoon. That might make it a little more fun for you if you got tickets and surprised him. It would give you something to look forward to.