Hard time at a DVC resort

Another question for the warden - since I'm a prisoner of the state, am I allowed unlimited free access to the prison dining facilities, or do I have to pay for my food at the commissary? As a convicted felon, I might have some difficulty holding on to my cushy work-from-anywhere IT job, so I'm wondering what my income looks like. And if I'm incarcerated, say, at AKV, can I eat freely at Boma every morning or evening, or do I need to expect a diet of frozen pizzas from the gift shop with only occasional splurges like Jiko?
You can't have work outside the facility, even remote work. But you don't need to pay for anything at the resort either. It's all paid for by the state. You have unlimited access to all the facilities. If you want to go to the Boma buffet every meal you can do that, or eat at Jiko or Sanaa. If you want to hang out at the bar and have a drink, you can do that. If you want to take something from the market and make it your room you can do that also. You are allowed to go between Jambo and Kidani, but no where else. Anything and everything is available to you whenever you want (during the normal business hours for that establishment of course). You just can't leave AKL...EVER.

Do I get to use the ocean at Aulani for fishing?
Is that a normal thing you can do at the beach there? You can't do things that aren't normally allowed.
For example, you can't go hunting at AKL Sunset Savannah. But, you could do the "Savor the Savannah Tour".
This is like choosing a home resort on steroids.
Yep, exactly. It's interesting to see how people may see a resort in a different light when they can't leave. For instance, a lot of people might like BCV for proximity to so many places...EPCOT, DHS, BWV, YC, Swan & Dolphin. But if you can't leave BCV itself, do you feel the same?
 
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Inmates of BWV are allowed to use the Boardwalk and its amenities, as long as they are on good behavior.

However, any attempt to go beyond those confines will be dealt with harshly. No grace given. First offense, and I'll make you sit in a nanny chair facing the corner for a whole hour:
View attachment 837772
Hahaha
Between those nightmare chairs and the thankfully gone evil clown, I can't believe I don't run over to my own resort (BCV) and yet I love, love, love everything about BWV and my often travel partner (adult daughter) doesn't ever want any other resort.

I'm too old to buy my own BWV, especially with the ending looming but I never feel guilty there because I'm freeing up BCV so everyone's happy.:)
 
This is hard and I have been thinking on it a couple days. Then I remembered I am a beach girl through and through so Aulani is the obvious choice. I would want an Ocean/pool view, maybe around the fifth or sixth floor, not too high so I could people watch. If I am alone a one or two bedroom would suit me fine, less to keep clean. How could I resist the morning yoga, paddle boarding, snorkeling, spa, yummy umbrella drinks and night time entertainment?
Pure paradise…er….prison, I mean.
 
If I am alone a one or two bedroom would suit me fine, less to keep clean.
This is a humane prison system, you don't have to do your own cleaning. CM's will still provide cleaning services per the standard DVC agreement. (You have to do your own laundry of course)

Another specific thing...Clothing: You'll bring your own. For replacement, you are free to take whatever is in the resort's market. A personal shopper will be provided to buy necessary clothing items which are not available in the market. There are limitations to things they can buy (i.e. if the Dolce & Gabbana high heels that you brought with you wear out, too bad, we will not pay for new ones...you'll have to settle for Forever21 dress shoes).
 
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My first reaction was a Poly Bungalow, but I may have to go with an Aulani GV. Hands-down my two favorite DVC resorts!
 
Aulani hands down, but if I had to pick a DVC park resort it would be Boardwalk!
 
You can go anywhere you want on resort property, and have Mai Tais and other drinks whenever you want. But only those made at one of Aulani's restaurants or lounges. This is serious hard time.
I too chose Aulani for my hard time. The irony is that drinks will be on Off da Hook every day at noon. Rough life.
 


Oh wow. This is a hard one and the more I read other people's arguments the more confused I get!

My choices would be either ...

