I have never wanted children. DH has. I was just wondering fellow CF people, what are your reasons? I think I'm too selfish.
But i have several people who chose to be CF until late 30s and changed their minds, so wondering if you did want the CF life, but changed your mind, why did you?
To be fair, it depends on when they were married. DH & I started dating at 19 & 20. We hardly had anything figured out then. He always saw himself with kids mostly b/c it was the thing that ppl do. I was always unsure b/c I never have cared what most “ppl do” & I never really liked kids. In the end, our decision worked out for us, but it’s not always as black & white.
Some ppl (I would say most now) don’t have everything figured out by that age. We were both still in college & much closer to still being kids than we were adults. I’m not even close to the same person now as I was then.Well I was 21, so age is not a reason not to have an actual discussion I know it's not black & white. If you are old enough to vote, drive, buy a house be old enough to have a discussion.
We have friends who are childless by choice but they talked about it.
I got married very young. Wasn't even a discussion. Yes, we were immature.Well I was 21, so age is not a reason not to have an actual discussion I know it's not black & white. If you are old enough to vote, drive, buy a house be old enough to have a discussion.
We have friends who are childless by choice but they talked about it.
If it was up to my fiancé though, we would be trying to have a kid right now. He has crazyyyy baby fever and I know it would break his heart if I ever came to the definite decision that I didn't want kids
That might be a big thing with me. Pregnant people freak me out. Something growing inside you . EEK!I know you’re looking for other child free comments. I just wanted to say that there is no other life experience like being pregnant, giving birth, and raising a child. It completely changes your perspective on life.
We ended up only having one child which in some ways is nice. We still have some discretionary income and we can spoil her a bit.
Good luck with your decision!
We did. Plenty. He said it wasn't a dealbreaker for him. He always saw himself with kids, but not having them he was okay with. We have been happily married for several years now.Umm don't you think you should have discussed this before marrying?!?!? Maybe it is just me but we discussed kids, money, living arrangements - where & what. Why go just go blindly into marriage.
That's one thing for me. I like to "try things out"It is such an incredibly personal decision. You will feel pressure to have kids if you are in a relationship and anywhere in the twenty to thirty five age range. I think everyone has moments where they wonder "what if." If you have kids, you sometimes long for those days of freedom when you could do what you wanted when you wanted, sleep late etc. If you don't have kids, you may wonder what life would be like with kids, what kind of parent you would be etc.
DH and I were totally on the fence about kids. We were okay either way. We were scared to death to take that plunge. To me, there was no "out." If you buy a house and you don't like it, you move. If your marriage does not work, you get divorced. If hate your job, you can apply for a new one. But with kids, there is no "givesies backsies"
We finally took the leap even though we were scared, unsure and terrified. And I wouldn't change a thing. Best thing we ever did.
Yep. Dh and I decided to have a child when he was 25 and I was 20 (emphasis on ONE ). We definitely talked about it at length before taking the leap.Well I was 21, so age is not a reason not to have an actual discussion I know it's not black & white. If you are old enough to vote, drive, buy a house be old enough to have a discussion.
We have friends who are childless by choice but they talked about it.
How often did you get the "you'll change your mind when you get older."I am child free. I made that decision at 15 and am now 36 so I am not going to change my mind.
If you don't mind me asking, what do you think of being a younger mother? I would think doing it young would be easier to interact with the kids as they get older, because you'll still be young enough to do activities with them.Yep. Dh and I decided to have a child when he was 25 and I was 20 (emphasis on ONE ). We definitely talked about it at length before taking the leap.
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That said, I didn't always want kids. I met the man who is now my DH and changed my mind. It was something that we wanted to do together. If I could do it again, I might have waited a few more years, especially concerning our financials at the time, but I don't regret it at all and the hard times make us much more appreciative of what we've accomplished and have now.