Jen's on her way to pick up a baby girl!!

[NikkiPants]

Wow, that's awful!
I'm so glad that the ACLU is helping you guys and your foster daughter out!!!

 

[Saxton]

Good for you!!! Keep fighting because you're doing the right thing for the little one! I hope everything goes well for the three of you and please keep us posted.

 

[KirstenB]

I hope you prevail. I had no idea this kind of thing could even happen. I especially don't understand how they placed her with you in the first place. I know that didn't come out right, but I'm saying if they're this prejudiced, then why now? Why disrupt 3 lives? I remember when you posted about trying to prepare your home for her. I'll pray that you do prevail, and it sets a precedent to help others.

 

[dis75ney]

Prayers and pixie dust being sent your way...

Good for you to stand up for not only GLBT rights, but the rights of your precious foster daughter. The world could use more people like you two...

 

[ChrizJen]

I think that we owe you all some hearty hugs, and a HUGE THANK YOU for all of your thoughts and prayers!!

We won. And it's all thanks to the ACLU!! (ETA: AND a heck of a lot of pixie dust! LOL)
Here's what went down (It's sort of scattered, so hopefully it won't be too confusing)...
Tuesday, Jen got the call from a worker at our licensing agency. She was asking her lots of questions about how the placement originally happened. Who called? What did they say? Who all did she talk to on that day? Was anything said about this or that? Basically without saying it (bacause she couldn't), she was hinting to Jen that something was up and that we may want to prepare ourselves to lose the baby.
There was already a routine family support team meeting scheduled for yesterday afternoon. So the original plan of the supervisor (from the agency who made the placement) was to blindside Jen at the meeting, (right in front of the bio parents, the case workers, the guardian ad litem, the juvenile officer, etc.) with the information that the baby was being removed from our home. Since our worker was never supposed to say anything about it to Jen in the first place, the supervisor thought she could get away with shocking her with it at the meeting. It was very fortunate that our worker did clue us in on the situation, or we wouldn't have had the time we needed to get ahold of the ACLU. When Jen finally did speak with the supervisor, she asked about a decision making meeting, and the supervisor said that the decision was ultimately up to the agency, and that the decision had already been made. She would be removed from our home within the week.

Well, it turns out that the decision is VERY MUCH NOT up to the agency, and that just about everything in the way this woman was handling the situation was against the law! Our attorney from the ACLU cited 6 (possibly 7) grievances that would be filed against both the agency and the state should they choose to pursue the matter.
About an hour before the meeting, the attorney faxed a letter (on ACLU letterhead! ) to all of the parties involved. In the letter, he noted all of the laws regarding the case, cited all of the above grievances that would be filed, and stated in no uncertain terms that he was prepared to represent us in this case should the need arise. (Go lawyer, it's your birthday... ) (Who ended up getting blindsided?!?!? )

So Jen gets to the meeting, and boy has the tune changed!!
The bottom line is that the case is being moved out of the religiously affiliated agency and into an unbiased city agency where we cannot and will not be discriminated against.

There were obviously several laws being broken by this woman and by her agency, but it turns out that the biggest deciding factor was that being a religious organization, they DID have the right to discriminate against us BEFORE the placement was made. Had they read through our home study (like they were supposed to) before they placed her with us, they would have known about our sexual orientation, and they could have denied us placement. But since they didn't read it, and they placed her with us, it was basically too late. Their "window of opportunity" had closed.
It's scary to think that if we hadn't been on our game, and if we hadn't questioned all of this, they could have gotten away with taking her away from us! For a split second, we thought that the agency was perfectly within their rights to have her taken away. I'd hate to think about how many same sex couples could have been duped into thinking they had no rights in this situation.

We have been advised to keep in touch with the attorney, because we could still file suit against the agency if we choose to. We're actually considering it, mostly for posterity's sake. We figure if we bring a suit against them on these matters, it may make it a little more difficult for them to try to get away with this crap in the future.

