The Bachelor — Pilot Pete

[robinb]

Totally agree. As someone he’s supposedly falling in love with, he should have given her the benefit of the doubt, went ahead with meeting her family, then had a conversation after the fact. But instead he took the word of someone he dated in 2012??! What a slap in the face.

He kept her around because he just wants to sleep with her. She is stunningly beautiful and physically hot he doesn’t want to miss out on that.

 

[lisaviolet]

How the heck did he expect her to act? Victoria was on a high from finally having a straightforward fun day with him, happily waiting for him to greet her family - he simply expected her to be a robot about it all.

Like Robin, I don't care if she truly is the worst person in the world, he expected her to have no emotion about how he was handling it all and quite frankly he had a family waiting to meet him - he was rude.

At the very least, if he really couldn't get his own emotions about it all in check - sigh, he should have introduced himself to her family, thanked them and said something about how Victoria and him were struggling through something right now. And simply apologize if he had to leave.

I don't care who the real Victoria is - regardless it was gross for her family to find their daughter outside crying alone, with the man they were ready to host nowhere in sight.

 

[lisaviolet]

Oh and I read that Peter's ex was just an added bonus for that wonderful production staff - ie. It organically happened. A bonus. I know that sounds absurd but apparently they had Arie's MIL all set up and ready to do the deed that day - let out how Victoria is an awful person. But they never needed her to speak up, because the ex happened.

The Bachelor franchise is going to roll the dice too far one day on someone's mental well-being.

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As for Peter his dynamic, ease and chemistry with Hannah B. far outweighs any of the women he has chosen.

I remember that scene where Hannah finds condoms in Peter's car. It was hysterical between them, the back and forth.

I always thought that Hannah was simply not attracted to how earnest and totally in love Peter was with her. But then she went on and on about four times in a windmill. So I am at a loss about what was missing for her - great conversations, obvious sexual chemistry, great banter and he was a sweetheart to her. So ?????

 

[nkereina]

How many times has he believed drama from someone and challenged one of the women? It happened ... All. Season. Long. Some of them were ’guilty’ of the crime and some were not. But he swallowed drama from everyone hook, line and sinker and spread the drama through the house. Victoria was there with her family and he brought up the drama before he even met them. I don’t care if she slept with all of VA Beach, she didn’t deserve to be humiliated like that by the producers or by Peter who is so insecure that he continually believes the worst of the women. And I say that as someone who doesn’t like her AT ALL.

Totally agree. As someone he’s supposedly falling in love with, he should have given her the benefit of the doubt, went ahead with meeting her family, then had a conversation after the fact. But instead he took the word of someone he dated in 2012??! What a slap in the face.

Personally, I think it would be worse for him to have had this weighing on his mind but put on a fake front and meet her family with this in the background. I would have taken the same approach as Peter - nip it in the bud at the very beginning so you can put it to rest and then move on with the evening. But Victoria's defensive and instantly combative response set the tone, making Peter defensive, and caused a rift between them ruining the evening. If Victoria were more mature, she could have had an adult conversation and explain things to Peter, which is ultimately what he was looking for. But she knew she had been caught red handed and that her bad reputation/past was catching up with her in that moment, and there's no good explanation for that. Her attitude with him wasn't just because she was blindsided either - its clearly her personality, because on their date prior is when she told him he's "always in a mood". So this isn't their first disagreement. I'm not sure why Peter would want to be with someone where the relationship is that difficult and the woman lacks communication skills.

The producers' job is to make salacious TV that keeps us watching. They dig up the dirt on these people and use it when it makes sense for the narrative they are creating. I'm not saying its right, but it is what it is and we consume it anyway. Production did not do her as dirty as they could have - according to spoiler sites, the bits about her being with married men were cut leaving the whole thing a lot more vague than expected. And someone gets a bad edit every season, especially when they have skeletons or something atypical (Luke P and Jed come to mind from last season). If you have a past like Victoria F's, you cannot be blindsided/upset when its brought up in a TV series about people looking for love.

