Screaming children

[KathAnn]

Hi T&B!

Tornado Tot is my Mother's affectionate nickname for Courtey. Since I last posted about her, she's been the perfect model of acute angelness and even dressed up as an Angel for Halloween! Don't know what's prompted this change in behaviour - but, boy, am I glad about it. We can now get through an entire (home) dinner without food being thrown, serving her UNDER the table, racing round the room, or a screaming fit happening. No medical reason for this behaviour - paediatrician (a guy!) says it's just the Terrible Twos. She's not 3 for a while, but we're keeping our fingers crossed the bridge has been crossed behaviour-wise.

Her vocabulary for a 2 year old is spectacular and she's never baby talked - but I was astounded when I heard her say that she didn't like the witch at the Halloween Party as "she's overdone the makeup - it looked a bit too green in this light"!!!

Eilidh (other sister) and I are off to WDW on Thursday (I'm posting from the UK and it's 7.20pm here now). A bit of a panic on as I'm working right up to the wire and my boss has jokingly (I think) asked if I'm taking my laptop with me. The answer is of course NO, but he's just remembered I'm off for 3.5 weeks (not 1 this time) and I think he's starting to panic. Well, too late to worry about it now - holiday's been booked since September 03!

Sorry I'll miss you - we could have swapped horror stories. With a bit of luck though, I won't have one to tell you all about when I get back.

On the countdown now - Splash Mountain, here I come!

K

 

[KimR]

Originally posted by justhat
I do have a question though, about giving in to kids and appropriate behavior. If the child is throwing a fit in a restaurant because they want to leave, whether it's to get to a ride, back to the room, whatever, should you leave the restaurant with them or not? The reason I ask because wouldn't this be showing the child that if they scream and cry they get what they want? Would it be better to take them out and give in, or let them have their fit, and realize that despite their screams they whave to stay with their family until the meal is over? I really don't know what the 'correct' answer is, if there is one, so that's why I'm asking. Obviously if the kid is screaming to go on Dumbo, then you wouldn't take them out to go on the ride, but if they just want to leave the restaurant in general, do you leave?

Yes, by all means you should leave. It is not fair to the other diners to be subjected your child's screaming. If you teach your child a lesson by letting him/her sit there and have a fit, you are doing so at the expense of everyone else. Trust me, the few times my kids have acted up in a restaurant and were promptly removed, it was not a fun experience for them. But then again, we didn't simply pack everything up, leave, and then go home and watch videos...the offending child was disciplined while the rest of the family enjoyed their meal. Honestly, I can only remember having to do this once for both my oldest and youngest. My middle one, stubborn little thing that she was, was another story altogether...it took several trips out to the van before she decided it was much more fun to stay in the restaurant along with everyone else and behave!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

KimR, I hate to be the one to warn you about 4th children, but I see from your counter that you will be having one...my 4th was the one to do me in! LOL If you have a boy just don't name him Jake and you might be fine. Jakes are all trouble.

T&B

 

[KimR]

Originally posted by Tigger&Belle
KimR, I hate to be the one to warn you about 4th children, but I see from your counter that you will be having one...my 4th was the one to do me in! LOL If you have a boy just don't name him Jake and you might be fine. Jakes are all trouble.

T&B

LOL! NO, say it isn't so!! I've already gone down that road with my 2nd and it wasn't pretty, I tell ya! I always say if she'd been my first she'd be an only child! My first one was very energetic but exceptionally well-behaved. My middle one was a fiesty, stubborn, headstrong, button-pusher who loved to test everyone's limits. My 3rd child was a dream.....so I'm thinking if the pattern repeats itself I'm due for another terror. And I'll have to remember that about the name Jake if it's a boy...I've already been told to avoid the name Michael for that same reason!

 

[rx8anna]

So this is totally off topic, but had to respond to the latest posts since I'm a 4th child.

KimR - Your descriptions of your 3 children sound exactly like my 3 older siblings in the same order. And if it holds true for the 4th, speaking from experience, *she* (or he) just might be the light of your life - the one you'll be most closest to. LOL!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

We don't call him "Jake the snake" for nothing.

My first was a lot like my last, but being a firstborn she didn't have the competition for everything and seemed a little easier (she's now an almost 17yo HS senior), my second was pretty easy, my 3rd a dream, which is why I went for #4. I figure God has a sense of humor and/or wanted to make sure I didn't go for #5.

