RANT: I don't care if you want to sit next to your kids on the airplane

[The Mystery Machine]

IF you NEED to sit with your child on a flight, buy assigned seats. That is all.

 

[soccerdad72]

And that's when I say, "yup, I do mind...you're in my seat". I guess that's just how I roll!

I have also come across some people who won't move. Period. That's their seat, it's printed on the ticket, and daren't, that's where they're sitting! It's almost like sitting somewhere from where you're told is breaking a rule. I guess that's just how they roll!

Yep, I've done the same thing with folks who assume I'll switch with them before I've even gotten to my seat. Most of the time, though, when I come across someone sitting in my seat, they're just hoping that it's an unassigned seat and just move to their own seat as soon as I point out they're in the wrong seat.

I've also heard someone on a flight tell someone that they have to be in their assigned seat because "if the plane goes down, the FAA needs to know that everyone's in the proper seat to identify the bodies"

 

[LiveYourLife]

BTW the true way to avoid having to move from your seat due to families being split up, is to book an exit row seat (yes, it costs extra). Since no one under the age of 16 (or is it 18) can sit in an exit row - I've never been guilted into moving by another passenger or FA.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I flew with my daughter on JetBlue. She intentionally wanted to sit alone and I paid for a bulkhead for myself due to an injury. We had a hard time explaining to the flight attendants who seem puzzled we declined their offers to move her up.

As for the mom, I agree that demanding was rude. But with blizzard/Snowmageddon, we just don't know what caused her particular situation. If OP was looking for folks to commiserate, then the additional details of airline and age of child are useful. Absent that, I'm sure the situation is the typical story that has 3 sides.

I mean poor Andie MacDowell got bumped to coach. Sometimes with blizzards--we just have to deal with steerage.

 

[Missy1961]

I don't fly often. I usually get an aisle seat so I don't have to climb over people if I have to get up.

Many years ago, I was traveling alone. I was waiting to board my plane when I'm paged and asked to go to the ticket counter. Turns out someone wanted to sit in the seat I had, and they asked if I would switch. Since the ticket agent was able to get me another aisle seat, I took it. Nice and easy.

But I remember another flight home from Florida in March. NY had been hit by an unexpected ice storm and flights were messed up. A window of opportunity opened and they told us we would have to board as quickly as possible so we could get home. Well, I'm sitting in my aisle seat hoping to get home when I noticed a guy in the aisle and a guy in a seat are disagreeing very loudly. Turns out guy in seat's wife wanted the window seat so she could breast feed their baby but guy in the aisle refused to give it up. The FA tries to get the guy to give up his window seat but he refuses. The FAs make an announcement of the need for a window seat, and believe me, if I'd had one to give up, I would have. But a lovely young man gave up his and we were able to take off and I made it home.

So in this situation? I truly don't know what I'd do. I'd probably give up my seat just to keep the peace, but I understand why some would not. My sister has bad knees, and she pays extra for seats just to be sure she can fly/sit comfortably, so she would be telling that mom no. And there is a part of me that wouldn't want to give up my seat to a rude, demanding person. Call me petty, but I really don't like when rude people get their way because they are rude.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

Paying "extra" for assigned seats... Why do we put up with this crap?

Everybody gets assigned seats. And people board back to front. Period. No "early" boarders. No "Ultra Plus Platinum" boarding. Back to front. End of story. Yes, first class. You board last. Why? Because you get in everybody else's way up front if you board first.

Why do things have to be so complicated?

This is how international flights do it, and it makes much better sense than to go down the aisle and wait for someone to put their stuff up in the compartments before you can continue to your own seat. I always wonder why domestic lines (that I have been on) don't do the same thing.

IF you NEED to sit with your child on a flight, buy assigned seats. That is all.

I flew with my daughter on JetBlue. She intentionally wanted to sit alone and I paid for a bulkhead for myself due to an injury. We had a hard time explaining to the flight attendants who seem puzzled we declined their offers to move her up.

As for the mom, I agree that demanding was rude. But with blizzard/Snowmageddon, we just don't know what caused her particular situation. If OP was looking for folks to commiserate, then the additional details of airline and age of child are useful. Absent that, I'm sure the situation is the typical story that has 3 sides.