 

[Princessclab]

He kept her around because he just wants to sleep with her. She is stunningly beautiful and physically hot he doesn’t want to miss out on that.

Yup, he is a horn dog..........

 

[jennyq87]

But Victoria's defensive and instantly combative response set the tone, making Peter defensive, and caused a rift between them ruining the evening. If Victoria were more mature, she could have had an adult conversation and explain things to Peter, which is ultimately what he was looking for. But she knew she had been caught red handed and that her bad reputation/past was catching up with her in that moment, and there's no good explanation for that. Her attitude with him wasn't just because she was blindsided either - its clearly her personality, because on their date prior is when she told him he's "always in a mood". So this isn't their first disagreement. I'm not sure why Peter would want to be with someone where the relationship is that difficult and the woman lacks communication skills.

Couldn't agree with you more. I liked Victoria early on, and she's stupid hot, but man she's just self-imploded. Every time they have the opportunity to be alone she finds a reason to freak out and cry and run away. And Peter gives in and chases her. I was that way... when I was 14. Peter is certainly not perfect, but I can't fault him for how that hometown night went. I saw some people say that he should have given Victoria the benefit of the doubt over the ex gf that showed up, but he wasn't even really afforded that opportunity. He was looking for clarity. Important clarity. He sat her down like an adult and said hey.. this happened.. do you know what's going on? He didn't accuse her of anything. But instead of being an adult and trying to have a conversation, she jumped right to mocking him and repeating herself and then turns it on him like the situation is all his fault. They never even really addressed the issue because she couldn't have an adult conversation. And yeah it sucks for her and her family, but I would have addressed the issue before I met the family as well. I don't want to put on a happy face and have these deep conversations if there are serious doubts in my mind. Of course I don't know Peter, but my guess is that he knew it wasn't her at that point anyway. So the family part didn't really matter. I think it just came down to Madison and Hannah tied for 1st.. so would he rather have Kelsey or Victoria in the fantasy suite? Not saying I agree with that or anything.. just my guess.

You can argue that her history should be irrelevant (although I don't believe that -- I'd want to know if my potential wife *allegedly* broke up 4 marriages and has quite a rap sheet), and even if you strip that out, it's the fact that the girl just completely lacks any sort of communication skills. And I have zero sympathy for her - especially after the stuff that's come out.

 

[nkereina]

I saw some people say that he should have given Victoria the benefit of the doubt over the ex gf that showed up, but he wasn't even really afforded that opportunity.

Just to add, in the ex girlfriend's defense, its been reported that she explained to Peter about Victoria being a mistress, breaking up marriages, etc. so he knew a lot more than what was shown in the episode. I definitely don't blame him for wanting to ask her about it the first chance he got.

You can argue that her history should be irrelevant (although I don't believe that -- I'd want to know if my potential wife *allegedly* broke up 4 marriages and has quite a rap sheet), and even if you strip that out, it's the fact that the girl just completely lacks any sort of communication skills. And I have zero sympathy for her - especially after the stuff that's come out.

Exactly! Agreed. The mistress thing aside, she's also has a DUI and wore a controversial t-shirt as part of an advertisement that had racist undertones. Each of these things individually I could probably overlook, but when aggregated together, she gives off bad vibes. Its a good thing Peter was put on notice of it.

 

[mnrose]

There's no way that Peter "sees" the final 3 as his wife. Maybe 1 of them. That's the harsh reality. But, they have to bring 3 to the overnights. That's the show. Most of the contestants will tell you that within a week or two, they KNOW their final 2 or 3, and the rest is "filler" to get to the end. Just what the show is. And, by the time they get to overnights, most know who their F1 is....but again, they have to go through the motions. Victoria is a fun "fling" for Peter....which I do not respect, but it is what it is.

 

[lisaviolet]

I think two different issues are being discussed as one. And getting muddled.

I am not a Victoria fan at all. I laughed at the description of the push and pull part of her - someone saying they did that at 14. Priceless and fair. So funny.

