Do you regret not having more kids?

[Sleepy425]

I have 4. Whenever I have the urge to have more all I have to do is say "yes" when DCF calls me about another child. I've had up to 7 kids in the house. Right now I am happy with just 4, but that nagging feeling like something is missing is starting to come back. I assume we will have a fifth (maybe a sixth) again soon. I already told our social worker to put us back on the list.

 

[MrsDuck]

My dd is almost 12 and is the only child of two only children. I was so happy to have her after 4 losses, but at 39 years old we had to think fast. I realized while i didnt want her to be an only child, i couldnt face the heartbreak of pregnancy loss again. I also felt like you do now, unsure of wanting more. She says now she is so happy to be an only! I am sure i made the right choice for us all. A part of you might regret not having another child, but dont let the concern keep you from enjoying what you do have to the fullest.

Thank you for this.

 

[goofyernmost]

No, two was just right. They were two years apart, two girls, who are now in their mid 40's and have 4 grandkids to go with them now. Wouldn't change a thing.

 

[MrsPete]

Regret is too strong a word.

We had two children, and we raised them very well. They are now wonderful young adults. Given the resources, time and energy that we had, two was what we could do well; I'd rather have done well with two than have stretched everything too far among more. I grew up in a family of five children, and we never had enough of anything. (Disclaimer: I'm not saying other families can't do well with more -- but I know my own limits.)

But would I like to have had more? Yeah, but in a wishful, wouldn't-it-have-been-nice type of way. The same way I think about, "What if I had gone into this other career?" or, "What if we had taken that job up north and moved back when the kids were small?" Not in a serious, wish-I-had-done-it type of way.

 

[RedAngie]

No. ExH and I planned to have two kids, and we did. We couldn't think of any conceivable circumstances where we'd want another. I had a C-section for the second birth and had my tubes tied almost immediately afterwards. He got a snip job a month or so later.

 

[22Tink]

Nope. We have 4, aged 26, 23, 20 and 11 (surprise!!) and that’s plenty! Three girls and a boy, but only my youngest daughter is still at home. I’m 45 and DH is 48 so we’re done. I’m not sure how I’ll feel when the nest is empty but I don’t think I’ll wish we’d had more kids. Our daughter got married last fall so maybe by the time our youngest moves out there will be grand babies!

 

[bdcp]

Yes, I do. We have two grown sons and we both wish we'd had one more. My grandmother always said she regretted only having her two (boy and girl) and wished she'd had one more also. I had very easy pregnancies and money was tight because I was a SAHM til they were in middle school, but knowing what I know now, we should have had one more. Our boys are 33 and 36 and neither have children. Youngest is married, but they're not having kids, mainly because DDIL doesn't want them. DS would have gone either way. Oldest DS is getting married in May and they want kids so we'll eventually have a couple of grandchildren. She's 31 so they don't plan to wait more than a year. Our boys were so easy to raise and we never had any problems with them. They're wonderful adults with great careers and both own their own homes and have for a while.

 

[marthachick]

We have one son (28) and he is enough. He did 3 sports and is an Eagle Scout so we did a lot of running. We loved it though and knew most of his friends. He is married and they are expecting a son in May. We are over the moon! Very content.

I don’t know how difficult it would be now but several years ago, DH’s aunt volunteered at a large hospital. She would go and rock babies whose families weren’t there by choice or because of work or whatever. It was very rewarding to her.

 

[easyas123]

On the other hand, the reduction in the amount of laundry has been nothing short of fabulous!

Don't forget to tell her about the lower electric bills!
And the grocery costs...if your kids ate anything like ours, you'll be rolling in the cereal and potato chip $$$$

 

[wilbret]

We have 3, and wanted more, but it's so expensive, it would have been foolish to have more. (where we live is absurdly expensive for daycare, housing, etc)
That being said, we aren't out of the woods yet, we have a couple years left to change our minds.

 

[momto2girls]

I have sometimes thought that I should have had another child, but I don't know that it is another child that I am missing. What I really miss is my two kids being little. I would love to live those years again! Ultimately a third child would have delayed the ending of those years a bit, but they would still end. So, ultimately I decided that I don't regret having another child.

My older child is a freshman in college and my younger one is a high school junior. If they do have kids, they are a long way off. I don't know that either one of them will have kids, and I am not encouraging them to. If they choose to have kids, that's great for them, but I don't particularly care if I have grandkids or not.

 

[Elle23]

I guess I’m the opposite. We had 4 kids and if I had it to do over we would have had stopped at 2. 4 is just too financially draining and such a sacrifice I felt like I kind of lost myself along the way.

Of course, I absolutely love my kids to pieces and wouldn’t trade them for the world, but I think 2 wouldn’t have been so overwhelming.

 

[mousefan73]

Happy with our two. A boy and girl 14 months apart. Perfect. Couldn’t imagine having more. 2 is manageable both financially and emotionally. They are getting older now, more independent. I like getting more part of my life ( from me time perspective back). I am sure when they leave I will hit a period of depression but that is how life rolls

 

[Praise2Him]

I always wanted 4 but DH only wanted 2. After 2 boys he agreed to try one more time for a girl. When number 3 was a girl that was it. I figured we both compromised, but I still always wished we had one more.

I don’t know how difficult it would be now but several years ago, DH’s aunt volunteered at a large hospital. She would go and rock babies whose families weren’t there by choice or because of work or whatever. It was very rewarding to her.

This is what I do to get my ‘baby fix’. It’s my favorite day of the week!

 

[LSUmiss]

Nope - just regret the marriage - lol
Now a single dad of two, and have more respect for single parents than ever !

My dad was a single dad of 2 & was such a great dad. Now that I have the one & I’m not even a single parent, I have even more respect for single parents & more appreciation for the kind of dad he was.

 

[Feberin]

On the other hand, the reduction in the amount of laundry has been nothing short of fabulous!

I long for a reduction in laundry. We have four kids between the ages of 1-9 and I use cloth diapers. There is always laundry to deal with constantly.

We're done at four. My oldest two are two years apart but then we spaced them out more to almost three years. I haven't yet reached the point where I would have already had another baby or pregnancy and I think I will be a little sad when I cross that milestone. But I will mostly be missing having a little baby not wanting another child.

 

[becalubob]

DH and I each had three kids when we got married and then had one more together. Ages range from 21 to 8 with the oldest three moved out. As we gain more space in the house, we’ve discussed becoming foster parents and possibly adopting older kids or a sibling group, should that opportunity present itself. We still feel we have a lot more love to give.

 

[DISNEY1975]

My kids are 28, 25 and 15........what does that tell you!!!

My 25yo is getting married in Aug. Hoping for a grandchild before my 15yo leaves the nest!

 

[Snowysmom]

No, 2 kids were just right. Now we have 5 grandchildren so we are happy. DH always says he wanted one more, a girl. I told him there was no guarantee we would have a girl. The 2 boys are enough for me.

 

[mjkacmom]

I long for a reduction in laundry. We have four kids between the ages of 1-9 and I use cloth diapers. There is always laundry to deal with constantly.

We're done at four. My oldest two are two years apart but then we spaced them out more to almost three years. I haven't yet reached the point where I would have already had another baby or pregnancy and I think I will be a little sad when I cross that milestone. But I will mostly be missing having a little baby not wanting another child.

I have to say, now that 3 are out of the house, laundry is so light for our family of 4, and the grocery bill has been slashed. My kids were/are very involved in dance and sports, 2 - 3 outfit changes a day, I was doing at least 2 loads of laundry a day 365 days of the year. I don’t miss babies at all, but I do miss the easy years. I froze them when my oldest was 11, but apparently it didn’t work.