AKV -- We own there so we love it.
  • animals outside your balcony
  • 2 different pools and many hot tubs
  • 4 restaurants plus one of my favorite bars on property
  • tennis, shuffleboard and basketball courts
  • I assume that both Kidani and Jambo are open, so plenty of walking between the two.
  • spa
  • minus - no ongoing entertainment
BWV -- We own there so we love it.
  • Boardwalk entertainment
  • Many nice pools (assuming we can go to the Inn side too)
  • A variety of restaurants and bars, plus the bakery plus an ice cream parlor.
  • dancing and singing
  • fireworks from Epcot and DHS
  • tennis
  • minus - walking around the resort is limited and can get boring.
SSR -- We don't own there and it's one of my least favorites for a trip. BUT, it has a lot going for it for a ... ahem ... long term stay.
  • HUGE grounds with a variety of walking paths. Woods and water.
  • I love the idea of living in treehouse with a huge porch and a private grill.
  • very nice pools
  • nice spa
  • tennis
  • golf (I would learn to play)
  • minus - restaurants are limited as is ongoing entertainment
VGF -- We stayed there once and liked it, but it's not a favorite for a regular trip.
  • large variety of restaurants and bars
  • large enough grounds to not feel too cramped.
  • nice pools
  • spa
  • some ongoing entertainment (bring back the orchestra!)
  • MK fireworks
  • nice water views
  • the wedding pavilion is close by and it's fun to watch people get married
  • minus - being so close to the MK would make me cry.
Polynesian -- We love the Polynesian
  • I love the theme.
  • I love the grounds. I would be a very relaxing place for me.
  • private splash pool at my bungalow. Heck yes!
  • dole whips for life
  • MK fireworks with the sound piped in
  • sand volleyball
  • minus - the footprint of the resort is smaller and they're not bringing back the luau :(.
BLT -- Nope
  • too small
  • boring pool
WL Resorts -- Nope (although I have not been there in years)
  • too remote
RIV -- Nope (and I love the RIV)
  • the footprint is way too small.
  • the pool is super boring
  • limited restaurants
BCV -- Nope
  • footprint is small
  • restaurants are limited if I can't go next door to the YC.
OKW -- Nope
  • restaurants are VERY limited, which nixes everything else good about OKW for me.

Oh wow. This is a hard one and the more I read other people's arguments the more confused I get!

My choices would be either ...

AKV -- We own there so we love it.
  • animals outside your balcony
  • 2 different pools and many hot tubs
  • 4 restaurants plus one of my favorite bars on property
  • tennis, shuffleboard and basketball courts
  • I assume that both Kidani and Jambo are open, so plenty of walking between the two.
  • spa
  • minus - no ongoing entertainment
BWV -- We own there so we love it.
  • Boardwalk entertainment
  • Many nice pools (assuming we can go to the Inn side too)
  • A variety of restaurants and bars, plus the bakery plus an ice cream parlor.
  • dancing and singing
  • fireworks from Epcot and DHS
  • tennis
  • minus - walking around the resort is limited and can get boring.
SSR -- We don't own there and it's one of my least favorites for a trip. BUT, it has a lot going for it for a ... ahem ... long term stay.
  • HUGE grounds with a variety of walking paths. Woods and water.
  • I love the idea of living in treehouse with a huge porch and a private grill.
  • very nice pools
  • nice spa
  • tennis
  • golf (I would learn to play)
  • minus - restaurants are limited as is ongoing entertainment
VGF -- We stayed there once and liked it, but it's not a favorite for a regular trip.
  • large variety of restaurants and bars
  • large enough grounds to not feel too cramped.
  • nice pools
  • spa
  • some ongoing entertainment (bring back the orchestra!)
  • MK fireworks
  • nice water views
  • the wedding pavilion is close by and it's fun to watch people get married
  • minus - being so close to the MK would make me cry.
Polynesian -- We love the Polynesian
  • I love the theme.
  • I love the grounds. I would be a very relaxing place for me.
  • private splash pool at my bungalow. Heck yes!
  • dole whips for life
  • MK fireworks with the sound piped in
  • sand volleyball
  • minus - the footprint of the resort is smaller and they're not bringing back the luau :(.
BLT -- Nope
  • too small
  • boring pool
WL Resorts -- Nope (although I have not been there in years)
  • too remote
RIV -- Nope (and I love the RIV)
  • the footprint is way too small.
  • the pool is super boring
  • limited restaurants
BCV -- Nope
  • footprint is small
  • restaurants are limited if I can't go next door to the YC.
OKW -- Nope
  • restaurants are VERY limited, which nixes everything else good about OKW for me.