I am happy that Peter now has very pertinent information about someone he was getting serious about. No doubt that is important. Her ways and background are absolutely relevant, was never talking about disregarding it. And if that came courtesy of the producers or organically - who cares in the end, because I am happy he has the information somehow - if true. (Separate from me feeling like the producers need to watch how far they push a person emotionally. And separate from Peter being open to Victoria when/while getting to truth and her side - remember we have information he doesn't.)

And I don't think Peter should just go in and be fake to her family.

I don't even fault him for discussing it head on with Victoria. That is the way I like to communicate.

But - and maybe it was because the comversation at hand was strongly edited (as someone added here) - I felt most people would have difficulty in having a no emotion conversation about it, as I felt Peter really seemed to expect from Victoria. That is where I struggled, as in that is a lot to expect. Some of you must be way more evolved than I, no sarcasm meant, because given how well the date went/excited about Peter meeting her family I think a rational/totally mature/void of emotion conversation was a pipedream in that distinct environment. I obviously have some personal work to do, laughing. Because I wouldn't have reacted much better.

And like I said I felt that leaving her there on the street crying with a family waiting for his arrival wasn't very generous in nature. Go in and be fake? Nope. But there were other options. It felt really gross to me, Victoria's past has no bearing on that thought for me. One has nothing to do with the other, in my mind.

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But to give wee Peter some credit he did seem to be regretful the next day. Or maybe he was just excited to have his eyes on Victoria again!!!

 

[robinb]

Some of you must be way more evolved than I, no sarcasm meant, because given how well the date went/excited about Peter meeting her family I think a rational/totally mature/void of emotion conversation was a pipedream in that distinct environment. I obviously have some personal work to do, laughing. Because I wouldn't have reacted much better.

Word. I would have acted the same way if my boyfriend blindsided me with more drama told to him by someone else. Just the fact that he was reacting from a place of insecurity and immaturity meant that there was no chance of a rational discussion that night.

I happen to think that he should have gone in anyway and met her family. I’m not saying he should have ignored what was said to him or that Victoria’s prior actions don’t matter. But he was there to finish his date and meet her family and that’s what he should have done. Yes he should question her, but do it on the loveseat after the date, or go see her ‘off script’ or talk to her before he gives his rose. There were so many different ways for him to get to the bottom of things and still respect her and her family.

 

[nkereina]

There's no way that Peter "sees" the final 3 as his wife. Maybe 1 of them. That's the harsh reality. But, they have to bring 3 to the overnights. That's the show. Most of the contestants will tell you that within a week or two, they KNOW their final 2 or 3, and the rest is "filler" to get to the end. Just what the show is. And, by the time they get to overnights, most know who their F1 is....but again, they have to go through the motions. Victoria is a fun "fling" for Peter....which I do not respect, but it is what it is.

For the last few years, there's been some leeway in having a non-traditional route of the show (i.e. Colton's fence jump) that leaves things a little different So its very possible he doesn't have to take three people to fantasy suites, BUT I do agree that I think he wanted to. Peter has said he's known his final choice since week 4, but Peter himself is also young and immature and its been said he falls fast and hard - I think that was even said on Hannah B's season. But I do agree that none of the final 3 women will make for a lasting relationship. Its all lust and once the Bachelor bubble bursts, it will all be over.

But - and maybe it was because the comversation at hand was strongly edited (as someone added here) - I felt most people would have difficulty in having a no emotion conversation about it, as I felt Peter really seemed to expect from Victoria. That is where I struggled, as in that is a lot to expect. Some of you must be way more evolved than I, no sarcasm meant, because given how well the date went/excited about Peter meeting her family I think a rational/totally mature/void of emotion conversation was a pipedream in that distinct environment. I obviously have some personal work to do, laughing. Because I wouldn't have reacted much better.

I would have acted the same way if my boyfriend blindsided me with more drama told to him by someone else. Just the fact that he was reacting from a place of insecurity and immaturity meant that there was no chance of a rational discussion that night.

