dealing with family that won't stop gifting...

[trouttigger]

Honestly, join a few local for sale FB pages and start selling some of the stuff off. If you do it through actual groups they won't see the postings on FB if they are your "friends"

Are you sure about this? A few years ago I posted an item on a local sales group, and it appeared in my newsfeed. (Great. I just didn't want all friends knowing what I was getting rid of.)

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

Are you sure about this? A few years ago I posted an item on a local sales group, and it appeared in my newsfeed. (Great. I just didn't want all friends knowing what I was getting rid of.)

Yes, if you are selling in just the general Market Place it will show up.

But if you join and are in specific selling groups, only members of that group will see your postings on that specific group page.

Such as right now, I'm a member of about 5 different groups. I'm selling some curtains, nobody is none the wiser I'm selling the curtains, because they are only listed for sale in the one specific group I have them listed in

 

[Tigger in a kilt]

You need to make sure that it’s a closed group. If it’s a public group then your friends can potentially see your activity. If it’s a closed group then your friends can see that you are a member of the group but cannot see your posts unless they are also a member of the group.

 

[trouttigger]

You need to make sure that it’s a closed group. If it’s a public group then your friends can potentially see your activity. If it’s a closed group then your friends can see that you are a member of the group but cannot see your posts unless they are also a member of the group.

Thanks for clarifying. Years ago I posted something in a group. It appeared as a regular post in my newsfeed. Ugh! But I do know that fb has made a lot of changes since then. I should try selling something in a group soon (that doesn't have emotions in it) to see what happens.

 

[MomDoc_99]

I always try to give gift suggestions to family. They prefer it and so do I. I sometimes have trouble coming up with gift ideas for my young adult kids, so I have come up with this idea for some of the gifts: I find something fairly big that I think they will like but am not sure or would need further input (e.g. cowboy boots, new coat, big ladder for son's new house, Y membership). I make a card with a picture of that thing and enclose the cash that it would cost. There is always the understanding that if they would prefer to buy something else or just use the cash to pay bills, that is fine with me. That way they get the thoughtfulness of me selecting a gift with the flexibility of cash.

 

[Sagginit]

Is it just me or does anybody else see complaining about gifts as being a bit ungrateful. Telling people what you will accept as a gift says more about you than the gift giver. I have yet to come across someone that gives gifts out of spite. I am a grandfather of two. I love shopping for my grand kids. Am I out of touch? Most certainly. I have made goofs and also bought things my grandchildren cherish. With gift giving as everything.....it is not always about you.

I would say it depends on the relationship. I received tons of gifts for my son in the months after he was born. I was happy and touched that so many people cared. I sent hand written thank you notes for all of them, which most people of my generation don't do. What I am referring to is close family that say gives you a candle every year even though you never burn them because you have sensitivities to fragrances. Another ex. is when we get clothes from people for our son to wear at certain events. I get they want to be involved but honestly I would like to pick out an outfit for my child for the holidays, if people have their own children they get their turn to dress them up in whatever they want, so just give me the outfit but don't tell me when he has to wear it.

I have spent many hours in the last year returning duplicates, excessive things, donating items we can't use or return, and even tried selling some items in online forums but no one else wants them lol. In my case I have tried to set boundries but I am having a hard time getting others to understand where we are coming from which is why I was asking for advice. When I get a gift I often think of what thought and intention was behind it. If the thought is that someone wants to control the exact items I have in my home, what my child is wearing, or even where I live (b/c yeah I have had people suggest that we keep items for "when we have more space") I do become concerned about what is this really about. I mean if the thought is to give me something I appreciate if I say nothing or a giftcard, then give that. I also do the same for others. I know several friends who flat out asked for cash or giftcards at showers (yes odd to have a shower with no gifts present lol) but I happily do as they ask as I try to be respectful of them.

 

[SharonZ]

I opted out of the gift-giving/grab bag gifts at the holidays. Call me a Scrooge, but I'm much happier!