There is no doubt that I wouldn't have had a 4th if my 3rd was like Jake. Something tells me that I will be very close to Jake when he's older. Not that I'm not now, but I think his personality will serve him well when he figures out how to channel it.

T&B

 

[pixiedust23]

Spiceycat,

I agree there are many people who can only afford to go to Disney once. So while some parents allow their children to scream and carry on, they are ruining the once in a lifetime chance for other children and families who are able to behave.

 

[PhotobearSam]

SpicyCat...

I don't think they have to leave but at least take a time out, go someshere quiet and wait it out a bit. If the child does calm down then you move on but just letting the child disrupt others is unacceptable in any circumstance.

My Mom could not afford to just walk out of a place if we misbehaved as children but there is no way she would "inflict" us on everybody around. She would take us aside (in the car, in a bathroom or another quieter place) and let us get tired of acting up.

If parents want to continue park hopping around while their child is having a breakdown, this is plain selfish. The child is not having any fun, time for a rest. The time out would help the frustrated parent too.

The notion that this may be their one and only trip is not valid in my opinion. There is no sign at the entrance to WDW that says "A Place for Parents to take time-off".

Parents are parents no matter where they are. Most parents I see are trying their best. BUT the ones who expect YOU to endure their child as they ignore them are not doing a good job.

No one said parenting is easy...but it is a 24/7 job.

 

[spiceycat]

if these people are the ones who have planned for this trip and put every penny in it for 5 long years - you want them to leave just because their children are acting up.

I think that is a very unreasonable request of your part.

they worked hard, very, very hard for 5 (FIVE) years to get to WDW.

if their children bother you - you can leave - you will be back - they probably won't!!!!

I went this year in May - when the parks were doing the special E-night - it was free....You should have seem the screaming children.
Parents who won't have put their children through this if they were paying - were there in number because they weren't.

every place had screaming children - it was much, much too late for these kids to be out - but since it was free - they just had to be there!!!

WDW if they want this to stop - should as I suggest start giving our free passes to parents who kids are screaming so they can leave the park and not feel that it is costing them hundreds of dollars. Otherwise it is definitely....

lets say that a kid is screaming in tomorrowland - first of all the parent has to get out of the park - with a little one screaming - lets say 20 minutes to the front gate - then get on the monrail - again 20 minutes or ferry - maybe 20 minutes - then to get to their car - 20 minutes - just to get the kid to the car - this is assuming no majority stops....

this is very unfair when you had to save for years to get to WDW.

Sorry if there child is bothering you - leave - you can - you will be back - they won't....

 

[NIK]

I'm sorry Spiceycat but I don't entirely agree with you. I also have saved and paid for a rare holiday. Why should I have it spoiled by some ill mannered little tyke whose parents havent' the first intention of curbing their young 'uns behaviour.

Sure, Disney is a wonderful place for kids and one of the joys for me is watching the little ones having a great time. However no matter where I am I see no reason why I should have to tolerate being kicked and poked - as I was just last week at Disneyland Paris - because Mama decided she couldn't be bothered to make her children behave.

As for someone else eating off my plate - doing it amongst a family group is one thing but if a stranger, child or adult, helped themselves from my plate there would probably be trouble.

I am all for tolerance and fair play. Any child however well raised, can embarass himself from time to time by a display of petulance. And of course there are those with behavioural problems who literally can't help themselves. It's not those children I'm referring to. It is those children, or rather those parents, who can't discipline themselves never mind any unruly kiddie.

When I was a youngster - it aint that long ago I assure you - if I misbehaved in public I was right out the door, no messing. I'm sorry for the family if it means they lose out but perhaps they need to address these issues BEFORE spending their hard earned on a once in a lifetime trip.

 

[spiceycat]

NIK - kids even well behaved kids can go crazy at WDW.

My niece and nephew - their first trip to WDW - crazy. they were in strollers - if we wanted them out it would take several minutes - but those kids could get out and into trouble in 10 second or less if they wanted it.

Now part of the problem was my sil she refused to even consider those leace type things - so the entire trip we were chasing kids around in the park.

they would have never acted like this at home - but sometimes the kids can get so excited that they forget that other people are there too.

they were little monsters - broke in lines at character meets - would run up and grab something if they wanted it - I was pretty embrassed....