I don't blame Victoria F for getting upset and crying, but I do think her mean and argumentative tone was inappropriate given the situation. With what Peter was asking her, I would have expected one of two reactions: 1) her being astonished at the accusation, explaining its not true, explaining how she knows Merissa (the ex) and where things may have been misconstrued, reiterating her love for Peter and how she's been honest with him, etc. etc. OR 2) her admitting her role in what Merissa accused her of, having a contrite tone, apologetic for not explaining her past, offering an explanation. Tears in either of these scenarios is totally understandable. But instead, Victoria deflected by creating an argument, turning it around on Peter, and then the root of the conversation got lost in their war of words. She manipulated the whole situation so she didn't have to address the true question at hand. From my perspective, her reaction was immature because it seemed to me Peter was asking her for clarity about a serious accusation, which is actually a mature thing to do, since communication is important in a relationship. There's no way Peter could not have blindsided her because it had never been spoken about, and Peter was also blindsided by it himself. Even if Merissa was just stirring up drama and completely fabricating everything (which she wasn't), I don't know how Peter could not address it with Victoria since its so serious.

 

[jennyq87]

I don't blame Victoria F for getting upset and crying, but I do think her mean and argumentative tone was inappropriate given the situation. With what Peter was asking her, I would have expected one of two reactions: 1) her being astonished at the accusation, explaining its not true, explaining how she knows Merissa (the ex) and where things may have been misconstrued, reiterating her love for Peter and how she's been honest with him, etc. etc. OR 2) her admitting her role in what Merissa accused her of, having a contrite tone, apologetic for not explaining her past, offering an explanation. Tears in either of these scenarios is totally understandable. But instead, Victoria deflected by creating an argument, turning it around on Peter, and then the root of the conversation got lost in their war of words. She manipulated the whole situation so she didn't have to address the true question at hand. From my perspective, her reaction was immature because it seemed to me Peter was asking her for clarity about a serious accusation, which is actually a mature thing to do, since communication is important in a relationship. There's no way Peter could not have blindsided her because it had never been spoken about, and Peter was also blindsided by it himself. Even if Merissa was just stirring up drama and completely fabricating everything (which she wasn't), I don't know how Peter could not address it with Victoria since its so serious.

Exactly. Completely agree with everything you said. It's not that she got emotional, it's how she got emotional. Cry, be frustrated, whatever -- but you need to be able to talk through difficult things without resorting to immature behaviors in a relationship. If it was such a ridiculous accusation, then just explain that to Peter with words. You can cry through those words, or be upset, but you need to be able to have the discussion.

I think there is a big difference between "blindsided with more drama" and hearing highly concerning information from a trusted source from your past. I don't see how addressing those concerns reflects insecurity or immaturity at all. I don't know how you could let something like that slide? I certainly couldn't. If I hear you're breaking up marriages on the reg, I want an explanation ASAP. Certainly before I'm in an awkward environment with your family. Everyone handles conflict differently, but I, like Peter, prefer to address issues head-on and right away. And if they were able to talk through that conversation, cry it out, get an explanation, he still could have met the family. But after her reaction, I don't know how you move forward from that in the moment. I don't fault him for that at all.

 

[nkereina]

I think there is a big difference between "blindsided with more drama" and hearing highly concerning information from a trusted source from your past.

Good point. If Peter's relationship with Merissa ended poorly or he thought she was jealous or dramatic, then perhaps he would have taken her words with a grain of salt. But he didn't, so that gives her some credibility. Its also worth noting that his and Merissa's relationship has long been over - he dated someone else after her, before he went on Hannah's season. The spoiler sites said that his and Merissa's relationship was more casual rather than a long-term serious one. To me, that means Victoria must be especially egregious for her to go out of her way to warn him about it.

 

[lisaviolet]

There were so many different ways for him to get to the bottom of things and still respect her and her family.

This is exactly how I felt.

 

[lisaviolet]

I don't know how you could let something like that slide? I certainly couldn't.

I honestly don't think there is anyone posting who is suggesting that.

