How to keep from getting insanely jealous?

[lunapnp]

You may not have felt the "guilt in it, but I sure did. Just because I didn't write it does not mean it's not there. As I said, who likes feeling that way? But I do feel the jealousy and anger at time - well, not anger really - but just left out. If I didn't say I felt that way then my post would be dishonest. I'd rather be honest with how I feel rather than try to hide it up. That way, people can better see how I feel.

I am sorry you feel so "left out" by not being chosen. I understand you are trying to be honest by voicing your opinions. However, some things are better left unsaid! Even if I felt jealous of people with illnesses being chosen for something I wasn't, I sure don't think I would voice it on a board like this! So, here's a thought...I am planning a trip to DW in October with my family. You are more than welcome to come to the parks with us every day and help me with my 11 YO DD who has cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair. You can help get her in and out of her chair hundreds of times each day and maybe that will increase your chances of being "spotted" and chosen for a special wish.

 

[SueM in MN]

If anyone was 'ripe' for pixie dust on our last trip, it was my family. Some of the people in our group incuded:

• My oldest DD who was having a birthday on the middle day of our trip. Not only did we get her a birthday button, we made her wear a showy WDW hat with a birthday cake on it.
  Did she get any special prizes?
  Nope, not one. But she wasn't wearing the hat and the button to 'get' anything. She was wearing it because we wanted to let other people know we were celebrating her birthday.
  Did she get any special pixie dust?
  Lots! She had CMs and perfect strangers wishing her a Happy Birthday - that's a bit of magic all by itself.
• My MIL who is over 70 (I'm sworn to secrecy about just how much older than 70). She's a nice and very friendly elderly (don't tell her I wrote that) lady.
  Did she get any special prizes?
  Nope, not one. But, we didn't take her along hoping to get any special prizes. We took her because after our family WDW trip in March of 2006, my FIL died very suddenly and unexpectedly. We had many family trips to WDW over the last 20 years with FIL and MIL and we knew she was sad about the idea of not being able to go to WDW with her husband of 50 some years. We love her very much and wanted to give her a good time without him to help her have some memories of WDW that were not connected to him.
  Did she get any special pixie dust?
  Lots! She had some really nice conversations with other guests while we were waiting for things like parades. She got to stand on the bridge over Kali River Rapids with my older DD and watch the rest of our party get soaked when the water rushed over us. In other words, she didn't stand around waiting for magic to happen - she made her own magic.
• My mother (also over 70). Also a nice and friendly elderly lady (she'd be first to tell you that she's old, but still fun-loving).
  Did she get any special prizes?
  Nope, not one. But we didn't bring her along 'expecting' any special prizes. We brought her because we thought she and my MIL would have fun together and would be able to talk about what it was like to be 70+ without their life-long mate.
  Did she get any special pixie dust?
  Lots. She also talked to some nice people she met in the parks. When she got off of Kali River Rapids (Totally soaked), she got smiles and thumbs up from CMs and strangers. That's pretty special to me.
• My youngest DD who has multiple disabilities and uses a wheelchair to get around.
  Did she get any special prizes?
  Nope, not one. But, we didn't bring her 'expecting' anything special. We brought her because she is one of our family and even though it is harder and more time consuming to bring a person with multiple disabilities to WDW, she deserves fun as much as anyone else. (But, no one deserves special prizes - they just happen).
  Did she get any special pixie dust?
  Yes!
  She got to ride twice in a row on Test Track. It took 3 of us to get her into the car. When it came time to get her out, the CM who had watched us painstaking get her in asked if we wanted a ride again. She had watched DD and said she had seldom seen anyone who seemed to enjoy the ride as much as DD had.
  A bus driver went out of his way to help the driver on our bus when the wheelchair lift would not go down on our bus. They could have both said, "sorry wait for the next bus and maybe the lift on that one will work"; that was what we expected (this was already our second bus to not work). They worked together and got the lift to work - some may not consider that pixie dust, we did.
  We met some very 'unDisney" guests who made our trip harder (the same kind SonicGuy mentioned), but we also met some very nice people who opened doors for us, moved out of the way and just made our way a little easier.
  We met a couple who said DD had smiled at them and that she had "the most beaustiful smile".
  Is that pixie dust? You bet!

