I invited all my siblings to come up when we could find mutually convenient times over the summer. Due to friction between husband and some of them, only one took us up on the invite.
I completely agree with this part. These people are your siblings, presumably, why not just a chat with each of them saying “If you’re ever up for some time at the cabin, just let us know and we’ll try to figure something out” and go from there on an ad hoc basis. No promises made, no firm precedents set and no need for some big declaration....i'm all for sharing a cottage with family if that's what you want to do but i wouldn't be sending out an email blast to folks that sounds allot like 'free lodging, just clear the dates with us'. that to me opens it up to being the expectation of being able to use it vs. the generous offering that it is. family knows it exists, if they want to use it they know to ask (i would hope-i like the idea of the security pad for entry so long as both owners are on the same page on giving it out).
Sounds like this entitled brother is the only one who will tolerate being around your husband? Maybe that’s why you’re struggling with how to confront your brother about the issue. You are in a tough spot but definitely agree with others that you need to address this.
not much to add other than your husband needs to take care of it. not you. I repeat, not you. or the things said about you behind your back will be stunning...
It is the OP’s sibling....not the husband’s. The OP needs to deal with it, not her husband.
Wow, you all have some crazy families! My husband's side of the family has a 120 year old cottage in the mountains that has been shared well for generations. He and his brothers and cousins are in the process of putting the property in a trust to simplify things, but it will be shared among the 5 of them, and the next generation (8 there) will also have easy access to the place. It's been handed down 3 generations so far, no issues. It can be done if adults act like adults.
Or maybe the husband isn’t the problem. Maybe the OP’s siblings are all rude & overbearing & the husband doesn’t put up with the nonsense.
It's the OP's family, not her husband's.Wow, you all have some crazy families! My husband's side of the family has a 120 year old cottage in the mountains that has been shared well for generations. He and his brothers and cousins are in the process of putting the property in a trust to simplify things, but it will be shared among the 5 of them, and the next generation (8 there) will also have easy access to the place. It's been handed down 3 generations so far, no issues. It can be done if adults act like adults.
I guess it's time for you to have a discussion with your brother about the property.My husband and I bought 75 percent of our aunt and uncle's cottage recently. I invited all my siblings to come up when we could find mutually convenient times over the summer. Due to friction between husband and some of them, only one took us up on the invite. Unfortunately he assumes that he has a "history" there (he went fishing a few times as a kid) and that history entitles him to keep a small boat there. The other owner is the youngest of the three cousins who inherited the place, and the only one who wanted to keep it in the family (hence our investment). He already has a boat up there. We bought a new dock last year intending to make it safer for fishing and swimming, but not necessarily to keep another boat tied up to it.
Brother's boat is old, needs a lot of repair, and last summer he angered our very kind, generous neighbors by arriving late at night and deciding he needed to work in the motor at midnight. (That's when the "I have history here" came out rather defiantly.) And now he's talking about investing a significant amount of money in repairs and building some sort of ramp at the cottage for the boat.
My husband is outraged and I'm baffled by brother's "entitled" behavior. I've never seen this side of him. We were happy to have him come up to fish, spend a week with SIL relaxing, etc. but his assumption that he can make these plans without asking stunnned me. Now I'm struggling to find the right words to defuse this. If we don't straighten this out before spring, things will get ugly.
I'd sit down with him and ask if he's interested in buying a part of the property (assuming other owners agree