Everyone handles conflict differently, but I, like Peter, prefer to address issues head-on.

I am exactly like you with conflict Jenny.

Regardless I felt that Peter had no room for an emotional reaction from Victoria. Was her reaction mature? Nope. But shock - and I am sure that is how it would feel in the moment, especially being so happy to see him/in front of her family's house/third party information from someone you know - can produce poor behaviour and an overly emotional response in the best of us.

Or maybe just me.

 

[lisaviolet]

. But instead, Victoria deflected by creating an argument, turning it around on Peter, and then the root of the conversation got lost in their war of words

Absolutely nkereina.

No doubt Victoria reacted poorly. No doubt she got defensive. No doubt it didn't solve anything.

I am only arguing that she must have been emotionally overwhelmed in the moment, and what that can produce in people.

Yes Peter was too, having such information. But he had some time - small amount but still time - to at least process it somewhat. He is not the one being accused of something, from a third party, in an environment that was full of happy moments and possibilities.

I don't know how Peter could not address it with Victoria since its so serious.

I think everyone agrees with this statement. No sarcasm meant.

 

[nkereina]

I am only arguing that she must have been emotionally overwhelmed in the moment, and what that can produce in people.

I'm sure she was, and the product of that really displayed her emotional immaturity. Her reaction only helped to prove what Peter's ex had said about her.

I think everyone agrees with this statement. No sarcasm meant.

It seemed like some thought Peter should have taken it with a grain of salt, because it was just drama from his ex and he should trust in Victoria more. That's really what I meant by that.

 

[jennyq87]

I honestly don't think there is anyone posting who is suggesting that.

I am exactly like you with conflict Jenny.

Regardless I felt that Peter had no room for an emotional reaction from Victoria. Was her reaction mature? Nope. But shock - and I am sure that is how it would feel in the moment, especially being so happy to see him/in front of her family's house/third party information from someone you know - can produce poor behaviour and an overly emotional response in the best of us.

Or maybe just me.

Sorry yall - don't normally get too involved on here and I'm not good at quoting multiple people - I'm sure it's not always clear which comments I'm referring to

Someone above had suggested that he address it after he met the family or at the rose ceremony. And that he blindsided her and bringing it up was immature/insecure or whatever. As far as my "letting it slide" - I was referring to just putting it in the back of your head until after and/or choosing not to bring it up because it was "drama" that showed "immaturity or insecurity". That's what I was referring to. Apologies if I misunderstood the intention of those comments! I was just agreeing with Peter's approach because it's how I, personally, would have chosen to handle it.

As far as Victoria's reaction, I think we just don't see eye to eye on that. And that's cool. To each their own. I don't think her reaction was acceptable, regardless of Peter's question, his timing, her "shock", the situation, whatever. I can accept an emotional response -- and I don't agree that Peter didn't allow for that -- but I can't accept the insane immaturity she displayed.

Lastly, if you're going to repeatedly destroy marriages and go on national television, you should probably be prepared to have to address it

 

[ENJDisneyFan]

Last night's episode went pretty much how I expected. I have mixed feelings about Madison. On one hand I respect her for sticking to her personal beliefs and can totally understand why she would have trouble moving forward with Peter knowing that he just slept with 2 other women. On the other hand, she knew the format of the show going in so it shouldn't have come as a surprise. Next 2 weeks will be interesting for sure!

 

[mnrose]

Yes....I sure don't understand why Madison is even there! This show is notorious for the "lead" sleeping with multiple people. Heck, she knew (unless she lived under a rock) that Peter was most "famous" for 4 times in a windmill with Hannah B. And, THIS is the guy she gave up weeks of her time to find "true love?" She's deluded. And don't forget that Pete's parents were positively giddy about the "4 times in a windmill" news at the Bachelorette season finale last year. I'm just guessing (and it's not much of a stretch) that these two families would NEVER be compatible and their relationship is doomed. Just too different worlds. One isn't better than the other, and everyone gets to live their own life, but seriously....way incompatible. Once they are outside the bubble that is this show, it's a goner.