Wedding reception question

[focusondisney]

Well in typical Dis fashion, I'm wondering if it is a regional thing? I have never been to a reception, buffet, family style or plated meal without enough seats for all the guests. Frankly, I would find it pretty rude to invite people to a meal & not have a place for them to sit.

I also haven't been to a reception in years without assigned seating. And I would rather know I have a designated place than wander around trying to find an open seat. There is always plenty of time to move around and socialize after the meal. The thought of trying to find seats for my husband & myself would be stressful to me.

I have helped plan weddings for my DD & DS. They both made sure the venue & guest list numbers matched up. I really just can't imagine expecting our guests to stand & eat while I sit.

 

[lovin'fl]

Gosh, I thought the 100 guests I had at my wedding was a lot....250-300 guests and one doesn't select a venue that can seat them all but surely does accept a gift from them all. I'd wait to write the check gift and if no seat....they get $50 instead of $100.

 

[focusondisney]

One other thing, even at buffets around here, there is assigned seating. You are seated at your table & the hostess goes from table to table & tells you when to get up. It helps pace the folks at the buffet so the line is never too long or too empty.

 

[gillep]

I have never been to a wedding where there weren't assigned seats, I would likely find that situation quite stressful, especially if we didn't know most of the other guests. I also can't imagine not having proper seating for all guests, especially as weddings can be very expensive, and time intensive, to attend.

 

[gillep]

One other thing, even at buffets around here, there is assigned seating. You are seated at your table & the hostess goes from table to table & tells you when to get up. It helps pace the folks at the buffet so the line is never too long or too empty.

This is how all the weddings that I have attended, that have included a buffet dinner, have been arranged as well.

 

[HarperLeigh]

Ds got married 3 weeks ago. The set up was buffet style with only tables of 10 reserved for both families and a table for the bridal party.

There were 250 people there and not enough seating for all. Some of the tables were high tops- standing only.

When I saw the layout the week before the wedding, I knew that seating would be an issue. But ds said that was all the seating/tables the venue had.

It was my only disappointment of the whole day.

I hope your son and his bride had the good sense to apologize to the guests they forced to stand. As a parent, I would have been mortified.

 

[diznygirl]

Open seating isn't necessarily a problem.

Lack of enough seating definitely IS.

Exactly.

We didn't have assigned seating at our wedding over 20 years ago. But due to an error the reception hall gave us the larger room and we had way more seating than was needed.

 

[disykat]

I guess my thought is that it is inconvenient and embarrassing that there isn't enough seating and it certainly indicates a problem in the planning, but if a guest is MAD about it I think it's too bad they were invited in the first place.

My preference is assigned seating if it's a sit down meal. That makes it easier for me as a guest. However, as a guest I'll go with the flow and do whatever. I wouldn't accept the invitation if I wasn't willing to be a bit inconvenienced. I only go if I truly want to be there. (or if DH really wants to be there and I'm going with him!)

I'm always surprised by the "I'd leave" or "I'd cut the size of my gift" type posts on the DIS. Sure, I get "I wish they'd planned better" posts like the OP started here, but being annoyed enough to want to leave or take back your gift seems really odd to me.

 

[Minnesota!]

I have been to tons of weddings. Only 1 had assigned seating.

I am totally cool with open seating. And with cocktail tables. But, I want SOMEWHERE to put my plate.

 

[Southernmiss]

I guess my thought is that it is inconvenient and embarrassing that there isn't enough seating and it certainly indicates a problem in the planning, but if a guest is MAD about it I think it's too bad they were invited in the first place.

My preference is assigned seating if it's a sit down meal. That makes it easier for me as a guest. However, as a guest I'll go with the flow and do whatever. I wouldn't accept the invitation if I wasn't willing to be a bit inconvenienced. I only go if I truly want to be there. (or if DH really wants to be there and I'm going with him!)

I'm always surprised by the "I'd leave" or "I'd cut the size of my gift" type posts on the DIS. Sure, I get "I wish they'd planned better" posts like the OP started here, but being annoyed enough to want to leave or take back your gift seems really odd to me.

Thank you. As the MOG, I saw no one not having a good time or leaving even though some seating was limited. There were food stations throughout the venue and people stayed, danced and mingled. From the look of the gift table and those delivered to the bride's home, folks were gracious and,did not 'dis' the couple because of some lack of seating.