I mean poor Andie MacDowell got bumped to coach. Sometimes with blizzards--we just have to deal with steerage.

Without knowing that mom's circumstance, I'm not assuming she had the opportunity to book a flight with assigned seating. Sometimes the seats do not show up as available, and you have to take what they give you.

 

[JoeA]

Yep, I've done the same thing with folks who assume I'll switch with them before I've even gotten to my seat. Most of the time, though, when I come across someone sitting in my seat, they're just hoping that it's an unassigned seat and just move to their own seat as soon as I point out they're in the wrong seat.

I've also heard someone on a flight tell someone that they have to be in their assigned seat because "if the plane goes down, the FAA needs to know that everyone's in the proper seat to identify the bodies"

I've heard that, too! I want to say, "You do realize that...ah heck, never mind...don't know where to begin. Enjoy the flight or maybe the crash!"

 

[mnrose]

I have no problem with someone asking to switch seats with me, but if you want to switch, you better be offering a BETTER seat than the one I'm in. That's just common courtesy.

Equal or better.

But, don't ask for my extra legroom seat on the aisle in the front of the plane, and offer me a middle seat in the back (and then get all upset when I won't trade).

Seriously. Common courtesy people. I've got no issue trading equal for equal...at.all. Will do it in a heartbeat for a good reason or no reason at all. But, I want an aisle seat. I choose an aisle seat. Doesn't matter the reason for it. No, I don't want to trade you for the window. No, I don't want to trade you for a middle. Want to trade for an aisle a row (or two) ahead or behind? No problem.

The other thing that gets me are the people that want to "trade" so they can sit next to someone (work colleague) etc. Invariably, they go to the person in the "best" row and ask them to switch rather than asking the colleague to move back to the row they are in. IME, it's MUCH easier to get someone to switch when the "offer" is for a better seat. All the "switchers" should keep that in mind.

 

[Neesy228]

I didn't read the whole thread, but after a page or two, all I can think about is that maybe if we all just treated each other with a little more kindness and grace, the world might be a better place.

Maybe if the mother didn't demand, maybe if the OP had moved anyway...

It doesn't kill anyone to be NICE - even if the person you're interacting with isn't being nice. You never know what the other person is going through at that moment. What if the two were traveling because her father died suddenly and she needed to get to a funeral at the last minute?

You just never know. That's all I'm saying. And I'm not going to go down swinging over something like letting a mother sit next to her child on a short flight, but to each their own.

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

I didn't read the whole thread, but after a page or two, all I can think about is that maybe if we all just treated each other with a little more kindness and grace, the world might be a better place.

Maybe if the mother didn't demand, maybe if the OP had moved anyway...

It doesn't kill anyone to be NICE - even if the person you're interacting with isn't being nice. You never know what the other person is going through at that moment. What if the two were traveling because her father died suddenly and she needed to get to a funeral at the last minute?

You just never know. That's all I'm saying. And I'm not going to go down swinging over something like letting a mother sit next to her child on a short flight, but to each their own.

And what if the OP has an injury that necessitates getting up frequently? Or what if the OP was sitting in Economy Plus that they paid extra for, and the mom was sitting in Economy and was just trying to score upgraded seats without paying for them?

Being nice always goes both ways, and I will never think worse of someone for refusing to give in to the entitled snotty people who don't seem to realize that people will many times bend over backwards to be nice, if they're nice first.

 

[morgan98]

I didn't read the whole thread, but after a page or two, all I can think about is that maybe if we all just treated each other with a little more kindness and grace, the world might be a better place.

Maybe if the mother didn't demand, maybe if the OP had moved anyway...

It doesn't kill anyone to be NICE - even if the person you're interacting with isn't being nice. You never know what the other person is going through at that moment. What if the two were traveling because her father died suddenly and she needed to get to a funeral at the last minute?

You just never know. That's all I'm saying. And I'm not going to go down swinging over something like letting a mother sit next to her child, but to each their own.

I really do not think you aren't "nice" because you don't just give up your seat to someone who asks. You are right, you never know what that person is going through, but they do not know what they person they are asking is going through either. Maybe the person with the good seat is going through a divorce, going to a funeral themselves, on the way to a difficult business meeting, or whatever.

