Wedding reception question

A

asta

DIS Veteran
Joined
Jun 13, 2001
I have noticed something at the last two weddings I attended and wonder if this is becoming the norm or if it is even OK. Both receptions were formal and fairly large of about 300 people. The wedding food was buffet style. At both there were some tables marked reserved for members of the bride and grooms extended families. I would expect to see reserved tables for immediate family but tables were reserved for cousins, aunts and uncles. The rest of the guests and even the bridesmaids and groomsmen were expected to fend for themselves in open seating. And, of course, there was not enough seating for everyone. In one case the bridesmaids came in a few minutes late because of photos and were left wandering looking for a place to sit. Very awkward! I understand seating elderly but when you go beyond that it looks like some guests are more important than others. Of course maybe they are but it doesn't seem right to make it so obvious. Is this the new norm?
 
The only receptions I've gone to without assigned tables were cocktail party style. There were lots of tables and other type of seating so people could mingle.
 


cedricandsophie said:
I've not been to a wedding for many years that doesn't have assigned seating. To me it's just laziness to not take the time to do seating arrangements. And for members of the bridal party to not be included at a head table is tacky.
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I've been to weddings where there was no head table, which I think is great.
I also wouldn't have an issue with open seating for a wedding, as long as their were enough chairs for everyone to have a seat. Maybe it is lazy, but as a guest I'd rather find people I want to sit with than be stuck at a table with people I really don't.
 
We didn't have assigned seating..nor have the majority of the weddings I've been to in the last 10 years. That being said I did reserve 2 tables for my immediate family and 2 tables for my husband's immediate family. Still no assigned seating just a few tables reserved. Everyone loved that we didn't do actual assigned seating. I've really enjoyed being a guest at a wedding without reserved seating personally.

Now that being said I did do something that I have rarely seen and that is my head table included bridesmaids and groomsmen AND their significant other/spouse/date. I really didn't want them to have to sit up at the head table without being able to have their plus 1 next to them. I did only have 3 bridesmaids and there were 3 groomsmen.
 


asta said:
I have noticed something at the last two weddings I attended and wonder if this is becoming the norm or if it is even OK. Both receptions were formal and fairly large of about 300 people. The wedding food was buffet style. At both there were some tables marked reserved for members of the bride and grooms extended families. I would expect to see reserved tables for immediate family but tables were reserved for cousins, aunts and uncles. The rest of the guests and even the bridesmaids and groomsmen were expected to fend for themselves in open seating. And, of course, there was not enough seating for everyone. In one case the bridesmaids came in a few minutes late because of photos and were left wandering looking for a place to sit. Very awkward! I understand seating elderly but when you go beyond that it looks like some guests are more important than others. Of course maybe they are but it doesn't seem right to make it so obvious. Is this the new norm?
Click to expand...
The only thing I found truly odd is not enough seating. How did that happen? Did they have that many people show up that didn't RSVP? Or did they just not do enough tables on purpose? Or did they not have a slight overage of guests built into numbers for tables and whatnot (usually for ones that didn't RSVP but showed up anyway) to accommodate extras period?
 
Ds got married 3 weeks ago. The set up was buffet style with only tables of 10 reserved for both families and a table for the bridal party.

There were 250 people there and not enough seating for all. Some of the tables were high tops- standing only.

When I saw the layout the week before the wedding, I knew that seating would be an issue. But ds said that was all the seating/tables the venue had.

It was my only disappointment of the whole day.
 
Southernmiss said:
Ds got married 3 weeks ago. The set up was buffet style with only tables of 10 reserved for both families and a table for the bridal party.

There were 250 people there and not enough seating for all. Some of the tables were high tops- standing only.

When I saw the layout the week before the wedding, I knew that seating would be an issue. But ds said that was all the seating/tables the venue had.

It was my only disappointment of the whole day.
Click to expand...

I'm curious...why did they choose a venue that couldn't accommodate all of their guests? Or did they get more "yes" RSVPs than they anticipated?
 
CarolAnn856 said:
I'm curious...why did they choose a venue that couldn't accommodate all of their guests? Or did they get more "yes" RSVPs than they anticipated?
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I was really surprised that they did not have more tables and chairs. The space was plenty big. It's the town civic center and the bride's family had been to many events there.

I think the bride's family was surprised, too. As 300 were invited and only a few declined.
 
Last edited:
DS and DDIL had assigned seating. The meal was served "family style". Platers of each of dishes on each table.
 
Southernmiss said:
I was really surprised that they did not have more tables and chairs. The space was plenty big. It's the town civic center and the bride's family had been to many events there.

I think the bride's family was surprised, too. As 300 were invited and only a few declined.
Click to expand...
Honest question..so they didn't know from the venue itself that they only had X amount of seats (as in actual seats)?

I know some venues we looked into they said you could have an option for standing tables for some at least but all of the venues were quite clear on how many tables (as in actual seats) they had capacity for.
 
Very few of the buffet receptions I have been to seem to have enough tables and chairs for everyone to sit at once. I assumed that the plan was for people to eat at different times then move on to mingle freeing up more seats. In actuality this never works. People grab a seat and leave their purse or jacket for the whole night whether they return to the seat at all. I never rush in to get a seat so we are usually left trying to make do by balancing a plate on our lap or just standing. This happens so often I really don't think these receptions are planning for everyone to sit at one time. What has bothered me lately is having 1/4 to 1/3 of the tables reserved for select guests and letting everyone else find their own seating.
 
Mackenzie Click-Mickelson said:
Honest question..so they didn't know from the venue itself that they only had X amount of seats (as in actual seats)?

I know some venues we looked into they said you could have an option for standing tables for some at least but all of the venues were quite clear on how many tables (as in actual seats) they had capacity for.
Click to expand...

Don't know. Haven't seen ds to discuss details like that-whirlwind of activity for all of us these last 3 weeks. Wedding was not in our home town. It was in the bride's an hour away. Groom's family doesn't get to make these decisions on venue, etc.

I know the bride and her family relied on a wedding planner
 
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