Jealousy was mentioned in this thread (ie - everyone is jealous of something). We're not jealous of anyone who got special treatment or prizes. We met 2 families during our trip who had gotten prizes (One family got Dream Fastpasses, the other got special pin lanyards). Just hearing about their experience was magical.
We're jealous of much smaller things, like

• people who are able to get onto a bus without worrying whether the lift/ramp will work.
• people who are able to go in a restaurant and not have to worry about whether there is a clear path to a table (and whether or not people will be understanding or mean when we ask them to clear a path for us.)
• people who are able to use a bathroom - any bathroom instead of having to hunt out a Companion Restroom.
• people who are using the Companion Restroom because they chose to use it rather than because it is the only one they can use.
• people who can just walk into a bathroom and use it - our bathroom stops average at least 30 minutes - that's if we don't have to wait for the Companion Restroom.
• people who are able to get onto a ride without planning how to get their DD onto and off of it.
• people who can walk right into a show and not have to worry about whether or not there are still any wheelchair seats available.
• people who can go on Peter Pan. My youngest can't go on anymore because the moving walkway doesn't stop and we can't safely get her on.
• people who don't have to worry about their child having a seizure at WDW.
• people who don't get stared at just because they are in the park.

I could go on and on with the things we are jealous of, but it never occured to me to be angry at or wish harm to people who have some of the things we don't have.

I think anyone who thinks people with disabilities are getting all sorts of "special treatment" need to realize that along with maybe having a bit of special treatment, they will also have a whole new (and maybe somewhat unpleasant) list of things to be jealous of.

 

[2manypets]

Very, very well said, SueM

 

[SueM in MN]

Very, very well said, SueM

thank you

 

[bavaria]

Sue, as you always seem to do, you have written a post that will hopefully open some eyes for people who may not think about the challenges others face.

You have always struck me as someone who was able to find her own magic no matter how difficult the situation, and your post reflects that.

 

[DizneeMommy]

Well-said, Sue! God bless you and your family!

My DH and I are taking our DS9 and DD5 on their very first trip in June. I'm a teacher and he pastors a small church, so we've really saved up for this trip. My "dream" is already coming true--I have beautiful, healthy children who I am going to see experience a place they've been dreaming of. What could be better? Yes, it would be wonderful to receive a special prize, but the real prize and real wonder will be just being there with the three people I love most in the world.

 

[mrsksomeday]

I think anyone who thinks people with disabilities are getting all sorts of "special treatment" need to realize that along with maybe having a bit of special treatment, they will also have a whole new (and maybe somewhat unpleasant) list of things to be jealous of.
__________________
SueM in MN
Moderator of disABILITIES

That is one of the most wonderful things I have ever read on this board. My b/f has Cerebral Palsy and is in a motorized wheelchair.

SueM, I always look forward to your posts. I hope you have opened up some peoples eyes when it comes to the struggles the people with disabilities face and the struggles of the people that are with them.

Thank you.

 

[Disneybabe84]

to be honest, I think people should consider themselves blessed & lucky that they are able to visit Disney for many, it is a lifetime dream that may never come true.

 

[jamesmommy]

Sue,

Beautifully written post! Thank you so much for sharing.



Amie

 

[TMB1203]

SueM-that was a wonderfully written post.

 

[SueM in MN]

thanks for all the good words

 

[carcam51]

Sue...you have a huge heart and an eloquent way with words. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us.

 

[annieb727]

I think the key is to expect nothing, which I what I plan on doing the next time I go. Lots, I realized - don't get wishes as well. There are more that don't then then that do. And again, if everyone got wishes - the would not be that special anymore. Besides, I have been reading that there are certain way to give out dreams. They target times and places rather than people ...

Lots of smart people had begun to point out such things to me.

I don't agree with you. You don't go on vacation expecting NOTHING...especially to Disney. You go on vacation with the expecation to have fun (for us - to have the time of our lives). Our vacation is what WE make it.