Flying, in general, has become an uncomfortable, stressful situation. For many people, securing a seat they like is important to them. It is their seat to sit in and they do not need to feel like they have to give it up, at least in my opinion.

If I were travelling alone, perhaps I would give up my seat, but I would have to know more about the situation before I would trade.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Why didn't the mom have the kid trade places with the person sitting next to her assigned seat? If the kid was in an upgraded seat, it would have been fair to have the person they were moving into the better seat.

The kid had to have been older, because the flight attendant wouldn't have let a young child (8 years or younger) sit with a stranger. They usually go over the intercom and ask if anyone would like to switch seats if it's a warranted situation.

is this a new rule? I ended up spread out from my kids many times when they were under 8. Flight Attendants were usually aware and only once asked someone to switch (he refused, which was fine).

They were good travelers and we flew a lot so inevitably ended up with weather issues or other bumps which caused reseating. Other than the time DS cracked his head up at LAX and we were rebooked on a later flight after he got 5 staples in his head (he was 2) I never asked anyone to move so I could sit with my kids. I always told people where I was and offered to switch with them if they did not want to be next to kids, but also told them they were welcome to stay in their assigned seats of course, and welcome to tell me if the kids caused any issues (OK; I did not offer to switch once when DH and i were in first and hte kids were in coach together,but by then they were over 8 and I was not worried about them at all lol ).

 

[mnrose]

Paying "extra" for assigned seats... Why do we put up with this crap?

Everybody gets assigned seats. And people board back to front. Period. No "early" boarders. No "Ultra Plus Platinum" boarding. Back to front. End of story. Yes, first class. You board last. Why? Because you get in everybody else's way up front if you board first.

Why do things have to be so complicated?

Depends on the kind of plane you are talking about. Often, planes board from the middle. Then, first class gets in no one's "way." And, you can forget the airlines not letting premium class board first. Will.never.happen. As long as those people are paying premium prices, they are going to get premium service. A sure way to guarantee yourself a smooth boarding process and all the overhead space you desire is to pay for first class. No sense complaining about it. Just do it. Plus, if they didn't get to board first, there wouldn't be time for their pre-departure beverage.

 

[JoeA]

I didn't read the whole thread, but after a page or two, all I can think about is that maybe if we all just treated each other with a little more kindness and grace, the world might be a better place.

Maybe if the mother didn't demand, maybe if the OP had moved anyway...

It doesn't kill anyone to be NICE - even if the person you're interacting with isn't being nice. You never know what the other person is going through at that moment. What if the two were traveling because her father died suddenly and she needed to get to a funeral at the last minute?

You just never know. That's all I'm saying. And I'm not going to go down swinging over something like letting a mother sit next to her child on a short flight, but to each their own.

There is a big difference between being nice and being a "Yes Man".

To me, being polite while declining the demand is a way of being nice.

 

[jenm2878]

IF you NEED to sit with your child on a flight, buy assigned seats. That is all.

As a mom with two kids under 4, I agree with you. However, hypothetically, what happens if the person DID pay for assigned seats, their flight got cancelled and the airline was able to squeeze them on this flight? Then they are at the mercy of fellow passengers to be able to sit next to their kid. I never condone people demanding things of others, but things aren't always as black and white as they outwardly appear.

I recently paid an extra $50/flight so my kids could be next to one of us because the airline would not guarantee that my 3yr old or infant would be seated next to a parent. It's a little insane to me that kids can't fly unaccompanied until they are what, 6 or 7 but they were willing to seat my 3yr old and infant by themselves. But that's a rant for another day.

 

[NHdisneylover]

You guys do realize that those passengers travelling internationally with a codeshare ticket being serviced by these airlines dont have the option to choose there seat or purchase early bird if there "home" airline doesnt service these options right?

I see alot of selfish attitudes here.

I do realize that--it stinks and that policy drives me crazy.
Still does not mean someone else should have to pay the price. Very few kids are really incapable of sitting 20 feet or so away from a parent. And if your child is truly not going to be okay sitting that far from you, then you need to book direct, or call the airline, etc or at least be prepared to ask very nicely and buy a few drinks or pay some, etc to get someone to switch.