It got so bad that mother and I had to leave - walking Spicey has caused many a family war to dissolve....

but my brother at the time though this was his only trip to show his family the wonders of WDW - I joined DVC because of this trip so they have gone so many times that the kids now think that everyone can afford WDW....

but for most families this is a hard ship.

I still think you are blaming the wrong people. WDW should have a policy where if a family is causing a propblem they should be give tickets if they agree to leave. WDW does not do this.

you are going to have kids at WDW - hey it was designed for THEM - most kids are going to go crazy - there is so much to see and do - and nothing can prepare kids for this.

I was beaten as a child - no child should have to do through that -with a belt, coat hanger and other things - today children have rights and thank god for that!!!

You are blaming the wrong people - if these children bother you write to WDW and suggest that they do something about it. Complainting here does NOTHING.....

but to expect everyone in a WDW park to be behaving for your benefit - I think is asking alot.

I have more problems with the adults who get drunk and then start yelling in the hot tub at the resort....these people need to serious look at their lives....

 

[justhat]

Originally posted by NIK
I'm sorry for the family if it means they lose out but perhaps they need to address these issues BEFORE spending their hard earned on a once in a lifetime trip.

It's possible, and probable in most cases, that the kids don't have behavior problems at home. Most kids just get so overwhelmed and overstimulated in WDW that they don't know how to handle it. The parents are too, most newcomers are unprepared for WDW, so when the overstimulated kids whine to the overwhelmed parents, breakdowns occur. My cousins took their 'once in a lifetime' trip to WDW (courtesy of my mom) and though they're a happy little family at home, they all got grouchy, whiny, etc. (This was a 6yo girl and her parents.) This family never could have afforded WDW, so my mom paid for their park admission, airfare, and we got a 2 bedroom suite that they stayed in with us. They even got some meals free (Cinderella's breakfast, a banquet dinner from the convention we were attending, and a few lunches). But when their 6yo kept asking for every princess item she saw, and just about every other souvenir, things got rough. It was hard for their child to constantly hear 'no' while my husband's 2yo niece would get stuff because her mother could afford a little more (though again, not much). This also applied for snacks, desserts, and anything else that cost money. I mean, the 6yo did get stuff, but when you've never been to WDW and all you see are things you dont' have, it's hard for a little kid. Not to mention how she didn't want to hold her mom's hand, but walk alone like our 12yo cousin, so then the mom got upset that she might get lost. All these things do not come up at home, and if you met this little girl, you'd think she'd be perfect to take on vacation. And overall she was, but like any 6yo, she had her moments of tears, never a meltdown or anything that severe, but there was crying, pouting, etc. And this family took breaks at the pool each day, napped, etc. But things can still be more than the child can handle, and no, parents dont' always know this in advance.

 

[pixiedust23]

I am not trying to incite a fight, but this actually is a place where we can complain about it and discuss our feelings on the matter. It is a "discussion forum." I think I can speak for everyone when I am saying that no one wants to see a child mistreated or struck, that is most def not what we are discussing here. However your main point seems to be that families save up for 5 years to be able to go, and they should not have to leave an attraction b/c they're child is acting up. But you are missing that they are ruining it for other families who have saved up for 5 years and acting decent. And as for the adults drinking in the hot tub, perhaps they are there b/c they have saved up for 5 years as well and sacrificed to take their vacation to Disney for their kids, and are trying to enjoy themselves as well?

 

[justhat]

I think I see what spiceycat is saying, though feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. If a child is in some way being disruptive in say, Mickey's Philharmagic, the CMs should be responsible for asking the family to leave if they feel it's such a disruption to the rest of the people. Same in a restaurant. However since this doesn't happen, and the CMs don't step in, they sort of 'assume' it's okay, normal child behavior in a child-friendly vacation destination. Parents spend a lot to go to WDW, and if it is their only trip, once they get there they see how much there is to do and see and they think "Oh my gosh, we have to do so much in so little time. We better get up at 7am and stay out till midnight so we can squeeze everything in." When I went with the cousins previously mentioned, I mailed them park maps so they could plan what they wanted to do and see in advance. They e-mailed me and said "We'd like to see the Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom, if that's possible and okay with you." Well we bought them 5 day parkhoppers, which I had already told them, but they had no idea what it meant to visit multiple parks, or that they were all right there. Even with my help, they were very overwhelmed upon arrival. Again, that's just my interpretation so spiceycat feel free to make comments.

