Be Enchanted
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2014
I'm not sure if this is just her personality or perhaps because she's an only child. Parents of only children (or if you are an only child): Would you say your child is more independent than their peers? I don't mean independent as in self-care or raising themselves. I'm referring to social independence, like not being afraid to do their own thing or not follow the crowd even as a young child.
I have noticed this for years but now that she's in 3rd grade I'm noticing it even more. For example, I have noticed that my DD won't always follow the group and do what they are doing. If she doesn't want to go the gym and play dodge ball, she won't go. She'll stay back and play legos or something, even if the other girls her age are doing something else. She just simply doesn't seem to care that she's excluding herself.
My first reaction is feeling sad because I don't want her to be left out. But this seems to be on her terms...she's the one opting out voluntarily, I think. I am a very anxious person, so I have questioned her about this 10 different ways to try to dig and figure out if she's secretly sad or lonely. But she'll just say "I don't want to play that. I wanted to do xyz instead". Or she'll say "I didn't know what they were talking about so I just walked away". She seems to almost purposely step aside and let groups of girls form. I just can't wrap my head around it because as an adult, my mind jumps to all the negative consequences (excluding yourself, not having friends, etc).
I have noticed this for years but now that she's in 3rd grade I'm noticing it even more. For example, I have noticed that my DD won't always follow the group and do what they are doing. If she doesn't want to go the gym and play dodge ball, she won't go. She'll stay back and play legos or something, even if the other girls her age are doing something else. She just simply doesn't seem to care that she's excluding herself.
My first reaction is feeling sad because I don't want her to be left out. But this seems to be on her terms...she's the one opting out voluntarily, I think. I am a very anxious person, so I have questioned her about this 10 different ways to try to dig and figure out if she's secretly sad or lonely. But she'll just say "I don't want to play that. I wanted to do xyz instead". Or she'll say "I didn't know what they were talking about so I just walked away". She seems to almost purposely step aside and let groups of girls form. I just can't wrap my head around it because as an adult, my mind jumps to all the negative consequences (excluding yourself, not having friends, etc).