Me? If you ask nicely and I can move into basically the same seat, I'll probably move--but maybe not. Maybe I am next to my own family (I got yelled at once for not being willing to move so someone could sit with her 12 year old----literally yelled, when she shut up and I told her the kid next to me was mine and 10 that was kind of interesting. ) or maybe I have already gotten everything I want out of my carry on, and stowed in the seatback pocket, etc and it would be a big hassle---and a lot depends on how you ask and how in need of having you there your child seems, etc.

 

[JoeA]

Depends on the kind of plane you are talking about. Often, planes board from the middle. Then, first class gets in no one's "way." And, you can forget the airlines not letting premium class board first. Will.never.happen. As long as those people are paying premium prices, they are going to get premium service. A sure way to guarantee yourself a smooth boarding process and all the overhead space you desire is to pay for first class. No sense complaining about it. Just do it. Plus, if they didn't get to board first, there wouldn't be time for their pre-departure beverage.

And there is nothing better than enjoying a cold one while you watch people shuffle past to their uncomfortable, last row, middle seat!

Now if only the airlines would board them from the back of the plane so my ambiance isn't ruined...ahh, a man can dream!

 

[maxiesmom]

and the flip side of the issue. I am a mom traveling with 3 kids. Someone is always separated. Typically I will try to get things so that I fly with the youngest, and my oldest dd sits next to her younger sister as close as I can get them to me. On our last flight we ended up with aisle and window seats no middles. So I offered our window seat to the lady who was in between my son and I, which she happily took. Grumpy old guy gets on the plane and he is sighing and grumbling about sitting between kids. My older DD offers him her AISLE seat so she could be next to her sister and to be polite and he snaps at her and takes his middle seat. Then he had to fly - to IRELAND with younger dd asking her sister for help with things, passing things over him, and he had to get up a dozen times to use the bathroom and had to climb over, plus he was larger and all scrunched up in the middle whereas my kid was all stretched out in the aisle. Guy made himself miserable just to hold a grudge against kids who had no control over the seats they were assigned.

How is someone always separated from you? Do you fly an airline without assigned seats? Or do you fly Southwest and not pay for EBCI? I can count on one hand the number of times my family hasn't had the same seats that we picked when booking.

 

[gwynne]

is this a new rule? I ended up spread out from my kids many times when they were under 8. Flight Attendants were usually aware and only once asked someone to switch (he refused, which was fine).

They were good travelers and we flew a lot so inevitably ended up with weather issues or other bumps which caused reseating. Other than the time DS cracked his head up at LAX and we were rebooked on a later flight after he got 5 staples in his head (he was 2) I never asked anyone to move so I could sit with my kids. I always told people where I was and offered to switch with them if they did not want to be next to kids, but also told them they were welcome to stay in their assigned seats of course, and welcome to tell me if the kids caused any issues (OK; I did not offer to switch once when DH and i were in first and hte kids were in coach together,but by then they were over 8 and I was not worried about them at all lol ).

As a mom with two kids under 4, I agree with you. However, hypothetically, what happens if the person DID pay for assigned seats, their flight got cancelled and the airline was able to squeeze them on this flight? Then they are at the mercy of fellow passengers to be able to sit next to their kid. I never condone people demanding things of others, but things aren't always as black and white as they outwardly appear.

I recently paid an extra $50/flight so my kids could be next to one of us because the airline would not guarantee that my 3yr old or infant would be seated next to a parent. It's a little insane to me that kids can't fly unaccompanied until they are what, 6 or 7 but they were willing to seat my 3yr old and infant by themselves. But that's a rant for another day.

Just wanted to interject here about unaccompanied minors. For Delta, American and United (and probably others) children can fly as unaccompanied minors when they are 5 years old.
There is no 8 year old "rule" about children being seated next to other passengers.

Obviously, seating a 3 year old and an infant by themselves is ridiculous. Sometimes I think the gate agents are at the mercy of the computers. But, things like that should be fixed.

 

[Andtototoo]

I have bad knees and whenever possible, I get an aisle seat so I can stand up as often as possible. If I don't, I am in a lot of pain and have a lot of stiffness at the end of any flight of more than 1 hour. So, it would have a been a "so sad, too bad" response from me to that mother.