I really don't think my vacation would be ruined by a screaming child ever. That's what kids do, they cry, run, laugh, etc. I go there, or really anywhere with kids, with that thought in mind. If I ever got to the point where a screaming child would ruin my vacation, or severely disturb it, I would start going to couples only destinations. Now, if I got kicked or hit like another poster said, it still would not ruin my day. I would ask the parent to stop the child if it bothered me that much. We went to Naples, FL last December when I was 7 months pregnant and on a trip to their zoo a small child, maybe about a year old, was sitting behind me on the boat ride to see the monkeys. Well, she had just learned to walk and there was no way she was happy about being confined on the bench seat to see monkeys. So she kept squirming on the mom's lap, kicking and hitting the back of my head. I turned around once to see what was going on, saw it was a baby, smiled at the parents, who apologized, and then turned back around. Well, despite the apology, the little girl kept kicking and hitting me. Did I enjoy it, no, but it certainly didn't ruin my day or zoo experience. Although everyone who is annoyed with 'bad' kids in WDW claims to have been perfect as a child, I'm sure you had moments when you acted up and disturbed others. Kids aren't perfect, and if you can only handle perfect kids or your vacation will be ruined, then I would think twice about going back to WDW.

 

[pixiedust23]

I'm sorry I'm not meaning to say that children would ruin my vacation. I LOVE kids! I even borrow my neighbors kids at times b/c well I dont have any and wont be having any for many years. But parents need to realize when their children have reached the end of their rope. Obviously when you keep your kids out from 7-12 their going to be cranky. I don't blame the kids for this at all. That's how kids are. I don't blame kids for running around and acting like kids. I do however have mean thoughts about parents who drive their kids to extreme exhaustion levels and let them scream and carry on, while doing nothing to stop them. Or taking them to take a much needed nap. Just b/c your in Disney and it might be your only chance to get there doesnt mean you shoudl cut out nap time to maximize park time.

 

[spiceycat]

well I am sorry - but for the parents on this once in a lifetime trip - it is just that - once in a lifetime - the kids (in their opinion and some guidebooks too) can nap in their strollers (they can't) - but you are talking about people who probably can't afford to stay on WDW property taken their children out of the parks - that can be a 2 hour trip back to their hotels for a nap....

I am sorry - it is not going to happen.

Again you are complainting to the wrong place - go complaint to WDW since it is their policies that are causing this to happen.

as far as adults not being in control of themselves - are you kidding or just trying to start a fight.

Kids have no control over where they are - or what they are doing - their parents do. there is a reason why most kids when asked what the most enjoyed about their WDW vacation say - the hotel pool.....

Adults do have control of themselves and what they are doing - who cares if it is their one in the lifetime trip. While I feel for kids - adults can and do take care of themselves. they definitely know when they are being rude....kids don't always.

thanks everyone you definitely worded it much better than I did!

 

[pixiedust23]

SpiceyCat-

I'm not trying to start a fight with you at all. I'm just trying to get you to see that yes you have a point. People can save their whole lives to get to Disney and they should enjoy it as much as possible. Trust me I do understand that. But there are other sides as well, just not your opinion. I also save an incredible amount of money to go on vacation too, and it's not just that kids are screaming and crying. But parents are pushing them too much and they're not even enjoying themselves.

In summary: I am not trying to start a fight with you. I respect your opinion. However I feel that other peoples opinions count as well.

not at all trying to be insulting -C

 

[DizBelle]

I really don't appreciate people who feel that they are entitled to whatever they want regardless of how it affects others. They think that since they paid a boatload for their trip, they are entitled to do whatever they want, even if it ruins others' trips. They just don't care if someone else also paid a boatload for their trip. All they care about is themselves.

These people are very selfish. WDW is not for them. WDW is for those that want to experience joy and enjoy seeing others experience joy.

 

[justhat]

The selfish people want to experience joy too, and they do, despite the moments of tantrums. They also like seeing others experience joy, despite their tantrums which may affect others. I highly doubt anyone with a tantruming child thinks they are ruining anyone's vacation. And for most people they're right. I rarely meet anyone who came back from WDW saying their trip was ruined by screaming kids. Most people expect it to happen.

 

[DizBelle]

I also don't think that inconsiderate people should be rewarded with free tickets. Every admission lets you come and go all day - some to only one park, some to any park.

Given the previous assertion that WDW should give away free tickets, I could get to the park at 8am and stay until 8pm, have my child throw a tantrum, then get free tickets for next day. Not fair and not a good idea.