Yes, it was unfortunate there wasn't seating for all, but many of us didn't sit at all as we thanked guests for coming, mingled, danced, viewed the cakes being cut and wished the couple well. The afternoon went by in a flash.

Those needing seats-older and infirm- definitely had seats as people deferred to them.

Wasn't my party to host.

The rehearsal dinner was and had seating for all and was also well enjoyed.

 

[klacey1]

I've never been to a wedding--plated meal or buffet--that didn't have assigned tables.
I can't imagine that in any of my circles--friends or family--anyone would choose a venue that didn't have enough seats for the number of guests.

 

[mamamary]

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where there wasn't assigned seating. So then obviously there were enough seats for everyone. I think that it's terrible for there not to be enough seating for everyone.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I guess my thought is that it is inconvenient and embarrassing that there isn't enough seating and it certainly indicates a problem in the planning, but if a guest is MAD about it I think it's too bad they were invited in the first place.

My preference is assigned seating if it's a sit down meal. That makes it easier for me as a guest. However, as a guest I'll go with the flow and do whatever. I wouldn't accept the invitation if I wasn't willing to be a bit inconvenienced. I only go if I truly want to be there. (or if DH really wants to be there and I'm going with him!)

I'm always surprised by the "I'd leave" or "I'd cut the size of my gift" type posts on the DIS. Sure, I get "I wish they'd planned better" posts like the OP started here, but being annoyed enough to want to leave or take back your gift seems really odd to me.

I wouldn't even throw a birthday party for a 2 year old that didn't have enough seats let alone a wedding. The least you can do is give your guests a place to sit. It's rude and in poor taste. When I throw a party I think of my guests first.

 

[indimom]

I've been to receptions with assigned seating, partially assigned (like the OP) and open seating. No problem with any of those. But, not ENOUGH seats to go around is really surprising to me. I've never been to a reception that didn't have enough seats. Yikes.

 

[Disneylover99]

I'm always surprised by the "I'd leave" or "I'd cut the size of my gift" type posts on the DIS. Sure, I get "I wish they'd planned better" posts like the OP started here, but being annoyed enough to want to leave or take back your gift seems really odd to me.

I consider myself pretty easygoing, but if I didn't get a seat? I'd certainly be thinking along those lines.

I can handle running out of food and drinks, but don't run out of tables and chairs for your guests. I really can't imagine just standing around with a plate of buffet food in my hand at a wedding.

 

[lorimay]

Yes, that is strange, its 4 hours usually at some point people need a seat.

At both my kids wedding at the cocktails hours, there was not chairs for everyone and I didn't like that. Especially for women with heels on.
At my son's wedding this past April, I asked the venue manager to please get some extra chairs, she had them there without issue. The cocktail hour was in a huge atrium room, no reason for someone to stand when theres a big place.

 

[ronandannette]

Since the most recent wedding we attended (this past weekend), I've decided I loathe buffet-style banquets. With 15 or more tables, it took over an hour just to have them all called up to get in line. The first tables were done long before the last and the cake was being cut well before many were done eating. Add that to people trying to move through the crowd to the various "stations" (as opposed to one single serving line) and squeeze by the occupied tables and chairs in the venue and it was chaos. If and when DS marries, I'll be advocating for a plated meal at assigned seats.

 

[mom2rtk]

Well, this would never fly on "Four Weddings".

 

[Wishing on a star]

Who expects their guests to stand during dinner??

Well, if seating was inadequate, or that 'tight', then I would wonder if the Bride and Groom (whomever planned the reception) tried to get away with paying for fewer guests than were invited.

I have planned a few events.. (not big wedding receptions, but...)
and I can't imagine a reputable/formal venue that didn't charge by some kind of head-count, and then provide the amount of food and the number of chairs accordingly.
I wonder how quickly the food ran out?

Something seems very fishy here...
This could go further than whether the bridal party were assigned special seating or not.
Unless there were a LOT of wedding crashers... More than I have ever heard of... Then things just aren't adding up.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Yes, that is strange, its 4 hours usually at some point people need a seat.

At both my kids wedding at the cocktails hours, there was not chairs for everyone and I didn't like that. Especially for women with heels on.
At my son's wedding this past April, I asked the venue manager to please get some extra chairs, she had them there without issue. The cocktail hour was in a huge atrium room, no reason for someone to stand when theres a big place.

Most cocktail hours I've been to don't have enough seats. I think they want people up and mingling for that hour. I prefer a seat for a bit since I'm wearing heels.