Jen and I were discussing last night the possibilty of becoming some sort of advocates for LGBT foster/adoptive parents. We really didn't know where to turn when we were first hit with this. We felt helpless and alone, and although there were ultimately people out there who could help us, it took hours and hours of calling to find those people. It would have been nice to have just one organization in place to help us find the resources we needed.

I have a few more gray hairs, but it's worth it. We're not losing the baby, and she'll be with us at least until the next hearing in May.

We're heaving a GREAT BIG sigh of relief!!

Thanks again everyone!

-Christal

 

[OrlandoMike]

Wow! Glad to hear it came out OK!

That pixie dust (and the ACLU) work in mysterious ways huh?



I'm so glad the child has you on her side!

 

[rosiep]

YEA!!!!!!!

I'm so very glad things worked out this way.
As for the grey hair: Kid's will do that to you!

 

[ChrizJen]

We were shocked and relieved that it was resolved so quickly. We were actually expecting and were prepared for a tough battle. We're really glad it didn't have to come to that.

 

[wallyb]

GREAT NEWS!

Good for you standing up and
fighting the rules.

 

[patsal]

WOOOHOOOO!
So glad that it went well.

 

[smartestnumber5]

I'm so glad it worked out!

Thank goodness for the ACLU! It's been awhile since I've donated to them. (I tend to rotate different causes in and out.) But this reminds me that they should definitely be at the top of the list!

Was this religious agency receiving government $? (I'm assuming they were.) It's so disturbing that they take government money yet they don't have to follow the government's rules about discrimination.

 

[pixierella]

In this day and age of horror stories of people who abuse their own children I can't seem to understand why sexual oritention is such a big deal. They would rather a child be with someone that will abuse them instead of love them. Your sexual orientation is the love of the same sex, not small children. Burns my butt every time I read a story like this.

I applaud and commend the fact that you care enough for a child enough to give it love, affection and all the other wonderful things that a child deserves. Better yet I give you praise for fighting for this child. Bless you both and I will send lots of pixie dust everyday.

 

[DVCajun]

Had they read through our home study (like they were supposed to) before they placed her with us, they would have known about our sexual orientation, and they could have denied us placement. But since they didn't read it, and they placed her with us, it was basically too late. Their "window of opportunity" had closed.
It's scary to think that if we hadn't been on our game, and if we hadn't questioned all of this, they could have gotten away with taking her away from us!

Those religious agencies really chap my butt. I think they should all be shut down. Talk about an "agenda!" Take all the kids up for adoption and place them with families that adhere to their religious beliefs!! The adoption process as a whole is really warped, imho, and that's just one example.

I'm SOOOOOO glad to hear of your happy ending. As far as thanks for the pixie dust and prayers, do I get credit for sending bitter, angry energy towards the bigots? I'm pretty sure that helped a little.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I am so glad the baby will get to stay with you! How wonderful that things do work out for the best now and then!

 

[NikkiPants]

YAAAAAAY!
That's great! :] Congratulations!
Taking further action would be a good idea, I think. They shouldn't be able to treat people that way or the child.

 

[PeterPan09]

I have been putting off my renewal and this has been a reminder about how important that yearly donation is.

I'm so thrilled for you and for that sweet baby.

 

[Tony-NJ]

What fantastic news!!!!!!

 

[lizet313]

I am glad everything worked out great.

 

[insoin]

Wow such good news! As bad as it sounds, I would also consider taking action against them. Like you said one never knows how many others they have done this to. A big civil case, which is what I assume it would be, may just make them think twice in the future and not do it.

But I'm so happy for you.

 

[jenn&nelsonrego]

The bottom line is that the case is being moved out of the religiously affiliated agency and into an unbiased city agency where we cannot and will not be discriminated against.

This is the best part of the whole thing as far as I am concerned (well, except for the part of the baby being able to stay with you).

Congratulations!​

​

It is time for me to renew my membership in the HRC, guess I better add the ACLU to my check writing this weekend (Hmm... I think my Arbor Day Foundation check is due too) OY VEY!