And yes, when I went to Disneyland in October I was there for TEN full days with my four year old...we didn't get a single thing...I was a tad bit dissapointed...but we went to Mickey's Halloween Treat, and got to just hang out for over a week! We had SO MUCH FUN. We don't spent tons of money to take our vacations (ok, it's a lot, but we budget and go VALUE). But we have just as much fun as someone who is staying at the Disneyland Hotel Concierge when we're across the street and the cheap-o places.

It really is what YOU make of it. So expecting nothing...well your vacation in all may turn out to be a dud...

 

[ms_mckenna]

Sue a wonderful post as always brought tears to my eyes. Things I think about while getting DS around ... glad to know I am not alone.
We have been one of the families that the op talked about. We were given the oppurtunity along with 45 other families of chronically and terminally ill children to spend 5 days in Disney no cost to us. Disney was great but what we brought away was so much more. Things like my daughter met other siblings like her who have to deal with what she deals with everyday. Which gives her a support group to call when she has a bad day.
To the OP my wish for you is that you only get wishes that do not have a heavy price tag with them. That you are able as you get older to deal with your feelings. I hope you learn the joy of giving to others and how wonderful it makes you feel inside to see a childs eyes light up because of something that you have done. :

 

[OneBlessedFamily]

I don't know - but the worst of me rears though when I see or hear of people and all the great "bonuses" Disney gives to them be it a Million Dream blessing or special treatment due to illiness, birthday, wedding, winning a free trip etc.

I just get so ANGRY because NONE of that stuff has ever been given to me or my friends and family in all the times I have gone there. It just makes me wish bad things would happen to those who got all that good stuff.

Well, this is a doozy of a post to be my first response! lol

I'd just like to say that I think everyone battles with jealousy, but maybe, especially with the special treatment issues, you could be grateful that you AREN'T the one dying of a brain tumor. You AREN'T the one whose husband just spent 22 months in Iraq. You AREN'T the child who needs open heart surgery. Just be grateful it's not you.

We have been the recipients of Disney's kindess many times, and are in the middle of another HUGE benefit they (and Make-A-Wish) have given us, and while the trip is nice and it's wonderful and yes we are given so much stuff, we have to go back home to lives where we are constantly worrying that our child will die during his next open-heart surgery. And a life where I'm constantly worry that my husband will get blown up in a medical convoy in Baghdad.

So, yes, it sucks to see other people being given nice things....and we have been there too, trust me!!! But it also means that you can be grateful you don't have to deal with those things.

Mary

 

[lustergirl]

my original thought- is the OP really serious? She needs help in a bad way. Oh the people that go to disneyworld deserve to be rewarded indeed (just a joke by the way). What about all of the people out there that can't afford to go to disney- we all are very fortunate people that are able to vacation at disney. We are fortunate people just to take another breath in life, to be able to get up in the morning and go to our jobs (some people don't have any sourse of income whatsoever), to go through life disease free, and worry free. The OP needs to count her blessings. I have a little 6 year old girl that lives down the street from me who has a type of cancer that affects her bloodstream. She is a very sick little girl but has become my inspiration in life because she is strong and strongwilled. Her parents can't afford to take her to disney world, that is sad. So what am I going to do in september on my trip- I am going to bring back a souvie for her.

 

[OneBlessedFamily]

my original thought- is the OP really serious? She needs help in a bad way. Oh the people that go to disneyworld deserve to be rewarded indeed (just a joke by the way). What about all of the people out there that can't afford to go to disney- we all are very fortunate people that are able to vacation at disney. We are fortunate people just to take another breath in life, to be able to get up in the morning and go to our jobs (some people don't have any sourse of income whatsoever), to go through life disease free, and worry free. The OP needs to count her blessings. I have a little 6 year old girl that lives down the street from me who has a type of cancer that affects her bloodstream. She is a very sick little girl but has become my inspiration in life because she is strong and strongwilled. Her parents can't afford to take her to disney world, that is sad. So what am I going to do in september on my trip- I am going to bring back a souvie for her.

You could also submit her name and her parent's names to the Make A Wish Foundation. Then she could go to Disney, if that was her wish.

Apparently I can't post links because my post count is too low, but it's www dot wish dot org.

Mary

 

[cocowum]

Read "The Secret" it might help you

I agree. Your putting all that negative energy out there. of course your getting it back. Start being grateful for what you have. You'll be alot happier.