Yes bring back the Grand Floridian Orchestra!!!
 
Grand Floridian: two gorgeous pools, 5 Nice restaurants, quick service with outdoor tables to watch fireworks, room service, pontoon boat rentals, electric water parade, white sand beach with covered lounges. Piano player in the lobby. Second floor Lounge with an Outdoor deck to order fancy drinks. Spa.
 
What about conjugal visits? Are they permitted? I need to know the answer to this before going deeper in my analysis.
I don't want to break up a family, so I was thinking the sentence applies to them as well. You are imprisoned with your spouse until death do you part. The same restrictions are on your spouse, and any minor children (they leave at 18).

If you are not married, you can get married, IF you find a willing spouse. They would have to agree to the terms of imprisonment.
 
Aulani’s ‘Ahu ‘Ula Suite for DH and I. Having access to the ocean, to a lot of space and facilities to exercise and to a decently balanced diet (including Dole Whip of course), all in a temperate climate are the reasons of our choice.
 
This is a humane prison system
BUT
if the Dolce & Gabbana high heels that you brought with you wear out, too bad, we will not pay for new ones...you'll have to settle for Forever21 dress shoes

Two totally contradicting statements.

Yes...muhahaha...in addition to your hard time at the resort prison, you will also suffer the indignity of designer knock-offs (purchased off the rack by an instacart shopper that couldn't tell the difference between an Armani Prive and a Valentino Garavani to save their life). The law is a harsh mistress.
 
I've honestly been debating this whole week.

I'm down to two choices:
1. Beach Cottage at Vero Beach Resort
2. Grand Villa at AKL.

I had also been seriously considering Saratoga Springs (I don't golf, but I would learn) and Aulani.

Since food is included, I'm slightly leaning towards AKL. But I don't know if I could give up the Atlantic Ocean view and privacy the beach cottage provides.

Are there hurricane evacuation plans at this prison or am I left to the mercy of god at Vero beach?
 
I've honestly been debating this whole week.

I'm down to two choices:
1. Beach Cottage at Vero Beach Resort
2. Grand Villa at AKL.

I had also been seriously considering Saratoga Springs (I don't golf, but I would learn) and Aulani.

Since food is included, I'm slightly leaning towards AKL. But I don't know if I could give up the Atlantic Ocean view and privacy the beach cottage provides.

Are there hurricane evacuation plans at this prison or am I left to the mercy of god at Vero beach?

What is making you consider Vero over Aulani??
 
Are there hurricane evacuation plans at this prison or am I left to the mercy of god at Vero beach
A hurricane...in the Atlantic? :confused: Sounds very implausible.

I want to keep this realistic. I just can't account for every crazy, imaginary situation people come up with for this otherwise totally reasonable scenario in which a DVC resort is being used as a prison.
 
Grand Floridian: two gorgeous pools, 5 Nice restaurants, quick service with outdoor tables to watch fireworks, room service, pontoon boat rentals, electric water parade, white sand beach with covered lounges. Piano player in the lobby. Second floor Lounge with an Outdoor deck to order fancy drinks. Spa.

Six restaurants, now that 1900 Park Fare is back open.
Don't forget the convention center and wedding chapel.
Also, there is a club level on the hotel side, in case you want more options.
.
 

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